Bardsandsages
First Post
The problem with magic items in D&D is that they are designed with adventurers in mind. But let's be honest, adventurers don't BUY magic items, they kill people and monsters and take their magic items. So I would think that if you want to be a profitable magic item seller, you would cater to magical items regular people would want to buy. Consumers are more than happy to go into debt for the latest gadget. I'd suspect fantasy-consumers are the same way.
I also realized today that it has been a long time since I gave anything away for free. So I thought it would be fun to have ENWORLD members "build" a sales circular for the local Wizard's Guild promoting a Valentine's Day Sale. Come up with functional magical items that would be popular as gift items. I've started you off with some examples below. It has to be written in sales circular format. Don't just describe the item, pitch it to the customer!
The posters of the best two or three magical items will get a free PDF copy of Elemental Gemstones. Voting will be handled by my secret cabal of kobolds. This is all in good fun, but keep it (relatively) clean.
Gifts for Her
Boots of Fabulous Fashion
Give her every possible pair of shoes she could ever want, without sacrificing more closet space! These sensible looking black boots adjust their style, color, and texture to perfectly match any outfit she wears. Not only will you have one less thing to argue about, but imagine how much time you’ll save not having to wait for her to find “just the right shoes” to match her clothes!
Only 2,499 gp!
Moderate illusion; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self
Figurine of Wondrous Power, Housekeeper
When this porcelain statuette is placed near a mop or broom and the command word spoken, it transforms into a housekeeper to handle all of the chores around the house for 8 hours! She’ll cook, clean, and even do the windows! Best of all, you won’t have to worry about checking her immigration status!
Yours for only 9,999 gp!
Moderate transmutation; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects
Godal’s Guilt-Free Chocolates
This delectable box of 36 luscious chocolates is more than just a tasty treat she’ll love. This gift won’t go straight to her hips. In fact, it will give her the hips she wants! Each candy will have the same affect as a twenty-minute workout…without the sweat, pain, and angst! Give her a gift she will love, and help her fit into her favorite jeans again, at the same time! 2 lbs.
Only 729 gp! That’s less than the price of the Cure Serious Wounds potion you’ll need when she finds out you missed this deal!
Moderate Transmutation; CL 9; Craft Wondrous Item, Create Food and Water, Remove Curse
Drada Designer Purse of Holding
It’s the perfect purse. Tiny, trendy, and holds one hundred pounds of stuff! She’ll have plenty of space for all of her hairbrushes, lipstick, perfume, notebooks, receipts, photo albums, cell phone, and everything else she needs to carry with her for a trip to the store or anywhere else. What’s more, when she reaches in to find something, the item she wants will always be right on top! No more standing around holding embarrassing feminine items for her while she pulls everything out looking for loose change.
Only 2,299 gp
Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, secret chest.
Veronica’s Secret Glamered Pajamas
The key to a happy relationship? Giving her what she wants while getting what you want. She’ll think you are a sensitive guy when she opens this gift. She’ll see a comfy set of pajamas featuring her favorite kittens, puppies, or cartoon characters. She’ll think you really DO pay attention to her likes. But when she tries it on, you’ll see her in the lingerie you always wanted her to wear! It’s a present you both will enjoy!
Get it now for only 2,499 gp!
Moderate illusion; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self, silent image
Gifts for Him
Cooler of Endless Beverages
Your man will be the king of every tailgate party with this gift that keeps on giving! Once a week, just fill this sturdy red cooler with ice and his favorite adult beverage. Whenever he takes a can or bottle out of the cooler, it replenishes itself until all of the ice melts.
Get it now for only 6,899 gp
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, bless, control water
Watch of Faithfulness
This stylish gold watch has a small picture frame on the reverse side that can hold a tiny photo of you. When your man wears this watch, he becomes immediately aware of any action or comment on his part that can impact your relationship with him. He’ll know immediately if the words about to come out of his mouth will lead to a fight, and what will happen if he gets home late from hanging out with the guys. Reduce arguments and stress for both of you!
A gift you can both appreciate! Only 1,299 gp!
Faint divination; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, detect law
Ring of Scank Turning
Protect your man from the temptations of unclean women with this chic, sophisticated ring. Any woman that approaches your man will have to make a Will Save (DC 30) to hit on him.
Save your relationship! Only 8,999 gp!
