Have you ever gotten into a fight on game night?

[Moe Ronalds]

One time I was playing a vampire LARP and I got TOTALLY pissed at this one guy so I pushed him down the stairs for being a jerk.

(Note: This joke would work better if I weren't male. )

 

[the Jester]

This one time we were getting set to game. One of the players had just spent HOURS recopying his character sheet (it was like, 16 pages long or something). Well, we had barely gotten started when he accidentally knocked his water over onto another player's character sheet. The other player, in a fit of pique, knocked HIS glass of water onto the 16-page newly copies character sheet... and the player of that character leapt up and swung, smacking the other guy in the side of the head and bloodying his ear!

Since the both of them lived in the house we were playing at, the game pretty much ended at that point, and the guy who got hit and another of the players who lived there too (not mr. 16 pages) moved out the next day.

 

[Wikidogre]

It was 1997, playing FR, thier was this one guy (friend of a friend), who was the most complete F***head on planet earth. He had some better all the time, he was also the one who mysteriously had more exp all the time. Well one night he was playing a Loup-garu(whatever), and my girlfriend at the time was playing a female ninja. Well the entire time we had gamed these 2 had gone at it, i used to joke with her all the time that he wanted to do naughty things to her, and her response was always dear god no! So this night it started right off the bat, he would periodicaly threaten her, and taunt her, until finally she said F*** It, I am attacking him, His eyes lit up, he started talking smack, and the Dm(me) laughed and said roll initiative, ok, well she won, and he bitched, needless to say they where all about 12th level, and she got extra attacks, so she hit with everyone (natural 20's), and little did he know, she had a Sunblade Katana, something she stole from him in early adventures, by tricking him into thinking it was useless. Well she rolled double his Hp's in damage! Then the room errupted in laughter! well he did not take it well, started to cry, got up, ripped his character sheet, called her a Bitch, and slapped her across her face!! Well b4 anyone else could step in she punted his testicles to venus, and then did a raising knee strike to the jaw as he was falling!! Well we called his parent because he could not walk, explained the situation, and he apparently got his ass beat again by his mother!!

 

[tburdett]

We used to play Star Fleet Battles when we wanted to take a break from role-playing. One of the players, Scott, was a liar and a cheat. We put up with him because he was our hosts best friend from high school.

After catching him cheating for the third time that day we told him to take a break and go play Genesis or something. He used some foul language towards us and started to throw a fit.

Then he grabbed one of my books and, in doing so, ripped a page out. I took the book away from him and told him to go chill out. He pushed me.

As soon as he did this he realized that it was a bad idea. I'm quite a bit bigger than he was and didn't like being pushed at. I looked over at our host, Darren, and was surprised to hear him say, "You gotta do whatcha gotta do."

I used only as much force as I felt was necessary to let Scott know that I didn't appreciate him pushing me or damaging my property. I also fully compensated Darren for the damage to his fishtank, the Scott's head sized hole in his wall, and the broken kitchen chair.

Scott never showed up to game when we were there again.

 

[Drakmar]

I was playing Shadowrun once, with a new dm.. now.. His idea and my idea of why you roleplay was different.. I believe that it is for fun.. and I don't enjoy having my characters die.. just so that I can learn the rules.. he believed that if you didn't understand that certain things have certain ramifications in the world then you will have your character killed by those things.. you learn your lesson..and create a new character. Now.. I was playing a completely non-min-maxed character.. and well.. he got killed because in a DM Setup.. you know.. a situation that you can't get out of.. that you can't even run from. Well.. we started arguing.. and a mate of mine was there watching it.. Now.. I am not a small man.. he was. All I was doing was scowling.. with my arms crossed and arguing with him. He was backing up against a wall sweating profusly and looking like he was about to bolt. My mate said that he had never seen anybody look that scared (and that he had never seen me that angry) All in all, once I calmed down, (I was never going to resort to violence - I was just furious with the tosser)... I just plain never roleplayed with this guy again.

 

[Volaran]

Not my own story, but one I love to pieces.

A friend of mine and his brother were attending one of their regular cons during the first year when there was an organized Vampire LARP going on as part of the event.

The LARPers hadn't yet gotten used to working around other con goers. They were being obstructive, rude, ect. and really ruining it for a lot of con goers.

So, my friend and his brother were headed to one of the con suites. When the arrived, a LARPer had his hands crossed over his chest and was completely blocking the door, listening to something inside.

My friend was about to tap the LARPer on the shoulder, when his brother motioned him to stop, reached around the LARPer, and pulled the door back, slamming the poor guy to the floor.

The LARPer looked up at him, confused and angry. My friend's brother marshalled all the sympathy he could into his voice and said.

"I'm sorry man. I didn't see you there."

 

[Wikidogre]

Not my own story, but one I love to pieces.

A friend of mine and his brother were attending one of their regular cons during the first year when there was an organized Vampire LARP going on as part of the event.

The LARPers hadn't yet gotten used to working around other con goers. They were being obstructive, rude, ect. and really ruining it for a lot of con goers.

So, my friend and his brother were headed to one of the con suites. When the arrived, a LARPer had his hands crossed over his chest and was completely blocking the door, listening to something inside.

My friend was about to tap the LARPer on the shoulder, when his brother motioned him to stop, reached around the LARPer, and pulled the door back, slamming the poor guy to the floor.

