How to stop player whining? Drama!

[Doctor DM]

This reminds me of a player that used to be in my games. He was a very old and dear friend to all of the other players, and he loved to roleplay with us, but whenever he was reduced to less than half his total health he would go into a spiral of depression and take everyone else with him.

It didn't matter if everyone else in the party was perfectly healthy, or if the tactical situation of a battle appeared to be an inevitable victory. The player would begin to sulk and frequently throw in comments about how it did not matter what any player did because 'we're all going to die', or 'we've lost. Give it up guys, we've already lost."

His negative energy would kill the entire room. It was like you hit a switch and he went from a fun guy to hang around with into Private Hudson at his worst.

So how did things turn out with him?

 

[CharlesRyan]

UPDATE! (finally)

Good news, even if it didn't test his tolerance. A few happy sessions might create a frame of reference that will help him put setbacks into proper perspective.

 

[anest1s]

This reminds me of a player that used to be in my games. He was a very old and dear friend to all of the other players, and he loved to roleplay with us, but whenever he was reduced to less than half his total health he would go into a spiral of depression and take everyone else with him.

It didn't matter if everyone else in the party was perfectly healthy, or if the tactical situation of a battle appeared to be an inevitable victory. The player would begin to sulk and frequently throw in comments about how it did not matter what any player did because 'we're all going to die', or 'we've lost. Give it up guys, we've already lost."

His negative energy would kill the entire room. It was like you hit a switch and he went from a fun guy to hang around with into Private Hudson at his worst.

WOW cool! Maybe he was roleplaying a cleric of Shar or something! Ill definitely try it out sometime.

 

[Katana_Geldar]

That's strange, usually when peopl low in hp it makes things more exciting and desperate.

 

[Doctor DM]

That's strange, usually when peopl low in hp it makes things more exciting and desperate.

Yeah that's how I feel. I have a lot more fun in a tough campaign then an easy one.

 

[Zelda Themelin]

I think there are few potential things causing bad mood.

He doesn't understand all rules. I become irrated if I don't know how "physics" of game-world work. This also often contributes to charater you though is good at something but ends up sucking at it.

He doesnt' trust gm. Do you actually know gm wasn't pushing such behavior by being unfair. Unmentioned hause rules are bad for trust. As are bad things happening to your character in your first session. This kinda sets the mood for near future.

Lack of transperant combat feeds trust-issues and doesn't help learning rules.

I understand his complain for 15 dmg. Gm should mention if its crit or power attack somehow, if not directly then by description. Some players want to know what contributes to damage, especially if it's stragely low or high based on how the opponent appears. Me and my other Blizzard and Bioware games corrupted friends have issues in these.


And maybe combat plots weren't to his liking, too much assassins attacking inn you sleep and so. Odds for conflict staters should be even most of the time. It kinda sucks if dm always puts players in tactically bad position because "surviving hard odds is more fun". Not everyone agrees.


It might be play-style issue. He likes part of if, but other parts not so much.

Some people want to relax while playing games. "Unpleasant surprises" ruin that relaxed mood. Of course sometimes outside things affect general mood, like lot of stress at work or something other RL related.


I think there is hope for you. Sometimes people even adept to like play-styles they didn't before. I think it's important to find out what is really bugging him. You can't just ask person to stop whining if you don't also fix something for him. You could try transperant combat for while as someone here suggested.

 

[the Jester]

...I understand his complain for 15 dmg. Gm should mention if its crit or power attack somehow, if not directly then by description. Some players want to know what contributes to damage, especially if it's stragely low or high based on how the opponent appears.

I disagree completely. If a monster does a bunch of damage, there's no real need to break it down for the players- nor should you. The monsters should remain thoroughly behind the dm's 'curtain' imho.

You can't just ask person to stop whining if you don't also fix something for him.

Yes you can. I don't think accommodating whiners is a good solution; it just teaches them that they get their way when they whine and encourages them to continue.

