Help--Dysfunctional Party

Somebody mentioned they would be interested in perspectives other than Carebear's; while most of the players don't have Internet access, I'll try to present an objective analysis of each person involved (based on observed in-character and out-of-character behavior).

DM: Very long-term gamer (from at least original Chainmail on). Has just under half a year's experience with 3E, but has thoroughly read the rulebooks and is very open to comments from players more familiar with the ruleset. Has chosen to run a highly-customized version of Necromancer Games' Crucible of Freya, set on the trade road between the Sea of Fallen Stars and Westgate in the Forgotten Realms. He is frustrated because of the party's lack of cohesion and lack of tactics--the orcs in the keep are on alert, have posted sentries to alert them to the party's approaches, and the party has not responded in any fashion other than three frontal assaults (one of which was stopped away from the keep due to an orc ambush). His contribution to the problem is in not modifying the campaign to accomodate the apparent desires of the straight-up go-kill-monsters hack and slashers in the party.

Bucky (the halfling pirate): Again, a long-term gamer, having played 1E, 2E (with and without PO series), Basic D&D, 3E, 3.5E, and several non-D&D game systems. Has been playing 3E since the month the PHB was released, and has the group's most thorough grasp of the rules' intricacies due to his analytical nature (a music theorist who enjoys computer programming). Due to his analytical nature, he is very big on strategic analysis of the situation and a smart tactical approach to combat situations. He also has a highly creative personality (a -music- theorist who enjoys acting and writing), and thus is a strong roleplayer. As he is playing a low charisma character for the first time (and enjoying almost every minute of it), this has resulted in some ticked off characters and maybe some players taking it personally as well. He has, however, recognized the need for party harmony from the third night of the campaign (the rescue of the Crucible from the orc raiding party) and has been trying (without breaking character) to make some friendships and be a little less abrasive. So far, his attempts have been rebuffed, proving the adage that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. As a frequent DM himself, his play style is to adapt to and deal with the situation that the DM has prepared and is presenting, rather than have the DM alter the campaign to fit the players' desires. He is frustrated because the party is either not showing any interest in strategic or tactical planning, or not showing any interest in the campaign which the DM has prepared, which leaves him the choice of either putting his new favorite character's life in jeopardy or abandoning the party (so far, he has chosen to go along with the party, though picking his own moments to attack and to retreat). His contribution to the problem is in being too enthusiastic about playing an arrogant character, being a little bit too independent and uncooperative with plans which he considers to be bad ideas, and perhaps also in knowing the rules so much better than the other players (resulting in his character's above-party-average success in combat).

Carebear's elven bard (sorry, can't remember the character's name): Probably the least-experienced player in the group, having begun gaming via Call of Cthulhu the summer before 3E came out, and then playing 3E (and 3.5E) ever since. Is a very accomodating player who is generally happy to go along with whatever the party wants to do. Is actively working to expand her roleplaying experience, and is now playing a bard and a chaotic neutral character for the first time. Does have a tendency, which she has been working hard at overcoming, to take in-game problems (whether bad luck or, now, party incohesion) personally. She is frustrated because she is used to following along with the party's general decisions, but is now in a situation where the party's general decisions are to run in and hack-and-slash, and after the first couple of times this failed to work she wishes to try something else (it is very likely her change in mindset came about after hearing her tactician husband vent). Her contribution to the problem is in, after having been solidly on the frontal assault team of players for the first few sessions, suddenly changing her mind and taking her husband's side of the tactics vs. bash-in-the-door debate, which has possibly turned the problem from that of differing playing styles to that of opposing husband-and-wife teams; this contribution is heightened by an ill-timed decision to retreat and abandon the party to their fate, resulting in the reaction of the elven sorceress to jump down into the keep's courtyard in a kamikaze charge.