The LARPer looked up at him, confused and angry. My friend's brother marshalled all the sympathy he could into his voice and said.

"I'm sorry man. I didn't see you there."

**This is classic!!! i love it i have tears, i envisioned it!!

 

[Sagiro]

One time when we had just made the switch from 2E to 3E, Piratecat and I got into a heated debate over whether certain spells should go from being 1 round/level to 1 minute/level, since rounds changed from a minute to 6 seconds. We argued for a while, and one thing led to another... I ended up pulling a trophy dagger off the wall (that he had won for some RPGA judging thing) and sunk it about three inches into his thigh.

I felt really bad about it right afterward... 'cause Piratecat is a martial artist. The next thing I knew he had me in some kind of weird armlock, and there was a gross popping noise as he dislocated my left shoulder. The other players scrambled for the exits at that point.

At least I was right handed. I scrabbled around for a pencil and managed to jam it into his eyebrow, which made him release his arm lock. While he was wiping the blood out of his eye I tried to kick him in the groin, but he's a wily bugger. He dodged out of the way and used another sneaky martial-arts trick to get me in a headlock with one arm, and then started shoving d4s into my mouth.

Good thing for me I hadn't let go of the pencil. I stabbed him in the buttocks and he quit it with the plastic caltrops. I rolled away, and we squared off across the gaming table, grinning maniacally at each other.

"Give up," I said. "It's a minute per level."

"Not in this lifetime," he said.

I thought I had the advantage at that point, since I'm faster than Piratecat. But then he lunged over the table at me. I did manage to stick the pencil into the webbing by his left thumb, but he disarmed me and started beating me silly with an AD&D DM's Guide that been shaken loose from his shelf. Before I blacked out I had kicked him pretty good in the ankles and knees a few times, but eventually I couldn't take the pain of a shattered elbow along with my dislocated shoulder.

The nice thing was, his wife KidCthulhu drove us both to Mt. Auburn Hospital that night. Piratecat had an eyepatch for a while -- turns out I had got him lower than I thought with the pencil -- and needed some stitches for his leg. I couldn't play basketball for three months, plus they had to cut me open to get one of the d4's out of my stomach (which I had inadvertantly swallowed) before I passed it. (Ouch!) But we both healed up just fine by Christmas.

We still have a good laugh about that one, from time to time.

-Sagiro

 

[Teflon Billy]

One time I was playing a vampire LARP and I got TOTALLY pissed at this one guy so I pushed him down the stairs for being a jerk.

(Note: This joke would work better if I weren't male. )

Moe Ronalds=Hot

 

[hong]

One time when we had just made the switch from 2E to 3E, Piratecat and I got into a heated debate over whether certain spells should go from being 1 round/level to 1 minute/level, since rounds changed from a minute to 6 seconds.

Idiot. Everyone knows that a round is 3 minutes, or six hectares in the metric system. This is why it's known as a "New York minute".

We argued for a while, and one thing led to another... I ended up pulling a trophy dagger off the wall (that he had won for some RPGA judging thing)

So, is it like, called a trophy, because you get it for KILLING PLAYERS? Because it sure sounds like it to me!

I felt really bad about it right afterward... 'cause Piratecat is a martial artist.

HAW HAW! Piratecat is a ninja!

At least I was right handed. I scrabbled around for a pencil and managed to jam it into his eyebrow, which made him release his arm lock. While he was wiping the blood out of his eye I tried to kick him in the groin, but he's a wily bugger. He dodged out of the way and used another sneaky martial-arts trick to get me in a headlock with one arm, and then started shoving d4s into my mouth.

Here we go with the shuriken!!1!! More proof that "Piratecat", as if that his his REAL NAME, is really Ninjacat!!!!1

Good thing for me I hadn't let go of the pencil. I stabbed him in the buttocks and he quit it with the plastic caltrops.

What an ignominious place to get penetrated by someone's pencil. If you know what I mean, and I think you do.

I rolled away, and we squared off across the gaming table, grinning maniacally at each other.

Obviously, everything up to this point was just an elaborate troll.

"Give up," I said. "It's a minute per level."

"Not in this lifetime," he said.

D00d, if your DM starts talking about this lifetime, it's time to start planning your NEXT lifetime.

I thought I had the advantage at that point, since I'm faster than Piratecat.

Six-speed, 500 horsepower Sagiro SUV, on nitrous.

But then he lunged over the table at me. I did manage to stick the pencil into the webbing by his left thumb, but he disarmed me and started beating me silly with an AD&D DM's Guide that been shaken loose from his shelf.

Beaten to death by Gary Gygax's prose. How much of that damage was caused by the wandering harlot table, I want to know.

Before I blacked out I had kicked him pretty good in the ankles and knees a few times, but eventually I couldn't take the pain of a shattered elbow along with my dislocated shoulder.

The nice thing was, his wife KidCthulhu drove us both to Mt. Auburn Hospital that night.

You stupid troll. Everyone knows that KidCthulhu is Piratecat's husband. This is because KidCthulhu's real name is Kevin Kulp, and Piratecat is Peggy O'Connell, as might be guessed from the initials.

Piratecat had an eyepatch for a while -- turns out I had got him lower than I thought with the pencil -- and needed some stitches for his leg.

Darn, the least you could have done was cut it off.