Great Game Quotes
- Thread starter Dias Ex Machina
- Start date
We once played in a WWII one shot.
We were americans supposed to meet the french resistance deep in german territory. So of course, everyone was on high alert.
We meet the resistance:
Frenchman: "Are you the Americans?"
Us: "Yes"
And with that simple word and no other credentials, the resistance laid out there whole battleplan!!
We ribbed the GM about that one for a long time
We were americans supposed to meet the french resistance deep in german territory. So of course, everyone was on high alert.
We meet the resistance:
Frenchman: "Are you the Americans?"
Us: "Yes"
And with that simple word and no other credentials, the resistance laid out there whole battleplan!!
We ribbed the GM about that one for a long time
We were chasing down a pair of Rakshasas who had stolen a dangerous artifact. We had found out what they were, though they hadn't yet revealed themselves to us yet and they were in the process of giving us the usual threats about not pursuing them via a projected image. Which lead to this conversation.
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
A few spells we've re-named over time to suit the situation:
Tenser's Herniated Disk - a floating disk that's been overloaded.
Phantasmal Filler - a Phantasmal Killer where the intended victim saves and ignores it.
We have a Dwarf Cleric in our game named Naug, who of course casts...Naugury.
Lanefan
Tenser's Herniated Disk - a floating disk that's been overloaded.
Phantasmal Filler - a Phantasmal Killer where the intended victim saves and ignores it.
We have a Dwarf Cleric in our game named Naug, who of course casts...Naugury.
Lanefan
Player 1: "Man, when the Rogue died last week, I had never seen anyone as cold as y'all!"
Player 2: "You mean the eulogy & service- 'You're dead, dude- glad its not me! I get his boots!'"
Player 1: "Yeah- I mean...is anyone even carrying his body?"
Player 3: "Nah- we left his ass up on cinder blocks."
Player 2: "Eh, maybe we shoulda- he'd make a good bludgeoning weapon..."
We've done something similar as well...
Neutralize Poisson: Keeps those pesky fish from attacking.
Cowkill: Drops a Heifer on target.
Player 2: "You mean the eulogy & service- 'You're dead, dude- glad its not me! I get his boots!'"
Player 1: "Yeah- I mean...is anyone even carrying his body?"
Player 3: "Nah- we left his ass up on cinder blocks."
Player 2: "Eh, maybe we shoulda- he'd make a good bludgeoning weapon..."
We've done something similar as well...
Neutralize Poisson: Keeps those pesky fish from attacking.
Cowkill: Drops a Heifer on target.
Dias Ex Machina
Publisher / Game Designer
GM: “Everyone make spots checks.”
URIEL: “10…I look louder.”
GM: “How can you look louder?”
URIEL: “HAAAA!!!” (eyes open wide)
URIEL: “Great, there will be a Tarrasque there.”
JONAS: “Cool I want to ride it.”
AIDEN: “Can you have a Tarrasque as a mount?”
URIEL: “Ya mule…go left…okay..we’re going right…YA RIGHT…now were stopping, WOAW! And now…we’re….going left, YA LEFT!!”
VINCENT: “Holy Crap….My stat line is 18, 17, 18, 16, 17, 17!”
GM: “I saw it…that’s real.”
BEN: “How did you do that?”
VINCENT: “It’s the roll baby…got let it roll off like a waterfall.”
(Ben rolls…)
BEN: “12…”
VINCENT: “That’s not a waterfall…roll like you got a pair!”
(Ben rolls again)
BEN: “11”
VINCENT: “I said roll like a waterfall you F@#$%&!!”
BEN (down): “Ohhh.”
VINCENT: “I make fun cause I love you.”
GM: “Okay…so your parents sold you…lets say to a company.”
BEN: “Pick one.”
GM: “That one…”
(Ben looks at it as well.)
BEN: “Sausage Electronics?!”
GREGORI: “Your parents sold you to a sausage factory!?”
GM: “What….Its Sagawa Electronics.”
BEN: “I am soo tired…I read Sausage Electronics. Parents sold me to be meat
GM: "Mommy and Daddy sold you the Electric Sausage Factory.”
