Bard is still a valid option. If you have ever watched a cooking competition, you'll notice that for the extrodinary cheffs there is an delicate "dance" to cooking and preparing the food. I am not sure what you would name this, but the skill required to would fall nicely into the Preform category. While, Bardic Music might require a Preform check, there is no reason you can't use it for other things as well. With Oratory, you could use the Bardic Music as well as to develope "ballads" on how ignorant and foolish all those around you are. Combining Preform (Oratory) and Bardic Knowledge will provide your character a nearly infinate number of insults and snide remarks to outlast his lifetime.
Also, you might consider becoming a teacher of such arts. With Leadership, you could virtually open your own school.