how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[mythago]

Doonesbury had a running series on that early on, where Mike Doonesbury hires Sam Smooth to give him tips on meeting women, and inevitably it goes like this:

"Hi, I'm Mike Doonesbury and--"

"Who's your friend over there? The cute one?"

 

[Afrodyte]

One thing I appreciate is a man who is honest about his wants and intentions. Putting up pretenses about just wanting to be friends or looking for a serious relationship when you only want a good time is generally a turn-off. Likewise, if you are really looking for a long-term relationship, don't pretend like that's not what you want. In my experience, men who are not honest about what they really want come across as weak and/or dishonest, and I find neither one of these traits attractive. Just be honest with her and (more importantly) yourself. Don't be pushy or invasive about it, but don't hide it either. If you both are looking for the same thing, and she's interested in you, great! Be grateful for your good luck. If she's not interested in you in the same way you are in her, ask yourself (and be honest) if you can live with just being friends. Don't feel bad if the answer is no, but if you never want to be friends (and only friends) with any other women, you might want to start asking yourself a few questions.

Of course, this is what has applied in my experience, so YMMV.

 

[Kid Charlemagne]

Seriously, you guys should be listening to mythago. There is much wisdom there.

Yeah, but she also runs a mean Cthulhu campaign from what I've heard, so just keep that in mind...

 

[Uzumaki]

Good advice to gamers everywhere, dating-advice or no

Good advice to everyone, regardless of their hobbies.

On that note, hang out with people who have good hygeine, too. YOu can smell like fresh daisies in the morning, but if you spend a few hours in the company with people who marinate in their own body oils day after day, you WILL absorb their funk.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Ok, here is my advice, and I will tell you that every time this subject comes up, I ost this advice, and it always gets derided.

Don't listen to the derision.

The advice you have been given thus far in the thread will put you directly on the path to being the girl's "Good Friend". That means--in essence--no sex. IF that's what you are looking for, then great, go for it.

But if not, the following advice should serve you well, though it stands in stark contrast to just about everything that has been said in this thread thus far.

Ok, here we go.

Be kind of a jerk. Not a total jerk, just more arrogant than you would normally be. I have no idea why women go for this, but they do. In droves.

I and most of my friends have done "just fine" to "very well" being arrogant jerks.

In highschool I tried to go with the plan my mother had for me: "Be nice, be respectful, think of the girl as a person first". It sounded like gold! I mean who wouldn't like politeness and respect? Right?

I got exactly nowhere. Nothing. Zip. The girls absolutely could not have cared less.

Then my friend Cary, who did very well with women, took me aside while I was complaining one day and told me the truth...

"Treat them bad. Just kind of be arrogant, don't be afraid to belittle them some etc.."

I told him he was crazy.

He said to try it on a girl I liked (Michelle) at a party this weekend. If it didn't work, he'd give me 50 dollars...if it did I owed him 50.

I paid him 50 bucks monday morning. Michelle and I dated for almost year.

The pattern hasn't really changed all that much. I'm not the total jerk that I was in highschool, because I don't need to be anymore.

I now make pretty good money, which picks up a lot of the slack

Your mileage may vary

 

[monkeyshines]

Be kind of a jerk. Not a total jerk, just more arrogant than you would normally be. I have no idea why women go for this, but they do. In droves.

Well, confidence - the kind of confidence that says, "I might not really care what you think and I'm not going to be your lapdog" - can be very attractive. But if it's just an act, like any other act it will come out in the wash later... and that's how "you're not the man I fell in love with" talk starts.

Start simple. Have a friend in a support role (if you have no friends present, chose some random person to fill the spot). Find some girl who looks bored and open. Walk right up and say "Hi. My friend over there is making me learn how to talk to girls." or something like that. Something to break the ice, excuse shyness on your part, and (hopefully) make her feel more comfortable that this isn't some hit-on. (Make sure to do this in some public place, but at the same time try to find someone who's not in the middle of a crowd.)

Sorry, no offense, but that has "line" written all over it.

 

[Darrin Drader]

Ok, here is my advice, and I will tell you that every time this subject comes up, I ost this advice, and it always gets derided.

Be kind of a jerk. Not a total jerk, just more arrogant than you would normally be. I have no idea why women go for this, but they do. In droves.

Yep, you should listen to Billy. It is the truth, but you have to be comfortable doing it. I went out one night with the stated intention of saying something to a girl that is so over the top I'd get slapped. My friends and I went out to a couple of clubs, did some dancing, talked to a girl, made the offending comment and achieved my objective. Smack! Guess who ended up taking her home that night.

 

[Angcuru]

Well, different methods work for different people, as well as attract different people. Something to keep in mind.

 

[tarchon]

Another approach is not to figure out how not to act creepy, but to find a girl who likes creeps.

My piece of advice: ignore everything attractive guys tell you about getting women, because it's all a rationaliation for the fact that women go out with them because they're attractive.
If you find an ugly guy gets a lot of girls, then bend an ear.

 

[Nifft]

If you find an ugly guy gets a lot of girls, then bend an ear.

I'm not seeing any ears here...

-- N