ROY: “Electric Sausage…that’s got to be our next WOW guild name!”
BEN: “Can’t I just roll for my history?”
GM: “Fine…okay…childhood….roll D10”
BEN: “2.”
GM: “Your parents sold you for money.”
ROY: “Right on!”
BEN: “Mommy?”
GM: “The tank is coming up behind you.”
BEN: “Can I jump on it?”
GM: “Maybe…the driver of your car can slow down a bit.”
GEGORI: “What are you doing?”
BEN: “Going to jump on the tank.”
GREGORI: “ARE YOU INSANE!?”
ROY: “I can’t believe you actually thought that was a good idea!”
ROY: “I am going to check on this guy Chandri.”
GREGORI: “I think its short for Chandri Bhat.”
(Roy attempts a Gather Information roll and Fails)
ROY: “I think he Indian…”
GREGORI: “Thank you, Captain Commander.”
GM: “His name is Chandri.”
GREGORI: “Chandra.”
GM: “No…Chandra built the HAL 9000…this is Chandri.”
GREGORI: “Chandra was supposed to be Indian to…till he got played by the blonde white guy that owns NBC on Seinfeld.”
URIEL: “10…I look louder.”
GM: “How can you look louder?”
URIEL: “HAAAA!!!” (eyes open wide)
URIEL: “Great, there will be a Tarrasque there.”
JONAS: “Cool I want to ride it.”
AIDEN: “Can you have a Tarrasque as a mount?”
URIEL: “Ya mule…go left…okay..we’re going right…YA RIGHT…now were stopping, WOAW! And now…we’re….going left, YA LEFT!!”
VINCENT: “Holy Crap….My stat line is 18, 17, 18, 16, 17, 17!”
GM: “I saw it…that’s real.”
BEN: “How did you do that?”
VINCENT: “It’s the roll baby…got let it roll off like a waterfall.”
(Ben rolls…)
BEN: “12…”
VINCENT: “That’s not a waterfall…roll like you got a pair!”
(Ben rolls again)
BEN: “11”
VINCENT: “I said roll like a waterfall you F@#$%&!!”
BEN (down): “Ohhh.”
VINCENT: “I make fun cause I love you.”
GM: “Okay…so your parents sold you…lets say to a company.”
BEN: “Pick one.”
GM: “That one…”
(Ben looks at it as well.)
BEN: “Sausage Electronics?!”
GREGORI: “Your parents sold you to a sausage factory!?”
GM: “What….Its Sagawa Electronics.”
BEN: “I am soo tired…I read Sausage Electronics. Parents sold me to be meat
GM: "Mommy and Daddy sold you the Electric Sausage Factory.”
ROY: “Electric Sausage…that’s got to be our next WOW guild name!”
BEN: “Can’t I just roll for my history?”
GM: “Fine…okay…childhood….roll D10”
BEN: “2.”
GM: “Your parents sold you for money.”
ROY: “Right on!”
BEN: “Mommy?”
GM: “The tank is coming up behind you.”
BEN: “Can I jump on it?”
GM: “Maybe…the driver of your car can slow down a bit.”
GEGORI: “What are you doing?”
BEN: “Going to jump on the tank.”
GREGORI: “ARE YOU INSANE!?”
ROY: “I can’t believe you actually thought that was a good idea!”
ROY: “I am going to check on this guy Chandri.”
GREGORI: “I think its short for Chandri Bhat.”
(Roy attempts a Gather Information roll and Fails)
ROY: “I think he Indian…”
GREGORI: “Thank you, Captain Commander.”
GM: “His name is Chandri.”
GREGORI: “Chandra.”
GM: “No…Chandra built the HAL 9000…this is Chandri.”
GREGORI: “Chandra was supposed to be Indian to…till he got played by the blonde white guy that owns NBC on Seinfeld.”
Dias Ex Machina
Publisher / Game Designer
God knows I am not one to leave well enough alone...
ROY: “I use my cloak to appear as one man.”
GM: “But you are one man.”
