Guys playing girls (chime in, ladies)

[Piratecat]

We have always had a lot of cross-gender roleplaying in our games -- women playing men, men playing women. It's never been a big deal, because it's always been people playing people.

Fingol's joke aside, there's been some really good advice in this thread.

 

[Vlos]

I currently play a female character, a Halfling Shaman/Shapechanger that lived in the wild by herself for a long time. She is probably only the second female character I have played, so still stretching my rp muscles as well.

When someone mentioned a genderless character, she (my character) sort of popped into my head. I think I may fall into that catagory, but probably more because of her attitude. She takes a bit to warm up to people, she is very opinionated, and changes her mind about certain topics, but I feel thats more because of her upbringing, personality, than being a female.

We recently had a new player join our group and he still refers to her as a him from time to time, but slowly catching his mistakes.

We also have a muscle bound fighter that is always having women about, my character sees this as funny and sad. Funny to watch him abuse the women, but also sad that the women allow him to use him that way, but she realizes that many women need to feel loved in many a worlds where that is the only way they can get the feeling.

I'm sure I need a bit more practive in RPing a female, but hey I'm having fun.

 

[IdentityCrisis]

We have always had a lot of cross-gender roleplaying in our games -- women playing men, men playing women. It's never been a big deal, because it's always been people playing people.

Fingol's joke aside, there's been some really good advice in this thread.

Much of Fingol's advice would be inapplicable even if it wasn't a joke, as it's a PbP game anyway. But as I once played a 70 year old woman in a high-school play I actually have worn a dress and make-up before. And all I can say is that you women are nuts to put yourselves through that!

 

[IdentityCrisis]

When someone mentioned a genderless character, she (my character) sort of popped into my head.

We recently had a new player join our group and he still refers to her as a him from time to time, but slowly catching his mistakes.

That's it! I'll play Pat from Saturday Night Live!

<sings> "It's time for an-dro-ge-neee..."

 

[ledded]

Just avoid over-stereotypicism (is that even a word? ).

Works for me.

Not every female is a vamp,

And, as a male, you can play a female character who is real without being one. I once played a cleric of a sun god who was female, and she was quite martial and good in combat for a cleric, but also compassionate and quietly noble. She also portrayed just a bit of Victorian "sensibility" but without expressly passing judgement on others; she held high standards for herself, but didn't expect others to be the same. She patient with the barbarian and mildly disapproving of the thief; patience was one of her virtures but also a drive to lead and command filled her. Of course I didnt develop these traits *because* she was female; they were her character traits. The only difference between her and the same character as a male was in minor differences in how they may have reacted to certain roleplaying situations, and was really only flavor (plus the badly lilted voice I chose to speak in when I spoke "in voice"). Honestly, like others have said, it's not that huge of a difference unless you choose to make it so.

If you actually know any women, just *pay attention* to the differences in how they react to normal everyday things, and note the subtleties. It's those little details that make the difference.

not every male is a dumb musclebound barbarian

So right. Most of us are not musclebound at all.

, not every dwarf is a grumpy drunk and not ever halfling is a thief. There are some that fit the stereotypes and there are others, who do not. There is as much diversity as everywhere else.

And there is a lot of fun sometimes in playing against the stereotypes; one of the reasons I play a lot more Modern than D&D these days is that I simply got tired of feeling pushed towards a stereotype. But I did have a barbarous cleric once who rarely memorized heal spells, much less threw them; I had a half-orc sorcerer who was a trained gentlemen. One of my stoutest fighters was a halfling. All fun, but difficult at times, but that's where a lot of the fun came from.

 

[Felix]

There's one fella in a game of mine who always plays female characters. Well, not always... the only male character he will play is a male lizardman. But aside from that he will not play male characters (this is true about other games he is in as two of the other player in the group are old gaming buddies of his.)

And I always play male characters. Why? Because that's what I know. I'm male. And as much as folks in this thread have said "there's no difference twixt male and female... just play a character with motivations" (which I agree that every character should have strong well-defined motivations) I think there truly are differences between men and women in the way they approach problems.

Why do I think that? Well, before anyone calles me bigoted, it's because that has been my experience. I have known a bunch of ladies who cannot understand why men habitually do some things, and I also know a bunch of men (including myself) who find females an absolute mystery. I believe men and women think differently.

That being said, I think it's hard for a man to RP a female PC because he is not female. And hard for a female to RP a male PC because she is not male.

Can it be done? Of course.

Can it be done well? Also, of course.

It's just bloody well harder to do. And if you have a player who doesn't want the challenge, then you'll end up with a genderless PC or a male-wearing-a-female-suit.

As for making gender an issue, a once-in-a-while foray accross gender lines is not an issue. But the guy in my group makes it an issue by refusing to do otherwise. Forget calling it wrong or bad... it isn't... but what it is is grating. "Oh, another female PC beauty-queen with huge gazoongas."

