how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[Stone Angel]

It goes without saying that your appearance and hygeine should be at it's pinnacle when talking to a "prospect" unless you have the whole sweaty jock thing goin for you, and even then you need to keep your distance.

First of all be natural or at least as natural as you can be. It is normal to be nervous at first just don't be a spazz, chicks love to hear themselves speak for the most part, or at least "be listened to" but be careful here you don't want to be the strictly "listening friend"

Never ever ever seem look desperate, if you are going to be crushed by her un-affection back off for a while and re-evaluate the situation.

Never ever drool or stare or at least be caught staring


Now we have covered some of the things on not what to do lets give some advice.

Start small the little battles are what counts.It also helps if you have something in common, i.e if you are on campus and you have the same class, that is not a ice breaker, complaining about a recent assignment or the prof or TA is a good situation. Though never ask to copy notes or study together unless you have you know them a little.

Fleeting compliments are nice but ones that don't objectify their body, such as "Hey nice shirt I like Linkin Park too, ever seen them live? Yeah they rock." Then end it there walk away chalk one up for the home team.

Then next time you will have a little background you always have a safe base to return too. For instance if the conversation doesn't quite take flight you can ask her what other kinds of music she enjoys.

Well I hope this helps but the number one secret to girls and college= Alcohol, it does wonders for tearing down inhibitions and defensive walls including your own.


The Seraph of Earth and Stone

 

[Jesus_marley]

First of all, DO NOT "hit on" a girl.... that in itself is creepy.

Be sure you are presentable (clean, don't smell wierd, brush your teeth).

Approach the person and say something like this...

"Excuse me. Sorry for disturbing you but I couldn't help but notice you there from across the (room, field, street etc.).My name is ________ and if it isn't too forward of me, I was wondering if you would be interested in having lunch (or coffee, etc.) with me?

If she says yes... Great!

If no, then be polite and move on.


Don't worry about asking about a boyfriend or SO. If she has one, she'll tell you up front... At least hope she does anyway

Hope this helps.

 

[jaerdaph]

If you're hitting on girls and over 18 I'm calling the authorities...

 

[Mystery Man]

If judging by the last few responses to this thread is indicitive of how our youth today and how they go about wooing the opposite sex, I fear for the advancement of our species.

 

[Jesus_marley]

The problem with meeting and dating the opposite sex nowadays is that men are restricted by so many laws as to what they can and cannot say and do.

Courting is now called stalking.
Wooing is harassment.
What once was considered charming is now called creepy.

You practically need a team of lawyers behind you when you approach somebody you are interested in. There is such an atmosphere of distrust and wariness that pervades the entire dating experience that neutral meetings in neutral venues are the only safe way to go without being arrested.

Am I bitter? Nah!

 

[mythago]

How in the world are you supposed to know if you're wasting your time if you don't ask?

From the point of view of asking another person out, it's irrelevant. What you want to know is whether they'll go out with you. "I don't have a boyfriend, but I'd rather eat glass than go out with you for coffee" has pretty much the same end result, from the Man in a Hurry's point of view, as "I have a boyfriend," right?

If you don't want to waste time, introduce yourself, explain why you're talking to them ("I sit behind you in Comp Lit and I really liked what you had to say about Derrida"), and ask them out. Simple, no creepiness, no waste of time.

(Plus, it allows both you and her a polite out. "I'm sorry, I'd love to go out with you but I'm seeing sometime" lets her turn you down without it being personal, even if it's not true.)

Jesus_marley, y'know, if you go looking for something you will probably find it. If you approach any potential love interest as though she's got her mobile phone ready to speed-dial 911 to report a potential stalker, then the nice, non-paranoid women are going to give you a wide berth. Nobody finds a chip on the shoulder attractive.

 

[jaerdaph]

Courting is now called stalking.
Wooing is harassment.
What once was considered charming is now called creepy.

Sadly, it probably depends on the package you come in and the perspective target - good looks or money (or better yet both), you're considered the former. What ever happened to women falling for the Woody Allen screen persona type?

As an aside, my son calls them "womens" (yes, a double plural) now, so "girls" is apparently out.

 

[mythago]

"Target"? I think I see the problem right there.

Woody Allen is rich. So is Henry Kissinger. I don't think either of them feels stalking is charming.

 

[jaerdaph]

"Target"? I think I see the problem right there.

Woody Allen is rich. So is Henry Kissinger. I don't think either of them feels stalking is charming.

Yes, but Woody Allen's *screen persona *- the characters he plays - weren't rich.

And, like beauty, all these things are in the eye of the beholder.

If someone tells you they are uncomfortable, or if you pick up that they aren't comfortable but not saying it aloud, you should *always* be respectful of that person and back off.

 

[mythago]

And, like beauty, all these things are in the eye of the beholder.

Well sure. Isn't that the way it should be?

(For those concerned about lawyers, in real life there are legal standards about reasonable behavior. You are not going to get sued for harassment because you asked a fellow student out for coffee.)