Help! I suck at descriptions!

[Henry]

I'm sorta with Warrior Poet on this. Active description all the time can turn people off, because they don't know what to look for if they're assaulted with information. However, remember that (1) smells are the most evocative sensory info in real life, and (2) remember what smells people HAVE likely smelled. No sense saying, "A scent of rosemary mixed with ambergris assaults you." Better to recall rotting meat or fish, sewage, roses or just a flowery scent, wood alcohol, fresh bread, damp mold/rotting wood, burning metal, etc.

If you are describing a scene, take a second to put yourself there metally, and then tell them about pieces of it as you go. It will make your descriptions more natural and less flowery than reading a bunch of prewritten text.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Don't forget to sterotype your description, a sewer is a sewer no matter where the sewer is, same with taverns, the poor side of town, etc. Re-use your descriptions.

Why whould you do the work, give your players home work! Ask them to provide 10 to 20 words to describe something like a mountain spring, the enterance to a mine, a living cave, a waterfall, etc. After a while you will have quite the list of words on hand.

 

[mmadsen]

When I'm writing an adventure outline I have all kinds of ideas pop into my head, but I either think "nah, that's too wordy" or I think I will remember them to use during play - which I never seem to do. I even have a footnote at the bottom of each page of my outlines which says, "Remember! Sight, sound smell, touch, and taste!", but I just don't seem to notice it.

Listen to that inner voice that says, "Nah, that's too wordy." Pick one or two evocative details for each locale, the kind of things you'd notice first, and save the details, especially the technical details, for later. I know that when I enter a room, I don't think, "Hmm, 15 by 25, three doors, rough hewn walls, and -- oh, a dragon!"

 

[Rel]

The one thing I found extremely helpful:

One strong details is better than five weak ones. Compare:

"As you enter the sewers, you stand knee-high in waste Your boots fill with water - at least you hope it's water. Footsteps and what you think is laughter echoes through the hallways. The sewers are made of rough hewn stone, and lichen clings to every nook. It's hot down here, humid, and soon your brows are coated in sweat. The stink of the place makes you retch."

"You're hardened adventurers, but nothing could have prepared you for the stink of the sewers. The smell is sickening, overwhelming. You clamp your noses shut, but to no avail. You can feel the smell on your skin, hear it, taste it. those who have recently eaten fight to keep their meals in, those who haven't are glad for going hungry. The stench is more than offal; it smells of rotting carcasses, or blood and death."

This gives players something to remember, to play off against. The first example has too much going on, and in the end, will be filed away as "sewer descritpion". So the one thing I do, or try to do, is write down one detail for each NPC or location I want the players to remember. This is the one detail I remark upon, and the players can tackle that detail. "Isn't that the guy with the eye patch?" - "No, it's the one with the lisp." - "No, it's the anorexic barkeep."

I think this is a great point. And not just because one strong detail will stick with the players better. One great way to drive home a distinctive feature of a setting is to attach some sort of game mechanic to it too. If it stinks so bad that the PC's are constantly on the verge of losing their lunch, make them Fatigued (Nauseated should be reserved for when you REALLY want to incapacitate them). If it is incredibly cold in the Ice Drake's Fortress, have them take 1d6 Non-Lethal damage every hour they're in there. If the vines are thick and undergrowth is everywhere, force them to move at half speed.

For this reason it is even more important to focus on just one or maybe two key details because you don't want to have to keep track of a half dozen special rules that govern the situation if you can avoid it.

 

[DonTadow]

There's a PDF at RPGNow -- by Tabletop Adventures -- called Bits of Darkness.

http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php?products_id=4188&SRC=EnWorld

It's nothing but descriptions. It might be very useful to you.

I was going to recommend that. They have really helped me out of some pinches. I own bits of darkness, caveryns and about to own wilderness. They are exceptional products. Some of the best PDFs I've bought this year.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Oh, some other threads to steal from.

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=82261

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=127144

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=128659

http://www.enworld.org/showthread.php?t=131521

 

[colonelthread]

Wow! I certainly wasn't expecting this much of a response. Thank you so much for all the great advice, and the leads on other things to investigate. I'm going away on vacation tomorrow morning (or holiday for those of you on the other side of the pond), so I'll be sure to think about interesting descriptions of all the things I see while we're away. Now I'll just have to set my next adventure on a beach (or in a desert).

I would have to spend the next week responding to each of you individually, so let me just summarize by saying you're probably right - I think I was going a little over the top trying to come up with multi-dimentional, unique, detailed descriptions for each and every location that the party encounters. I think my energy will be better spent coming up with a concise sentence, giving a few key points and just enough information to help advance the story. Thanks for knocking some sense back into me.

I will still review through the threads that Hand posted, and maybe buy one or two of the Tabletop Adventure's lists, to help me understand better what makes a good description.

Thanks again!
ct

 

[Warrior Poet]

I'm going away on vacation tomorrow morning

Now yer talkin'! One of the best things you can do for your game is to get away from it for a bit and relax! Helps restore the inspiration!

Drinks with umbrellas and day-glo colors can help, too.

Or hurt.

Whichever.

Shwarrior <hic> Poesh

 

[buzz]

Limit your descritiptions to three main pieces of information at most; the human brain has trouble parsing more than that in a single bite.

Start any description with what is obviously important. When a person walks into a room, they don't take in the fabric of the curtains in exacting detail or the feel of the carpet beneath their feet. They notice the big guy sitting at the desk in the middle of the room FIRST.

Ergo, you're working from the obvious to the general to the specific, and not getting *too* specific unless the PCs are actively examining something in detail.

E.g.,

BAD: "You open the creaky wooden door to find that you're standing in a 20' by 20' room. On the east wall is what seems to be a dilapidated, worn cupboard. Further down that wall is what looks like a rusted sink filled with brackish water. On the north wall is another wooden door. On the west wall is a large iron contraption that may be a stove, but is now rusted almost to pieces. Standing in the center of the room is an ogre wearing a stained apron and holding a meat cleaver."

GOOD:

DM: "You open the door... and are confronted by an ogre weilding a nastly-looking meat cleaver! You seem to have stumbled upon what may have been a kitchen once. The stench of rotted meat is overpowering. The orge charges you!"

Players: "Auugh!"

(Combat ensues. Pertinent details of the room are drawn out on the battlemat in the process.)

Players: "Man, that was close. We start searching the room."

DM: "The kitchen has obviously seen better days. The cupboards on your left are broken and hold only dust, and the sink on that wall is filled with foul black water. A rusted stove squats on your right and seems to almsot ooze the grease of long-forgotten dinners. A wooden door leads out of the other side of the room."

Players: "Okay, I want to examine [blah]."

DM: [Gives more details about blah]

 

[jgsugden]

Try using pictures and artwork. There are thousands of sources on the internet for pictures to show to players. If they see a sketch or picture of something, they'll fill in a lot of the blanks about the environment without you having to describe it all in detail. You'll effectively give detailed descriptions without wasting time giving lengthy descriptions.