Monkey (the bastard-sword-wielding human monk, again not his character's real name, but everyone calls him Monkey): Another long-term gamer who has gamed with the DM for years. This is his first experience with 3E rules, so he frequently forgets about his monk's special abilities (especially stunning blow, which he has yet to use). He is a quiet player prone to drowsing off when there isn't much action happening in the game. Like Carebear, he generally prefers to go with the flow; the chief difference between him and Carebear is that he has shown a preference for the head-on, hack-and-slash approach. He hasn't shown much frustration, and similarly has not really contributed to the problem either.

The cleric: A frequent rules lawyer that, unfortunately, doesn't really know the rules very well, resulting in his influencing the DM to make some poor judgment calls. He has only actually shown up twice, and only once since the party began the Crucible of Freya adventure (he was there for the initial orc raid and first frontal assault on the keep). Plays his character as even more arrogant than the halfling pirate, but shows a marked preference for hack-and-slash combat, wielding a greatsword and refusing to carry a missile weapon. In the player's absence, the DM plays the character as even more arrogant than the player does, and also has him make blatantly random and stupid combat maneuvers (each time claiming that's how the player would play the character). The player has not actually been to gaming enough to either be frustrated or to have contributed to the problem.

Ilisar (dwarven barbarian): Unsure exactly how much gaming experience she has, but she at least has played a fair amount of 2E and has gamed a fair amount with the monk and the DM, though this is her first 3E game (she has yet to use her rage ability, for example). Married the player of the elven sorceress not very long before the current campaign began. Whether it's the personality of the dwarf, or the gaming style of the player, she has been the chief instigator of the "let's go kill some orcs" approach to the situation, even going so far as to declare that her character leaves the party and heads off up the road to the keep while the other players are still trying to discuss possible plans; every time she has done this, every character except the pirate has immediately joined her, and, rather than be completely left out of the game for the night, the halfling reluctantly ends up tagging along. The player has had mostly bad luck in combat with the dice, managing to damage an orc once, but ended up nearly bleeding to death in the ambush (the halfling tumbled past the dual-bladed-sword-wielding big bad orc to use a cure moderate wounds potion to save her life), and getting killed last night by the third-level orc barbarian she charged. She decided her dwarf did not want to be raised, and also didn't feel like rolling up another character last night. The rest of the players all like her a lot outside of the game, and are hoping, after giving her a couple of days to cool down, to persuade her to give the group another chance. She is frustrated because she apparently enjoys a very straightforward hack-and-slash style of play, and the current campaign situtation makes that a style almost guaranteed to fail (and the halfling being the one to point this fact out isn't helping matters). Her contribution to the problem is being completely unwilling to listen to any of the other players, even going so far as to just take off while they're discussing ideas, and possibly taking in-game situations personally (like Carebear tends to do).

Finally, Mira (the elven sorceress): Again unsure exactly how much gaming experience he has, but he, like the dwarf, at least has played 2E and has played with the monk and current DM before; also like the dwarf, this is his first time playing 3E. Married the player of the dwarf shortly before the campaign began. He has not been a particularly vocal player when discussing plans, tending to go along with the dwarf's suggestions, but does show a marked tendency to hack-and-slash; the sorceress has, so far, mostly charged in to battle wielding her magical longsword (or used the mighty composite shortbow +2 she has), and has only cast a single true strike and one sleep spell in the entire campaign. After his wife's dwarf died and Carebear's bard retreated last night, he got upset and kamikazed his elven sorceress, who was subsequently knocked unconscious and captured by the orcs. Again, the rest of the group like this player, and are hoping he'll give the game another chance--it will likely ultimately rest on what his wife decides. He is frustrated largely because his wife is upset and because the hack-and-slash approach they seem to prefer is not working, although he has apparently taken it personally when neither the halfling pirate nor the elven bard show a willingness to risk glorious death with the rest of the party. His contribution to the problem largely lies in consistently refusing to listen to anybody in the party but the dwarf and in taking things too personally (a characteristic that the DM says he has shown before).