GM: “Please remove all firearms and place them in the tray.”
ROY: “Okay…three knives, a pistol.”
GREGORI: “My pistol…that’s it.”
BEN: “Pistol, ‘nother pistol, spare in my ankle holster, my 10 gauge shotgun, the stun-tonfas--”
GREGORI: “Are you retarded?!”
ROY: “That’s subtle!”
GREGORI: “You brought a shotgun!?”
BEN: “I didn’t know what to expect!”
GREGORI: “We’re going into a corporation…I mean what the #$%&! is wrong with you!?”
BEN: “I play a cyborg who loves normal food.”
GREGORI: “What happens to it?”
BEN: “I dunno, I assume its gets compacted and I just release a little owl pellet.”
ROY: “Yeah, that’s really too much information.”
GM: “Behind the trigger of the .50 calibar machine gun is a huge woman…I mean like six-feet in every direction. She sprays the area.”
ROY: “With flem…”
BEN: “I’m using my stun tonfa. He takes 12 points of damage and must make a DC18 fort save of fall unconscious.”
GM: “Doesn’t matter, the 12 points crushes his skull.”
GREGORI: “BEN!”
BEN: “Sorry!”
ROY: “We want them ALIVE!”
BEN: “I was using my stun tonfa!”
(Roy imitates Ben with a huge downward clubbing motion)
ROY: “WHAM!!” (points at the ground) “You’re stunned!!”
GREGORI: “It looks a lot like the concert Pianist, James Bannerman.”
ROY: “The Hulk?”
GM: “That’s Bruce Banner, you idiot.”
ROY (slamming fists down): “HULK PLAY PIANOOO!!!”
BEN (announcing): “Public Security.”
GM: “Do you have ID?”
BEN: “YES!
(a long pause)
BEN: “OH, wait…yes…actually I do.”
(Bean shows the ID)
GM: “Sir, that’s a stick of gum.”
BEN: “I am almost at level 6…whats the difference between 5 and 6?”
GM: “Uhh….1…”
ROY: “I use my cloak to appear as one man.”
GM: “But you are one man.”
GM: “Please remove all firearms and place them in the tray.”
ROY: “Okay…three knives, a pistol.”
GREGORI: “My pistol…that’s it.”
BEN: “Pistol, ‘nother pistol, spare in my ankle holster, my 10 gauge shotgun, the stun-tonfas--”
GREGORI: “Are you retarded?!”
ROY: “That’s subtle!”
GREGORI: “You brought a shotgun!?”
BEN: “I didn’t know what to expect!”
GREGORI: “We’re going into a corporation…I mean what the #$%&! is wrong with you!?”
BEN: “I play a cyborg who loves normal food.”
GREGORI: “What happens to it?”
BEN: “I dunno, I assume its gets compacted and I just release a little owl pellet.”
ROY: “Yeah, that’s really too much information.”
GM: “Behind the trigger of the .50 calibar machine gun is a huge woman…I mean like six-feet in every direction. She sprays the area.”
ROY: “With flem…”
BEN: “I’m using my stun tonfa. He takes 12 points of damage and must make a DC18 fort save of fall unconscious.”
GM: “Doesn’t matter, the 12 points crushes his skull.”
GREGORI: “BEN!”
BEN: “Sorry!”
ROY: “We want them ALIVE!”
BEN: “I was using my stun tonfa!”
(Roy imitates Ben with a huge downward clubbing motion)
ROY: “WHAM!!” (points at the ground) “You’re stunned!!”
GREGORI: “It looks a lot like the concert Pianist, James Bannerman.”
ROY: “The Hulk?”
GM: “That’s Bruce Banner, you idiot.”
ROY (slamming fists down): “HULK PLAY PIANOOO!!!”
BEN (announcing): “Public Security.”
GM: “Do you have ID?”
BEN: “YES!
(a long pause)
BEN: “OH, wait…yes…actually I do.”
(Bean shows the ID)
GM: “Sir, that’s a stick of gum.”
BEN: “I am almost at level 6…whats the difference between 5 and 6?”
