How I Made Peace With My Inner Gnome

[WayneLigon]

I've never really liked gnomes. I never saw the reason for something that was always portrayed as a half-dwarf, half-halfling. We had dwarves and we had halflings and there really wasn't a reason for one that combined both. The 'Tinker Gnome' thing that got started with Dragonlance and then spilled over into Gnome in general further irked me.

Then I started working on the Greatwood campaign (not all links are working, yet), and found myself short on a crafter race. I thought about halflings, making them like gypsy tinkers who travel in wagons, but I already had a niche for the halflings. Not too many dwarves around, and I wanted dwarves to be both somewhat inaccessable (since they are wardens of lore that will be needed much later in the campaign) and also allied to the 'bad guys' of the setting, the Charzan Imperium.

Then I remembered the humble gnome...

Forest- and earth-dwelling, rather than stone-dwelling. Check. Good with crafts. Check. Some minor magical abilities, needed to deal with the fae races on a regular basis, and so also a source of magical lore. Check.

Damn.

So I made them a more general crafter race by giving them +2 to all Craft checks rather than just Craft(Alchemy). I may give them a +4 to Craft(Alchemy) if I decide to have some slight comedic slant to them (exploding alchemical labs is always a good thing) or if I want them to be known as master potion brewers.

And I so enjoyed disliking them...

 

[Driddle]

I've never really liked gnomes. ...

Then I started working on the Greatwood campaign, and found myself short on a crafter race. I thought about halflings, making them like gypsy tinkers who travel in wagons, but I already had a niche for the halflings. Not too many dwarves around, and I wanted dwarves to be both somewhat inaccessable ... and also allied to the 'bad guys' of the setting, the Charzan Imperium.

I'm disturbed by your racist, stereotypical attitudes toward such diverse groups of people. I suppose you think all redheads have fiery tempers, too, eh? Or that tall people are natural basketball players? And I'm not even going to mention the hurtful attitudes Your Kind of People have propagated about ethnic groups over the years.

What a sad, sad default for an entire campaign. I weep. And I pray that some day you can see each gnome, dwarf and halfling for what he or she is: A distinct individual, more valuable and complex than any cliche you could possibly imagine.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

half-halfling.

A quarterling?

I thought about halflings, making them like gypsy tinkers who travel in wagons, but I already had a niche for the halflings.

Gypsy Tinker sounds like a pr0n name

Then I remembered the humble gnome...

In all seriousness, I love gnomes. My little zany illusionist gnome is my favorite PC. She is so silly and easily amused by everything. She's a lot of fun to play. I never fully understood gnome hatred. It's sad and uncalled for. Gnomes are awesome!

 

[Nifft]

I made Gnomes Tiny-sized IMC, and gave them 3 racial PrCs (pre-dating "paragons") which let them explore different Fey aspects, including being winged.

No-one's played one yet, but then my players tend to be very human-centric. (Currently 4 humans, only 1 dwarf & 1 elf ever in the past for these guys.)

-- N

 

[der_kluge]

I made Gnomes Tiny-sized IMC, and gave them 3 racial PrCs (pre-dating "paragons") which let them explore different Fey aspects, including being winged.

No-one's played one yet, but then my players tend to be very human-centric. (Currently 4 humans, only 1 dwarf & 1 elf ever in the past for these guys.)

-- N

Damn shame I don't play in your campaign, because you'd get a winged gnome for sure!

I love gnomes! My first 3e character was a gnome cleric/illusionist. We started at 3rd, and ended at 13th. He was clr10/ill3. He also had tons of ranks in tinkering, and was always trying to fix stuff. He even had a spring-loaded umbrella that he made. With his frog familiar (3.0) and a toughness feat, he had more hitpoints than even some of the fighters in the group (20 Con).

 

[I'm A Banana]

What a sad, sad default for an entire campaign. I weep. And I pray that some day you can see each gnome, dwarf and halfling for what he or she is: A distinct individual, more valuable and complex than any cliche you could possibly imagine.

"What?"

"Don't look at me like that, it's perfectly reasonable."

"Wait, just...just lemme make sure I heard this right...say it one more time..."

"I want equal rights for the Orcs of the hinterlands."

"How many years did you spend at that fancy-pants gnomish law school?"

"I fail to see what that has to do with -"

"No, y'know what, you're absolutely right. Why shouldn't Orcs have equal rights. Hell, why don't we have zombies cleaning the sewers, or vampires working for the night watch? Here's an idea, we could have goblins designing our home security, or allow werewolves to walk around the city unchecked. Maybe we could have sort of a Beholder's Inn, where, y'know, we'd let 'em take a load off."

"Your hyperbole is disgusting. Orcs are not like Beholders, or the undead."

"And *we* are not like *orcs.*"

"But my Discern DNA spell shows that we share 99% of --"

"Y'know, I bet we share the same with Zeus, but you don't see me claiming equal rights with him, do ya, Spanky? Tell ya what, you go there, go to the orc's den, you tell them what you're planning on doing, how you're working for them in the city, demanding their rights. You see how much they appreciate it. They'll stick a greataxe in your neck before they bother to find a swine that knows common, kid, I'd place my mansion on it."

"Simply because most orcs are wicked does not mean they all are! That's racist! It's like saying all dwarves have beards!"

"Should I make rules based on the exceptions to them, kid? Should I allow orcs to overrun the city on the case that mebbe one of 'em wouldn't eat yer mam alive? Should I not give Officer Olglin a comb for his birthday just cuz mebee he'll shave tomororow? You can't risk lives in the interest of fairness, Spanky. The orcs have not made an attempt to reform. Exceptions can exist, but they ain't for us to sort out. We've gotta defend our flank. If they're exceptional, they've got it tough enough in their own tribe, they don't need us layin' out the red carpet for them an' all their baby-eatin' brethren."

"But...but, that's not fair to them, sir."

"They're orcs, Spanky. They ain't fair to them."

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

Oooooh! I would LOVE to play a winged gnome. That would be like taking something I love and making it even that much better...

Can I join your campaign???

 

[baradtgnome]

I never saw the reason for something that was always portrayed as a half-dwarf, half-halfling.
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Then I remembered the humble gnome...
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And I so enjoyed disliking them...

You don't portray a gnome, you are a gnome or you aren't.

Contrary to popular human belief, most gnomes aren't humble.

And they enjoy their obvious disliking of you as well. Only gnome jokes are funnier.

I am pleased that gnomes have made you existance more tolerable.

(I find that there is a good place in a campaign for these clever folks - alchemists, inventors, merchants, and amiable go betweens of other races that aren't so amiable.)

 

[baradtgnome]

Oooooh! I would LOVE to play a winged gnome. That would be like taking something I love and making it even that much better...

Can I join your campaign???

When I saw the Faen (and spryte) in Arcana Unearthed I thought... hmmm I wonder if I could fit that in my game. Check out my copy of AU next time we play.

 

[Tinker Gnome]

Well, I would also make Gnomes tiny sized. But they would still fit the old Tinker Gnome stereotype.