How to deal with dissatisfaction

[GravyFingerz]

I was browsing the WotC forums, and I noticed alot of whining. Lots of whining.

I'm pretty sure the WotC forums have beaten the WoW forums in terms of whiny posts and posters. Wow, that is some record.

Anyway, I am willing to offer my (free) services as a consultant to Wizards of the Coast. I will decrease the percentage of people dissatisfied with 4e, increase your profits, and increase the number of yay-sayers.

Too good to be true? But wait, there's more!

This plan involves phases. And if a plan has phases, it has to be a "good" plan.

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PHASE 1

First, Wizards of the Coasts issues a public apology to those who hate 4e. Those who strongly hate 4e will be given free tattoos, courtesy of WotC. The tattoo will be a symbol that shows the persons hated of 4e ... something like "4e" inside a red circle with a dividing line.

PHASE 2

Anyone with a 4e hate tattoo is given a "free" ticket to a "happy" camp, where there favorite version of D&D is supported. They will be fed and clothed, and will play their favorite edition of D&D in "special" rooms filled with "happy" gas.

PHASE 3

When the "happy" players dont "need" their old books anymore, WotC can "lift" the old books off of the "happy" players and "sell" them on "ebay".

PHASE 4

Funnel "profits" to WotC. Continue making 4e. Delight everyone else who likes them, and those who are apathetic, or don't like 4e but are civilized enough to not whine about it.

PHASE 5

Release 4e. Drink cognac and smoke cigars. Toast evil. Well done gentlemen, well done.

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So, as you can see, it is a foolproof plan that will give you the results you need. WotC, if you want to reach me for further consultation, you can reach me via the "interweb".

 

[Nifft]

PHASE 5

Release 4e. Drink cognac and smoke cigars. Toast evil.

I volunteer to beta-test PHASE 5.

Please let me know the status of your program.

Thanks, -- N

 

[JoeGKushner]

Phase one is already all wrong.

It's a fist throwing the Horns with 3.5 4Ever on it.

 

[outsider]

Until the posters at the WoTC board push a moderator to the point that he tells them all off and quits, they aren't whinier than the WoW posters. Alternately, somebody could come up with a suggestion for a new spell that involves running over one of the moderators with a bus, gaining hundreds of posts supporting the idea.

Yes, both of those have really happened at the official WoW boards. It's a real cesspool over there.

 

[Piratecat]

Satiric thread, after I asked for them to end? Check.
References to Nazi death camps and gas chambers? Check.
Not funny? Check.
Closed? Check.