Sorry Blackshirt and Ao, Ash's plea was more passionate than yours.   Here goes:
Before I begin tonight's Hivemind Dramatic Reading we need to set the stage.   As tonight's piece comes from Scotland I want you to either picture Mel Gibson, attired as William Wallace reading the following in his "Braveheart" voice or perhaps Sean Connery from his "Highlander" role:
Mince Collops
Half-pound minced steak; One small onion; Quarter an ounce dipping; One teaspoonful of flour; One gill of stock; Pepper and salt; Sippets of toast or fried bread.
Prepare and chop the onion finely.  Make the dripping hot in a stewpan, and fry the onion in it for a few seconds.  Put in the mince and brown it carefully, beating it well with a wooden spoon or a fork to keep it free from lumps.  Sprinke in the flour, and mix it well with the meat.  Add the hot stock and a pinch of sale, bring it to a boil, and season with pepper.  Simmer about one hour, stirring it frequently.  Serve it on a hot ashet, garnished with sippets of toast.