So there's as clear an analysis as I can present with my current knowledge of the situation. As mentioned, the majority of the group really would like to iron out the problems and stay together. It seems that one of three things will need to happen to resolve the current conflict, though: 1. the DM modifies the campaign to a more hack-and-slash orientation, which the pirate and bard would be willing to adapt to; 2. the dwarf and sorceress adapt their playing style to accomodate the DM's tactical situation, actually trusting the halfling for once (it seems they instinctively distrust him for the sole reason that he is, in 2E terms, a "thief); or 3. the die-hard hack-and-slash husband and wife team leaves the group and is replaced by other players (although nobody will be happy with this last possibility). If any of you have other possible solutions, Carebear would love to hear them.

Edit: Fixed line formatting caused by cut-and-paste from text editor
 
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Elf Witch said:
I have a few things I would like to add first of all it is not wrong to run if that is your character's personality and it sounds like it is. But and it is a big but this can often cause hard feelings with both the other characters and their players. Especially when someone dies. If it is the players who are upset then there is not much you can do but let roll of your back and try to explain that it was a role playing decision. In game it is another matter characters who run even if justified get branded coward. Don't be surprised if your character is not trusted and you have to overcome the coward brand. Which in itself can be great fun with a lot of role playing.

I think the problem is a player thing in your group. Sometimes it does not work to have couples play at the same table. Becasue sitting where I am I have to wonder if it is a us against them. You say that Bucky has the best tatics and the others should trust him more your character does. I am not saying that this is not true but I do have to wonder how much of this is being colored by the fact that he is your husband.

It is very possiable that the other couple feels this way too. You and your husband talk after the game and I am sure they do to and they me feel that you are wrong and that your character is only supporting Bucky because he is your husband.

It would really help if you all sat down and talked. I also wish the others could post their views because I have found that there is usually two sides to a problem.


That is true, though last night I admit now that I could have at least stuck around for longer & maybe made sure that each character had a way to escape be it by help from another party member or if they could on their own. That for me was just an inexperienced player split second decision & I am totally willing to admit when I make the wrong decision.

That is also true, though my characters feeling is that she would rather be a coward & still live than be corageous & dead. After all, who would tell the tales if I am dead?

That could possibly be somewhat true. I do try not to think of him as a husband when I am playing though. We have even played characters in a campaign before where my character hated his. I am just trying to base it on the facts. Bucky has been suggesting a non-frontal assault on the keep for a while & I am realizing after the first time that our first attempt at a full on hack & slash assault didn't work at all, which Bucky had tried to explain that it wouldn't work very well from the begining. My bard knows absolutely little to nothing about tactics & is always open to suggestions, but my character is getting tired of getting close to a total party death each time we attack. It is obvious to the bard that the tactics which we have been using, none at the moment, have not been working for us at all, as shown by this last session.

My character may not like Bucky's personality at all, but has seen with experience that he does have great ideas for tactics in general, so tends to ask him his ideas for tactics. I have considered presenting them in a different way because it is obvious that the party doesn't trust Bucky simply because he is a rogue & it is obvious that he is, which is totally unfair. He has done nothing to make the party not trust him. He hasn't stolen from the party or done anything to harm any member of the party. He has even tried to reconsile with some of the party members & they refuse to listen to him at all. Bucky is a shifty character, but doesn't mean that he cannot be trusted at all. He has done nothing to make me think he is not trustworthy, in fact, he has stuck around to help out the party when he really didn't need to do it.

My husband put up his view, which is I admit much more objective than mine is. As a player, he is great at not putting any of his personal feelings into his character. This has been noticed by many more players than myself, so I am sure that this is not just me being bias on that part.

We will sit down & have a talk with the rest of the group next week hopefully before we start, but me & my husband, since we game at our place, sat down afterwards last night & spoke with the DM about our concerns. He agreed to try & talk to the other couple before next week & maybe see if they would be willing to give the group another chance to work things out as a party.

I know we just need to come together more as a party & pool all our idea's together, then maybe come up with a compromise that will work great for everyone in the party. I think it will help, if the other couple gives us another chance, to just get used to eachother more since the fact is that this is the first time we have played together & this is also the first time in a long time that I have played with a party that totally doesn't get along & doesn't listen to eachother.

