Homebrew Nations and Societies [Shorter]

Technik4

First Post
I'm looking for some help balancing out these races, their respective societies, and the overall threat level of the campaign. The campaign is based on my collection of miniatures, with ideas running rampant from L5R and dragonlance (not to mention, the Chainmail game which most of these miniatures are from). So, any feedback will be responded to and very much appreciated.


Consolidated Version:

There are 2 main continents, this post will deal with one of them, Razadum, ancestral dwelling place of the dwarves.

The races:
-Steel Dwarves, as phb dwarf except +2 con/-2 Dex, metalcunning replaces stonecunning, and a +2 bonus vs heat (fire) effects replaces the +2 vs poison. +2 Craft bonus only applies to metal. N society.
-Stone Dwarves, as phb dwarf except +1 racial attack bonus applies against Elves and Aberrations (their traditional foes underground). LN society.
-Rush Gnomes, as phb gnomes with Racial Familiarity: Firearms. NG society.
-Grey Elves, as phb elves except +2 int/-2 con and +2 bluff, intimidate, and sense motive replace bonuses to listen, search, and spot. LN society.
-Wood Elves, as phb elves except Favored Class: Druid. Elven weapons do not break druid oaths. CG society.
-Dark Elves, as FRCS entry, +2 ECL. CN society.
-Humans (Thalos), as phb human. Thalos favor sorcery over wizardry and every human born on the island continent may cast one 0 level spell (their choice) 1/day as long as their charisma is at least 10. Arcane spell-failure applies for casting in armor. LG society.
-Savages (Drazen), as mm entries
-Demonic (Gnolls and Lycanthropes), as mm entries. many gnoll are half-fiend or fiendish.

Geography:

The continent is large, about the size of Asia and is bisected E-W by a long river. There is a large mountain range which cuts the continent in half vertically. On the western side of the range the land is fertile. High hills, deep forests, and pristine lakes abound. On the eastern side the land is barren, a large desert which goes to the tip of the sea.

History:

The Steel Dwarves used to claim the entire continent as a large kingdom. They allowed elves to live in their lands and there was peace, but the wars with the savages was constant. At some point the defense faltered. The elves blamed the dwarves, the dwarves blamed the elves, but the damage was done. For a long time the land was decentralized and many city-states emerged.

It was about this time the dwarves moved from the mountains, their ancestral home, to the hills and surrounding area. A group of dwarves refused to leave, and in search of resources dug deeper. The Spider Elves had traditionally lived in the forests, but after they committed some grevious transgressions were forced to leave. They could not (or would not) adapt or accept their fate, and so fled underground.

Afterwards humans from the other continent came forth, eager to meet new people and especially tame new magic. The grey elves heedlessly taught it to them, and they were called Elf-friends and wore blue sashes to commemorate their alliance. A group of elves who disagreed with giving out elven secrets seceded, going off into the woods. Some of these wood elves rode with the humans back to their continent, intent on protecting the forests there.

The humans and the grey elves existed together in great harmony for a long time. Together they helped the dwarves carve out a new kingdom in the hills, and beat back many hordes. The savages began calling themselves "the drazen" after the great chieftain who had broken the combined might of the elves and dwarves. The steel dwarves (or hill dwarves) began working with their allies, the rush gnomes on advancing their technology, and gunpowder was invented.

Recently, fiendish bred gnolls have come from the other continent, with demons and evil lycanthropes in tow. This new threat is keeping everyone on their toes, especially as another recent event as occured. A large earthquake shook the underground tunnels where the stone dwarves and dark elves have lived at war with each other for ages. The stone dwarves are building and reopening tunnels out of the mountains, looking for new territory, while the dark elves have popped on the eastern side of the continent.

Technik
 
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You need to break this into smaller sized chunks or summarize this more densely. There is too much text here to read, digest and respond to in the amount of time most of us spend on the boards.
 


Thanks for the summary. Here's my take on your world, for what it's worth:

It looks to me like race is what your world is all about. It sounds like virtually all major political and cultural divisions are expressed in your world in terms of race. This seems to result in you having to maintain many races. Another factor is that it seems an individual's race dictates a great deal. One might almost think that when there are any significant ideological splits within races, subraces are naturally produced. It seems to me that "race" is the (to use the Kenneth Burke terminology) god-term for your world. Everything is seen in terms of race. I would suggest that in combination with the strong alignment principle you have associated with races, it seems to me as though taking one look at a person will be enough for people to decide what kind of person they are.

Now, if that's the flavour you want, fine. But I think you should understand that a highly racialized worldview is what you've got here. For me, it looks to me like there are too many races and too few other ways of categorizing people.

It looks to me like the geographic scope of your world is absolutely enormous. However, you've alluded to the fact that you're dealing with Renaissance-level technology (at least in some places); even with such technology, transportation speeds don't really increase that much. Thus, the geographic scope of the world seems awfully large; if most of your continent is grassland, rather than forest, your geographic scope is somewhat reasonable but the horse would be an awfully important thing and those races attempting any kind of large empire or continental domination would be heavily cavalry-based.

The thing I really need to know, however, in order to make coherent comments about your world is who the characters will be, what culture they will come from and what story arc the campaign will be built around. Once I know that, I might be able to see a little more purpose in all the different strange races and lands.

Personally, I think you have bitten off a lot; unless your campaign has a real theme or a high-concept central idea, I would pick an area of this world where the game starts and do some good detail work on the cultures and peoples. Right now, there is a lot of emphasis on the exotic; but for things and places to be appreciated as exotic, a lot of work must be done to define the culture from which the characters come.
 

Thank you for your excellent analysis.

I don't know where exactly I'm going with this campaign. Its my first homebrew and Im trying to incorperate a lot of aspects of existing campaigns that I like, getting it to mesh well will probably prove the most difficult part.

I modeled the races loosely after middle earth. There isn't really any historical time keeping (yet, Im working on how dates will work) but generally sub-races are created through change. Most of these races also have a lot of inner conflict or conflict with their "cousins".

A grey elf was raised thinking it is largely superior to most everything, that nature is primitive and the way they "used" to do things. As a grey elf finds himself wandering through nature (hills, forest, etc) they may discover that they have been deceived.

This is, I think, true of many of the races. I have tried to paint in broad strokes the overarching mentality of these races. This post is called Nations and Societies, so I can understand why you may think that it is a focus of my campaign, but I have many homebrew gods and many dungeons planned.

As far as the over-arching arc, I'm not sure. The people I'm planning this campaign for may not appreciate the work gone into it, but they expect certain things. That dwarves will be gruff and raise an eyebrow to elves, that elves will be aloof and raise an eyebrow to dwarves, that humans be slowly expanding their influence all over the place.

Thanks again for your input

Technik
 

If you'd like to post the theology you're developing, I'd be happy to offer some more informed input. It would certainly add a dimension.

I think in many ways, your world is very much a Renaissance/Early Modern world. The idea of race as the basis for culture and political organization comes very much from this time; prior to this period, states were often racially and culturally diverse with religion as the prime organizing/distinguishing principle of various divisions.
 

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