So ask yourself if the guy is up for a big RP challenge. Shoot, you might want to even ask him if he is. And if you think he is, then by all means, let him take a shot at it. But if you think he's in it for the gazoongas, I advise putting the kybosh on it straight away.

 

[Prince of Happiness]

Last Sunday I ran the first session of my KoK game. One of the players is playing a female halfling rogue. I completely missed on that until I looked at the character sheet again after the game. There wasn't much to really tip me off that the character was female in game. Now as a DM I'm going to have to go through some extra effort to remind myself that yes, tall balding man is playing a very short woman, not man.

 

[ledded]

I read the first few of those, though it's been a long time. I have to admit I found the female characters to be extremely grating.

Understandable, though with Aes Sedai that is kind of the point.

While I admit that those women showed no shortage of courage and ability, I recall nearly every last one of them treating men as universally being childish, incompetant jerks.

And that is wrong because...?

you're obviously not married, are you? D again, just kidding)

I like emotionally and intellectually strong women, but Robert Jordan seems to equate being a strong woman (or maybe just a woman period) with being a sexist bitch.

Not very inspiring to me.

Well, IMO I think it's because, for those books, you are taking their attitude out of context a little. It's predominantly the Aes Sedai who maintain a very haughty and superior attitude, and in that world many of them have very good reason to in their minds (thier position in a predominantly male-dominated society, working with rulers and military men they find resorting to bluster and violence before exhausting diplomacy, having to deal with their sorcerous counterparts in the manner they do, etc). Some of the other female characters, while being strong and independent and often frustrated by the men, are a good bit different. But I do understand your reaction. I always felt too that he is trying to slowly show how divisiveness between the sexes is at the heart of the problem in fighting the Shadow, and all that, so there may be more background to the Aes Sedai attitude than just 'powerful women in his books are way too catty'.

 

[Balsamic Dragon]

Here are some roleplaying exercises to help you get into a female mind-set preparatory to playing a female character. Note that you should first have a good idea of who your character is, their background, etc...

1. As a woman, you would be likely to seek out a female role model growing up. Who was that person? Was it your mother? Another woman from the community? Some heroine that you never actually met but only heard stories about? How did that person impact your life?

2. Young girls tend, as a general rule, to play with other girls, rather than boys. Was this your experience? If it was, what did you think about the boys at that time? What were your favorite memories of time spent with the girls of your community? If this was not your experience, did others think of you as a tomboy? What did you learn from playing with the boys? What did other girls in the community think about you?

3. Puberty is an important time in a girl's life. It can be embarrassing to go through the physical changes of puberty and not realize what your body is doing. At the same time, you begin to fully realize the responsibilities of being an adult, including the ability to create new life, to have children. How did your character change going through her teenage years? How did she take on or avoid that new sense of responsibility?

4. Being a part of the community, you saw many other women around you leading normal lives, not the life of an adventurer. They had their own home and place in the community. They may have married and had children. They may have followed a trade, or been farmers or merchants. Do you feel like you are missing out on some of these things by pursuing a different path? What do you feel like you have gained instead?

5. Love is a big part of who were are. Have you ever been in love? Would your character ever consider marriage? What kind of guy (or girl!) are you looking for in a relationship? Would you ever consider having children? If so, what would you hope for them?

6. Your society may treat men and women very differently, presenting them with different career choices, and holding them to different standards of behavior. Do you agree with this? Does your character attempt to conform to these rules, or does she rebel against them? Does your character think about what others would say before taking a particular course of action that might be perceived as too masculine?

----

Now, for women who are playing male characters, take the same questions above and change the pronouns to masculine We really aren't as different as you may think, it's just the way you look at things.

Balsamic Dragon

 

[vulcan_idic]

I have known a bunch of ladies who cannot understand why men habitually do some things, and I also know a bunch of men (including myself) who find females an absolute mystery. I believe men and women think differently.

I used to think this as well. Since then, as I have tried to explore this difference - through roleplay, but moreover by long involved conversations with a lot of women I have known through the years and reading studies done on gender, gender identity, "third genders" (such as the berdache in some native american cultures), hermaphroditism, and so forth - I have come to the further conclusion that the perception of the other gender as a mystery comes largely from the suggestion that this is so as many of us are growing up rather than any actual basis in fact. As an article I recently read on a psycho/neurological topic put it, "Individual variations within any given group of people far outweigh any inherent difference between any two such groups"... Once I overcame my own convictioni that "There must be a fundamental difference if only I can find it..." and really looked at evidence and listened to what people were saying, I came to the realization that there was no real difference, but that thinking made it so. Having assumed there was a difference I had quickly accumulated anecdotal and stereotypical evidence that it was so while ignoring evidence to the contrary. Upon reexamination of all the evidence I came to a different conclusion.

But, that said, I won't say that it is impossible that there is such difference that my dataset is still too limited to uncover - I've altered my conclusions based on reexamination of all available evidence once, it is entirely within the realm of possibility that it will happen again. But, to date, this is what I have found.