THe most important thing is to work this out with your players. Sit down with them, buy a pizza, and brainstorm together. It sounds as if you are already at an impasse that could threaten your enjoyment or that of your players. So, have a detente.
The earlier suggestion about the "3E basics" is a VERY good place to start from. Back in 1999, about august or september, when Dragon Magazine was doing the 3E countdown, there was a list of "10 things you can do to play 3E right now!" This would be a great thing to start with. In fact, if someone has the basics of this article available, and could post it here, I would appreciate it to accentuate my point.
Among the alterations that I can remember were:
- Use attack bonus instead of THACO.
- Use AC that goes up.
- Use spontaneous healing for clerics - change the spell into (spell level)d8's of healing.
- Use the death at -10 rule instead of 0 = dead.
Start from there, and work with your players to find out how much 1st edition they can stand, and simply 1st edition with what you know about 3rd edition.
OR,
One radical suggestion is to alternate campaigns, if you are not doing so now. Let someone else in the group take the DM'ing reins, and swith between your 3E campaign and another campaign. I guarantee it makes the Book-work a lot easier, as well as the stress relief. Even if you don't think you need it, it can still be a great help. Have you played enough yourself to appreciate the newfound powers that 3E gives the players? Perhaps there is a reason besides "just powergaming" that they like what 3E does for them?