Quasqueton said:
Ironically, they are immediately preparing to leave on another extended adventure (live in house 1 week, adventure will probably take several weeks).]
So, maybe they own a timeshare. Say a group of Drow Ninja-Pirate Assassins. (They wouldn't even know they are there).
"Ok. Who keeps leaving raw fish in the kitchen. Who keeps turning off the lights. WHY is there always a little origami toilet paper boat in the komode? AND WHY DO ALL OUR GUESTS WIND UP DEAD WITH A POISONED DART STICKING IN THEIR BACK?!?!?!?!?!"
Or maybe a bunch of half-orc Baarbarians.
"Oh man is it good to be home. Who the Abyss are you? And what stinks?"
"UGH, we here alternate weeks every other month. Like soft beds. Smell Thrusk, him have case of goblin fungus feet. No worry, cleric guy say he be fine wit puttin creme on it for couple weeks."
"What, what do you mean evrey other month? And that's not the smell I'm talking about."
"Pay man lots shiny coins, him say we own house part time. Got papers here someplace. Smell Thrusk, him like gnomish delayed blast fireball chili."
"WHAT? When I get ahold of our realtor, I'm.... THAT's still not the smell I'm talking about! Tne one that smells like summon summoned a flock of vrock with diarehea here!"
"Me like realtor bob, say this place real steal. Smell Thrusk. Him like fireball chili going down, but it go through him reeaaalll fast and Thrusk not housebroken."
"Oh, really where is Thrusk?"
"Him in first room to the left."
"WAIT! That's my room! Get the hell out of there NOW!!!!"
Sound of door slamming open
"Oh my GOD! WHAT THE?! I think I'm going to be sick. Sweet merciful Herionious, please take my sight."
"Oh, Thrusk in there with girlfriend. Revess one good, sturdy half-ogress. I think they like to do it gnolly-style."
"It burns, it burns. I'm gonna have to burn that bed. Maybe the whole house."