Dude, you want to stay out of this if you want to keep that friend. All too many times I have seen friends try to "help" friends with girl problems. Most of the time, guy with girlfriend, will end up getting rid of friends who get in the way of his action. I'm sure you feel like you need to rescue your pal. You've done what a friend does. You've mentioned it to him, probably ad nauseum, and you've hinted to her about getting a job. Now butt out. Let hime either grow a backbone or learn an expensive lesson. It's his life, let him live it. If she catches on to what you are getting at, you will end up losing one friend and two players.
-
NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
How to tell a friend's girlfriend to get a job or something?
- Thread starter MadMaxim
- Start date
nerfherder
Adventurer
Juvenile? Maybe? Personally, I saw it as harmless banter. I think several people have given good, considered advice to the original poster, so a few light-hearted comments do no harm.RustyHalo said:
Cheers,
Liam
MadMaxim
First Post
Okay, okay, I get the point. I'll butt out of their business, but then I start to wonder how the heck I'm supposed to do any kind of damage control when the crap hits the fan? And Hijinks, I know it's realistic advice I'm getting. I wouldn't consider it to be anything else.
As for me using his relationship as a proxy of some sort, I only have this to say: I've been in one relationship for three months and that's it. I just turned 24 and I may not be an expert on relationships, but when a woman is dominating a friend of mine like that, I have to get a few things off my chest if you don't mind...?
As for me using his relationship as a proxy of some sort, I only have this to say: I've been in one relationship for three months and that's it. I just turned 24 and I may not be an expert on relationships, but when a woman is dominating a friend of mine like that, I have to get a few things off my chest if you don't mind...?
Einan
First Post
MadMaxim said:
Dude, there's not a darn thing you can do for damage control save get him drunk and let him vent. Slap him on the back a few times and tell him it'll work out okay and encourage him to pursue another woman. Nothing much else can cure getting your heart ripped out.
Course, I got my heart ripped out, and the next girl I dated turned into my wife. Been together five years now and am still deliriously happy. There's hope out there for us lonely geeks.
Einan
Tanager
Registered User
Einan said:
Had my heart ripped out several times, and seen my friends hearst ripped out here and there too. Hell. I saw my best friend get his heart ripped out by my ex, Einan's quote is good advice.
There's really not much you can do here, except be ready for your bud when he needs you. If you feel you *really* have to, tell your friend that you're worried that she's using him, and then leave it at that, otherwise, don't get involved. When/if it falls apart, don't say "I told you so", by him a drink or twelve and be supportive.
Tanager "been there, done that" Ooi
the Jester
Legend
MadMaxim said:
I know you're just trying to be a friend, but why do you think you're responsible for damage control?
The best thing you can do is be there for him when he needs a friend. Let go of your need to save him- he must save himself if anyone can. Be there if he needs someone to get drunk with, someone to cry on, someone to bitch to. But let him deal with his life.
MadMaxim said:
Be supportive, be a friend, be patient, and be understanding. Do not say "I told you so."
If your friend's relationship is gonna make it then it will make it on its own.
Let life happen, don't force it. Learn from other's wisdom. The only person that you can change is yourself.
Its okay to let things be.