Thanks again for all the advice. I will talk to my husband about it tonight & maybe see if he agree's that maybe I am kinda bias when playing with him & his characters.
 

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Demmero said:
Sounds to me like your group has a potentially lethal mix of role-players and roll-players (more into the hack-n-slash aspect of the game). STAND YOUR GROUND! You and your hubby seem to have a good grasp on the roles of your characters, and seem willing to get involved in the dice-rolling/combat aspect of it as well--IF some semblance of tactics is employed by the group. You are both being true to your characters and willing to work within the larger group as a whole. Bravo to you!

The other players seem to be more into the combat part of the game. They rush in with no thought to tactics, just some mad bloodlust. Fine; that's their prerogative. Unlike you and your husband, however, they show no sign of bending in the least for the good of the party as a whole. That's their loss.

A bard and a swashbuckler are not made to survive no-tactics, straight-ahead, kick-down-the-door types of combat. It's wrong for the other players to assume that you'll be with them in the front lines if that's the way they're going to act all the time. (I'm surprised the elf sorceress isn't dead already if she's not picking her spots in combat). They have absolutely no right to expect you and your hubby to risk your characters in a type of encounter that they're not built to survive.

As for the players who gave you a hard time about running when things started to look bad...ask them a question yourself. Ask them what they expected your character to do. I can't think of a single answer they might give that you couldn't refute quickly and easily. If they say they expect you to stand, fight, and possibly die with them reply that such an expectation would be more reasonable if they entered combat using some tactics that would give your PC a reasonable chance of walking away alive afterwards.

Putting myself in their shoes, I wouldn't like having a party member who ran away at the first sign of trouble. But then again, I realize the value of tactics and teamworks and wouldn't be as foolish and bull-headed as they're being. It looks like there's gonna have to be some give-and-take if your party is to ever become a cohesive unit; but I think you and your hubby have been the more giving of the two sides to this point. It's time for the other players to bring something to the table.


Thanks, that comment helped a lot. I do admit now that I think about it later on, I was pretty premature in runninng away. If my character would have stuck around for at least a bit more time, I would have realized that there were technically only a hobgoblin & his NPC big wolf that were attacking the one person in the party. I realize that I could have at least stuck around long enough to make sure that everyone had a way of escaping before I took off. That is kinda my inexperience showing, not wanting to get killed at all.

It is true, the bard & the swashbuckler were not made well for combat situations & the swashbuckler did what he could. He did a sneak attack on one or two before they blew the horn for backup. He didn't even need to be there. He had told the group out loud that he would not go in for another hand to hand combat thing where there was a good possibility that he would die. He ended up following the party anyways to help out. I think with the sorceress last night it was kinda a komakozie act. Like she was saying, fine if your going to run I'll just stay here & get myself killed. During this entire campaign she has only cast her True Strike spell once or twice & maybe only one or two Sleeps, that is it for the spells. She has done more like the hand to hand combat stuff, which is very likely to get someone like that killed really easily.

I agree as far as the give & take. Especially from the beginning, the party automatically for some reason distrusts the swashbuckler simply because it is obvious he is some type of rogue, though he has done absolutely nothing to loose the party's trust in him. He doesn't steal from them even once & more than once he has helped save the party's butt. He especially has been more flexible & has even tried in character to reconsile with the other party members, but they still distrust & don't listen to him. Nothing of a personal nature for him being my husband totally in character, my bard sees that the way we have been going about infaltrating the keep doesn't really work at all whatsoever. The rogue has suggested some really good sounding ideas to the party, but they totally refuse to accept them. Unfortunatly it had to take one players death & the other capture, but I think they are finally realizing that they cannot go about doing things the way we have been in the past. I think they will be more willing to listen & plan things out more in the future. I do like the couple that are playing as people, so I really don't want to see them leave. I am just hoping that they will give this game another chance.

Thanks again for all the advice. It has really helped me to begin to understand things better & begin to become a better gammer for it.
 

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