GM: “Uhh….1…”
In a storeroom under a tavern, the flammability of alcohol was brought up, followed by:
Fighter: I have a great idea!
GM: Really? Make a Wisdom check.
There was also a recent discussion with one of my friends... we've been talking about putting a new game together, with me DMing, but haven't actually picked a setting. Thankfully, this was all over IMs, so I got to keep a copy of it...
Pat: Entertain me!
Tom: where's my new campaign? you won't be entertained until then
Pat: Fine, make a character.
Tom: What setting?
Pat: ... you know, it'd be funny to just let you make whatever...
Tom: I'm a Shifter Jedi pledged to the Federation of Allied Planets!
Tom: oh and gandalf is my man slave
Pat: Well, at least it'd be better than a chaotic good Drow ranger.
Tom: Did I mention that I'm a good jedi with deep yerning pain that will soon lead me to the darkside?
Tom: yearning*
Pat: Noooooooooooooo!
Tom: And I'm also the youngest in a family of jedis... the littlest jedi you could say.... but I won't let that get me down... I think I can I think I can
Pat: You done?
Tom: Not quite. I'm creating. Don't rush me
Tom: And... and there's a beautiful daughter of the evil Romulan Sith Lord that I'm madly in love with... that will be the driving force of my redemption from the dark-side that will eventually lead me to killing her father!
Tom: But she will think that he has killed me... because his previously unknown apprentice tells her that I am dead and she commits suicide.... and then in a massive fight near her newly poisoned corpse the apprentice and I fight!
Tom: But we are so powerful we fight to a stand still... and our force essences unite creating Super Jedi Shifter! And I have a power level of over 10000!
Pat: Ok. You realize its a Space Opera, and not a Soap Opera?
Tom: I'm NOT DONE YET!
Tom: And then an evil race of technology haters appear from another galaxy and I can't sense them in the force and I die
Tom: Now you can criticize you angry angry man
Pat: Hey, you die in the end, what could I possibly criticize?
Pat: I mean... that was your backstory. And you died. Before the campaign started.
Fighter: I have a great idea!
GM: Really? Make a Wisdom check.
There was also a recent discussion with one of my friends... we've been talking about putting a new game together, with me DMing, but haven't actually picked a setting. Thankfully, this was all over IMs, so I got to keep a copy of it...
Pat: Entertain me!
Tom: where's my new campaign? you won't be entertained until then
Pat: Fine, make a character.
Tom: What setting?
Pat: ... you know, it'd be funny to just let you make whatever...
Tom: I'm a Shifter Jedi pledged to the Federation of Allied Planets!
Tom: oh and gandalf is my man slave
Pat: Well, at least it'd be better than a chaotic good Drow ranger.
Tom: Did I mention that I'm a good jedi with deep yerning pain that will soon lead me to the darkside?
Tom: yearning*
Pat: Noooooooooooooo!
Tom: And I'm also the youngest in a family of jedis... the littlest jedi you could say.... but I won't let that get me down... I think I can I think I can
Pat: You done?
Tom: Not quite. I'm creating. Don't rush me
Tom: And... and there's a beautiful daughter of the evil Romulan Sith Lord that I'm madly in love with... that will be the driving force of my redemption from the dark-side that will eventually lead me to killing her father!
Tom: But she will think that he has killed me... because his previously unknown apprentice tells her that I am dead and she commits suicide.... and then in a massive fight near her newly poisoned corpse the apprentice and I fight!
Tom: But we are so powerful we fight to a stand still... and our force essences unite creating Super Jedi Shifter! And I have a power level of over 10000!
Pat: Ok. You realize its a Space Opera, and not a Soap Opera?
Tom: I'm NOT DONE YET!
Tom: And then an evil race of technology haters appear from another galaxy and I can't sense them in the force and I die
Tom: Now you can criticize you angry angry man
Pat: Hey, you die in the end, what could I possibly criticize?
Pat: I mean... that was your backstory. And you died. Before the campaign started.
Deuce Traveler
Adventurer
FalcWP said:
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