how do i learn to relax and live day by day?!?

[Mark Chance]

I use a combination of prayer, frequent sarcasm, and staying in touch with my inner sociopath. I'm terribly conflicted as a result, so my advice is perhaps best ignored at least in parts.

 

[xrpsuzi]

how do i relax? how do i get my head to expect very little, live day by day, and be happy with what i get? i am tired of going to sleep just to have nightmares every other night. i am already trying my best, and i couldn't do more if i wanted to, unless i decided to do work and work alone 24 hours a day. which would probably mean total burnout in 6 months or so.

any thought?

In general, I find balance and fusion in physical and mental pursuits very helpful. I found yoga extremely good for focusing in the moment, mostly b/c I naturally have poor balance, so I really had to think about what my body was doing and where the ground is

So maybe getting a little outside of your head and doing something physical will help. If something is bothering me, often taking a walk while I'm thinking things through helps immensely.

I also think spirtuality helps ground people and makes it easier to find that serenity that another poster mentioned. I don't think the actual belief, philosophy, or faith you pick is as important as finding one that groks with you, something you feel you can put stock into and feeds a cycle of positive thinking, behavior, and inner reflection/serenity.

But more specifically--you are freaked out b/c your future seem really uncertain and things are about to change. In those moments, I play the worse case senario game--I think of the worse thing that could happen, and then I think of what I would do if it happened. It's a good mental exercise (in that you are thinking of solutions to possible future problems) that can help calm you at the same time (by making the unknown known).

When you ennumerate the what ifs and come up with comparable thens, I think it demystifies the future and gives you the reasurance that you can handle whatever comes.

If you'll allow for a zen moment, in the end, you'll do whatever you need to do b/c the only other option is not doing it. The real question is are you going to feel good or bad while you are doing it (or not doing it).

Best of luck

 

[Spell]

thanks to everybody who replied. i think that by putting together the parts of your advices that i can most easily use, i can start learning how to relax a bit more.

it also does help that coming back to newcastle i found my girlfriend 3 times more in love with me.

anyway, i'm going to disappear again from these forums. unfortunately it's my final year in uni, and i have to do a lot of work until may. i hope to be able to return then, both to these boards and to the hobby in general.

thanks a lot!

 

[Harmon]

Few years back the world crashed in on me, and I had lots of doubt and pain. I found a guy that helped me see things a little more clearly, sense leaving his tutorage I have started meditating again (I stopped a few years before the crash). Now I am practicing Yoga and reading things like The Key, and The Secret, which seem to be based around finding a claimness in yourself as much as its belief in getting what you want.

As far as your GF goes- what will be will be, accept what she wants and what she must do or you will certainly lose her. Be patient. If you lose her then you lose her, if it was meant to be it will be, you might have to wait a few years, or decades, or what have you, but life has a way of bringing things about that make you stronger (or they kill you).

Be at peace, and find people and things that can help you find the peace in your heart (it ante easy to find in some cases, but the journey is enlightening, not the destination).