Moderate necromancy [good]; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, 10th-level cleric, Improved Turning
P.S. This is the sort of stuff that happens on Fridays when I get exceedingly bored at work and there is nothing to do but wait for 5 o'clock to roll around so I can go home.
I also realized today that it has been a long time since I gave anything away for free. So I thought it would be fun to have ENWORLD members "build" a sales circular for the local Wizard's Guild promoting a Valentine's Day Sale. Come up with functional magical items that would be popular as gift items. I've started you off with some examples below. It has to be written in sales circular format. Don't just describe the item, pitch it to the customer!
The posters of the best two or three magical items will get a free PDF copy of Elemental Gemstones. Voting will be handled by my secret cabal of kobolds. This is all in good fun, but keep it (relatively) clean.
Gifts for Her
Boots of Fabulous Fashion
Give her every possible pair of shoes she could ever want, without sacrificing more closet space! These sensible looking black boots adjust their style, color, and texture to perfectly match any outfit she wears. Not only will you have one less thing to argue about, but imagine how much time you’ll save not having to wait for her to find “just the right shoes” to match her clothes!
Only 2,499 gp!
Moderate illusion; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self
Figurine of Wondrous Power, Housekeeper
When this porcelain statuette is placed near a mop or broom and the command word spoken, it transforms into a housekeeper to handle all of the chores around the house for 8 hours! She’ll cook, clean, and even do the windows! Best of all, you won’t have to worry about checking her immigration status!
Yours for only 9,999 gp!
Moderate transmutation; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, animate objects
Godal’s Guilt-Free Chocolates
This delectable box of 36 luscious chocolates is more than just a tasty treat she’ll love. This gift won’t go straight to her hips. In fact, it will give her the hips she wants! Each candy will have the same affect as a twenty-minute workout…without the sweat, pain, and angst! Give her a gift she will love, and help her fit into her favorite jeans again, at the same time! 2 lbs.
Only 729 gp! That’s less than the price of the Cure Serious Wounds potion you’ll need when she finds out you missed this deal!
Moderate Transmutation; CL 9; Craft Wondrous Item, Create Food and Water, Remove Curse
Drada Designer Purse of Holding
It’s the perfect purse. Tiny, trendy, and holds one hundred pounds of stuff! She’ll have plenty of space for all of her hairbrushes, lipstick, perfume, notebooks, receipts, photo albums, cell phone, and everything else she needs to carry with her for a trip to the store or anywhere else. What’s more, when she reaches in to find something, the item she wants will always be right on top! No more standing around holding embarrassing feminine items for her while she pulls everything out looking for loose change.
Only 2,299 gp
Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, secret chest.
Veronica’s Secret Glamered Pajamas
The key to a happy relationship? Giving her what she wants while getting what you want. She’ll think you are a sensitive guy when she opens this gift. She’ll see a comfy set of pajamas featuring her favorite kittens, puppies, or cartoon characters. She’ll think you really DO pay attention to her likes. But when she tries it on, you’ll see her in the lingerie you always wanted her to wear! It’s a present you both will enjoy!
Get it now for only 2,499 gp!
Moderate illusion; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, disguise self, silent image
Gifts for Him
Cooler of Endless Beverages
Your man will be the king of every tailgate party with this gift that keeps on giving! Once a week, just fill this sturdy red cooler with ice and his favorite adult beverage. Whenever he takes a can or bottle out of the cooler, it replenishes itself until all of the ice melts.
Get it now for only 6,899 gp
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, bless, control water
Watch of Faithfulness
This stylish gold watch has a small picture frame on the reverse side that can hold a tiny photo of you. When your man wears this watch, he becomes immediately aware of any action or comment on his part that can impact your relationship with him. He’ll know immediately if the words about to come out of his mouth will lead to a fight, and what will happen if he gets home late from hanging out with the guys. Reduce arguments and stress for both of you!
A gift you can both appreciate! Only 1,299 gp!
Faint divination; CL 1st; Craft Wondrous Item, detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, detect law
Ring of Scank Turning
Protect your man from the temptations of unclean women with this chic, sophisticated ring. Any woman that approaches your man will have to make a Will Save (DC 30) to hit on him.
Save your relationship! Only 8,999 gp!
Moderate necromancy [good]; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, 10th-level cleric, Improved Turning
P.S. This is the sort of stuff that happens on Fridays when I get exceedingly bored at work and there is nothing to do but wait for 5 o'clock to roll around so I can go home.
