some house rules we use ( group of 5 players plus DM, been playing RPGs together for 6 years in varying constellations - core of 3 players and GM)
- Absentee characters are played by another player of predetermined ( in the previous session ) choice. If no choice is given, the GM determines a player randomly ( so an absentee player has a definite interest in picking a custodian player and instructing him as to his plans). The character is assumed to being played to the best of one's abilities and with the care due to own's character.
- Abusive handling of the absentee character is vetoable by the GM ( on a base of common sense, established character history, knowledge and alignment ). This includes interaction with important NPCs, monsters and general play. If a decision is vetoed, the GM will also tell the absentee player just what specific action was attempted, and why he vetoed it. The GM may assume command of the absentee character for the scene - especially if the character is repeatedly played contrary to his own interests or his established characters. The character will NOT contemplate heroic sacrifices, XP-loss etc unless previously stated by the player - in writing ( e.g. "I will lay down my life to protect the princess"... ) !
- The character is not eligible for loot, allocation of funds gained etc. any knowledge theoretically gained by the character is passive, - e.g. the player must find out what happened in his absence, what was learned by his character or who was tricked etc. on his own power, or at the mercy of the other players ( this both helps group internal roleplaying, and keeping general interest in the gaming world and the campaign development high. ). Treasure and equipment gained by him is entirely by the group's decision.
- If the entire group (those present ) dies, the absentee character dies as well - even if he could "theoretically" have made an escape. This is to avoid taking the chances of dying by skipping a predicted masaacre etc. .. ( "No mercy for the absentee" - this rule actually grew from campaign experience and was proposed by the players )
- An absentee character is awarded 50% of the XP gained during the missed session (if any) at the end of the next session - depending in part on the interest shown by him in the missed session's events, finding out abbout the current proceedings etc. . This is entirely at the GM's discretion.
- Any player missing three sessions in a row - for whatever reasons (we play biweekly, so vacations are not a problem ) - is removed from the campaign by "fate" - natural or accidental death, higher powers, whatever. Missing out three times is deemed showing a deep disinterest in the campaign - sanctioned by character removal. (this rule while harsh, was determined by group consensus ). A new character, if any, is started with the XP of the previous character prior to the missed sessions minus 10%. We did this twice - one time the player got his act together and thereafter played more regularly ( he still does ), the other time the player dropped out - but he also quit roleplayeing in general due to changed interests.
Someone who knows he is gonna miss out on a couple of sessions (like a prolonged academical absence ) is given the option to "retire" the character from the group ( the GM finds a suitable "niche" in his world - possibly with the creative help of the player ) - temporarily if necessary. A character can be reactivated after such a hiatus, with 20% of the XP gained by any other characterin the meantime awarded as "off-screen" experience. We did this once, and the player was happy with it.
As for the "fun" of the other player, it usually is taken in good stride, or even appreciated, to try out some new , untried manoeuvres or ploys, plans or simply for the joy of playing something else for a limited time. In tactical combat, it does even increase the fun for some.
A player unconfortable with making a specific roll for the character may ask another player or the GM (who cannot refuse to) to make it instead of him.