Not that I'm saying there's never any room for compromise, but when you've approached the player directly and multiple times about the unfun he's causing in your game and he hasn't changed, at a certain point you move on to other players. There's no point in changing up a game that everyone is enjoying except when the problem player acts up if it means one player (the problem guy) gets his way and everyone else has less fun.

Really, the argument that a dm should refit his game for the problem player is a bit like saying that schoolyards should change the rules to suit the bullies.

 

[Sunseeker]

I disagree completely. If a monster does a bunch of damage, there's no real need to break it down for the players- nor should you. The monsters should remain thoroughly behind the dm's 'curtain' imho.

I agree to an extent. Part of a good fight is explaining that "when the kobold sees his attack connect(he hits), he forces more power into the swing." no, it's not breaking it down for the players, but it's making them understand the opponent did something special in the attack to make it worse.
Your players are fighting toe-to-toe with these creatures, so while they shouldn't see their stats, their skills, their PCs can see what their opponents are doing. And therefore recognize when they do something special.

Yes you can. I don't think accommodating whiners is a good solution; it just teaches them that they get their way when they whine and encourages them to continue.

Depends on what you're accomodating. If the player is complaining because you roll the dice so fast they can't keep track of it all, that's a good thing to accomodate. If the player is complaining because a monster does too much damage(in their mind), that's not.

Not that I'm saying there's never any room for compromise, but when you've approached the player directly and multiple times about the unfun he's causing in your game and he hasn't changed, at a certain point you move on to other players. There's no point in changing up a game that everyone is enjoying except when the problem player acts up if it means one player (the problem guy) gets his way and everyone else has less fun.

An unfun player is a player who expresses their discontent in a way that is easy to catch. Assuming that they are the only one just because you only catch their discontent is a faulty assumption. There may be others who agree, but their discontent is not so readily vocalized. They may be the proverbial "postal worker", who suddenly snaps in one game and unleashes all their malcontent in one burst. They could be the "vanisher" who just starts not showing up to games, claiming they're "busy".

Really, the argument that a dm should refit his game for the problem player is a bit like saying that schoolyards should change the rules to suit the bullies.

The DM should ensure that the problem player is unique before making any changes to their game. Otherwise the problem could get worse if they don't take the time to ensure that.

 

[TarionzCousin]

It would be great if you could somehow convince this guy to turn his whining and complaining into being a good roleplayer and someone fun to game with.

 

[Zelda Themelin]

If a monster does a bunch of damage, there's no real need to break it down for the players- nor should you. The monsters should remain thoroughly behind the dm's 'curtain' imho.

I disagree, this varies very much from group to group. And as my personal preferance goes didn't mean break down everything by numbers, but dm should describe if opponent seems to hit really hard (power attack), or hit you very nastily (crit or backstab) etc. Lol, and I shouldn't do or think anything, I dont' even play with you. But you probably meant it as generalization about your opinion.

Yes you can. I don't think accommodating whiners is a good solution; it just teaches them that they get their way when they whine and encourages them to continue.

I most of time would agree with this, but I've seen many opposing situation. Sometimes reasons to whine are very good indeed. Whining and other passive aggressive behavior is not nice, but unfortunaly some people act that way when they feel upset or stressed. Not everyone can hide negativity and discuss problems directly and logically. And it doesn't help if one you have to convince about something hates all critique.

I don't know person in question, so I have no idea if he's reasons to sulk are legimate or just selfish "I must get all good, and nothing bad" behavior. Usually it's mix of both, and since he seems to also act ok in games, it might be specific situations causing negative feelings and maybe partially fact that he is new in game and unsure about rules and being treated same as everyone else.

I've noticed with my few friends after they quit rpg for 2 years and played wow became impatient and started to have control issues with dm, and rule arguments, also they seemed to dislike "too chalenging situations". It took like four months before they got back their prior gaming mood.

Anyhow, I truly hope you all start enjoying that game DoctorDM.