How to leave a group. Read before posting.

[Summer-Knight925]

So I was brought into D&D by my father, I played with my older brother and dad through many characters and three settings.

My brother is leaving for the navy soon and will most likely not be able to play in a few months (unless by some chance they turn him away for medical reasons) which leaves me and my dad.

My dad is the type of gamer who cares nothing for the rules.

We want to switch to pathfinder, but he want's to stay in eberron and use 3.5 feats and classes and monsters.

And rules...

this seems small, but when he want's to keep the XP cost of magic items (something pathfinder has done away with) and keep the artificer just the way it is, it's a bit much.

Dragon marks and races and..well while he says "there is no difference" I simply pull up the sorcerer in pathfinder and compare to teh sorcerer in D&D, same with teh fighter, and with the bard, and the barbarian, and the cleric, and so on.

I show how monsters are different and treasure is different and while it is very similar in rules, there are enough differences where clashing teh two together makes me unhappy.

So this has lead me to realize that my style of play just does not go good with his style.

So how do you tell your dad you don't want to play with him anymore?

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

1) Politely & with respect.

2) By offering to run a game for him instead.

3) By (honestly) telling him you found some gamers your own age that you'd like to game with.

I suspect that any of those will be preferred to gaming with him in a half-assed way- you know, phoning it in?- and the latter 2 might even make him happy.

 

[Summer-Knight925]

I have run games for him before, it's how he power games.

It's not normal power gaming, if he doesn't get his way (by breaking rules) he either yells at me or simply punishes me.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good father, he introduced me to gaming, isn't that enough? but he is prone to temper tantrums.

And no, he isn't immature, he has Multiple Sclerosis so his moods are effected.

But it's like...we go on adventures and go up multiple levels (like...you know, 1st to 5th in one adventure) and only really go to just level up and get magic. He has no other drive to go on adventures than to gain power.

That and...something I really do hate...is character hopping (if I'm using this term right) where you have multiple characters to choose from and you put them in whatever group for whatever reason just because. The character's don't know each other (Okay, so "they met in a tavern" might be good for you, but not for me) and there is NO role playing, whenever I try this it usually ends with someone yelling. "you're playing a paladin, you can't just attack a caravan of drow WHO YOU DON'T DETECT EVIL ON because they're drow, it's against being a paladin"
'no! drow are evil!'
"not these ones, as you can tell from your detect evil ability"
'I don't care, roll for initiative'
"you'll lose paladin levels"
'for what?'

^^that usually happens all the time, there is NO role playing at our table, and it sucks.

I enjoy role playing and adventures with meaning and the story telling aspect.
he likes killing things and increasing numbers

it just doesn't go well together.

And I really don't know of any other people my age who play, the best I could do is the game store across town that 'charges' $5 to play (but you can use that $5 to buy snacks and stuff there so it's all good) but that would mean borrowing money....since I don't have a job. And getting a ride there...since I don't have a car.

It really comes down to something that could be a new thread.

Is power gaming good?

 

[Dice4Hire]

Well, if it is your father, I would say you are pretty much stuck with the game, until you move out of the house.

But no reason for that to be your only gaming. Play by post, or PBEM, or a lot of different versions are out there. Should be easy to find a group who plays your way on the interwebs.

 

[Pentius]

Ditto on the PbP. There are a number of 3.5/PF games right here on ENworld. it'd be worth a look.

If you don't want to play with your dad anymore, the best way to break that to him is politely and honestly. Just tell him you haven't really been into your games lately, and make sure he knows there isn't any bad blood.

As for power gaming, I don't hold it as inherently good or bad. It's just a playstyle thing. It definitely sounds like your dad's style isn't meshing well with your own style though, which makes gaming together harder.

 

[S'mon]

If you don't want to play with your dad anymore, the best way to break that to him is politely and honestly. Just tell him you haven't really been into your games lately, and make sure he knows there isn't any bad blood.

This is right. It's a shame you've outgrown him - he doesn't sound the most mature individual, frankly - and I know I'd be sad if my son told me he didn't want to play with me anymore (that'll be awhile yet - he's 4). But you're not enjoying playing with him, and if he's punishing you IRL when he objects to your DM calls - well that is totally unacceptable. If he wants to play his way he needs to find some like-minded munchkins, maybe via an Internet game if he's house-bound.

You can always tell him you prefer playing alongside your brother and you'll play when your brother is back visiting from the Navy. That's pretty common - my wife only plays D&D with me when her brother is visiting and can play too.

 

[S'mon]

Well, if it is your father, I would say you are pretty much stuck with the game, until you move out of the house.

Well if he literally forces you to play, I guess you can treat it as rent, and aim to move out ASAP. I hope he's not such a jerk, though.

 

[Kzach]

Have a look at Maptools at the RPTools website. It's what is known as a Virtual Table Top. You essentially connect with other gamers online and use the Maptools program and usually a voice program like TeamSpeak, Ventrilo or Skype to play PNP RPG's. It can be a bit of a learning curve but the community there is great and very helpful and there are a lot of Pathfinder games.

 

[Pentius]

-snip-

 

[Morrus]

It's not normal power gaming, if he doesn't get his way (by breaking rules) he either yells at me or simply punishes me.

Don't get me wrong, he's a good father, he introduced me to gaming, isn't that enough? but he is prone to temper tantrums.

And no, he isn't immature, he has Multiple Sclerosis so his moods are effected.

In what way does he "punish" you? And, in the same vein, how old are you?

Regardless of his illness, this is not a situation you should be in. It sounds like another adult needs to be present if the illness is causing abusive symptoms. What does your mother say when he punishes you for what happens in a game?

To be honest, this doesn't sound like a gaming issue to me; it sounds much more serious than that. Do you have a teacher or someone you can talk to, if not your mother? Another adult family member?