How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbu- I mean, kill Elminster?

[RangerWickett]

So Elminster, as statted out in the FRCS, is pretty tough. However, if I was a villain with access to mid- to high-level flunkies who wanted to take out the pipe-smoking bastard, how would I want to go about it?

Send in a bunch of teleporting wizards who all cast hideous laughter on him? Nah, he's probably got mind blank. Okay, one guy who readies to cast antimagic shell, and a bunch of people with pointy sticks?

What are your ideas?

 

[airwalkrr]

Mordenkainen would totally kick his ass... if he could just stop being so goddamned neutral about everything.

 

[FreeXenon]

Actually I that if any one made a plan to do him in, it would never works as he has a lot of friends in fairly high places including a, erm, goddess of sorts.

I would think that his demise would have to be due purely due to happenstance. There just happened to be a an Abyssal Soul Eater there at the moment the he was duking it out with some FR baddie in a Dead Magic area.

I think the only way to remove him would be similar to the way that Kelemvor hid from Cyric - through capturing his soul. Anything short of that would be a waste of time.

Just a thought, and good luck with that as I have heard his saves are pretty leet. You would need a relic of sorts or someone who was a representative of a deity that was opposed to his meddling to sponsor the capturing and his soul could then be used as a bargaining chip amongst the gods.

The pointy sticks option is not a bad one, either.

Epic problems require epic solutions unless Murphy happens to intercede, and he generally does enjoy that.

 

[wedgeski]

Mordenkainen would totally kick his ass... if he could just stop being so goddamned neutral about everything.

What makes a wizard turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or was he just born with a heart full of neutrality?

 

[green slime]

Poison him with a glass of milk containing an epically miniaturized chaos beast?

Seems like a suitable fate...

 

[Korgoth]

One, if he has the ability to travel to alternate Prime Material planes.

1. Casts "planar travel spell" (whatever they're calling these days)... and go to the world of 1st edition (or 2nd edition) Gamma World.

2. Cast "Locate Object" or somesuch to find a Photon Grenade (or Torc Grenade, if you're worried about him getting instantly rezzed by DM fiat).

3. Go back to Faerun.

4. Chuck grenade within 10 meters of the munchkin (15 meters for the Torc). Make sure you're outside the blast radius!

Problem solved.

 

[Arashi Ravenblade]

If im not mistaken tech wont work in Faerun. Course I dont know anything about Gamma World so it might work.

 

[Scribble]

Instead of attacking him directly... start a negative advertising campaign on him. The realms have never seen anything like it before... Soon enough everyone will start to despise Elminster the kitten smashing, old lady shoving, girlfriend hitting on, home team hating, king's bounty pilfering jerk, and you won't have to worry about him meddling...

No one will want his help.

 

[RangerWickett]

Worse, he's a camper and a kill-stealer! And has terrible lag.

 

[Stormborn]

Trick* him into entering a bag of holding (tell him that your girlfriend is in there) and then drop it into a portable hole?


*Just how many ranks of Sense Motive does he have?