How would you defend your subterranean kingdom?

[Pielorinho]

What a cool thread!

Here are some of my own ideas:

1) I was gonna suggest the neck-level tripwire, but someone beat me to it. So here's my improvement on it: have a thin wire, perhaps cadged from someone's fence or beaten out of a bit of bronze. Cover it in pitch, so that it's hard to see. Stretch it tight just above headlevel in a corridor. Just beneath the wire, put an 18" high barrier -- ideally, a broken piece of door that you've wedged into the corridor.

You're being followed by adventurers, so you run down the corridor, leaping over the 18" high barrier -- a big jump for a goblin, but not impossible by any means. Then the oafish human following you comes along, jumps over the barrier -- and gets a wire right across the throat in midair. You turn around with your spear and attack.

For extra fun, you can have the tripwire attached to a clay pot full of green slime or cooking oil, so that when the tripwire is pulled, there's a cheery splash right below it.

Very cheap, and easy to set up -- especially without the green slime addition.

2) SHARK's human-invasion scenario is really nasty, I agree. However, if troops are limited, then the goblins will do well to go on a burn-and-pillage scenario throughout the countryside. Especially if there's a honeycomb of caverns, they can come out, destroy several farms with fire and arrows, and go back into their caverns. They may even be able to attack a (now relatively unguarded) city, if they can come up through the sewers. And all they need to do is start some fires in the city -- they're not interested in living there. All they want to do is convince the humans that their troops are best used defending their homeland rather than assaulting the goblins.

This'll only work if the goblins have an easy way to escape SHARK's noose for awhile; if not, they're SOL.

3) I don't know how well this one would work. But goblins seem like they'd be great slavers. Maybe they'd catch humans and set them to work mining. But they want goblin-sized tunnels -- so what they do is, they chop off the legs of their slaves, just below the knee. Have a torch and a couple of cure minor wounds spells ready, and presto -- goblin-sized slaves who have a hard time escaping or fighting back! Plus, you have dinner for two hungry goblins.

My one reservation with this is whether a footless slave would be able to mine effectively. Maybe you could set up some sort of brace for them. If this wouldn't work, you could just steal children to work in the mines, and eat them once they got too big.

Even if goblins don't steal children to work in the mines, I'm sure that every mother in the kingdom tells her kids that they steal them. Especially naughty children who don't mind their mothers.

Daniel

 

[mmadsen]

What a cool thread!

I'm glad you like it, Pielorinho/Daniel. Did you follow the link from the front page here?

I was gonna suggest the neck-level tripwire, but someone beat me to it. So here's my improvement on it: ...Just beneath the wire, put an 18" high barrier -- ideally, a broken piece of door that you've wedged into the corridor....Then the oafish human following you comes along, jumps over the barrier -- and gets a wire right across the throat in midair.

I like it. Very Goblin.

For extra fun, you can have the tripwire attached to a clay pot full of green slime or cooking oil, so that when the tripwire is pulled, there's a cheery splash right below it.

There are all sorts of liquids Goblins might want to splash on you...

They may even be able to attack a (now relatively unguarded) city, if they can come up through the sewers.

Sewers?

But goblins seem like they'd be great slavers. Maybe they'd catch humans and set them to work mining. But they want goblin-sized tunnels -- so what they do is, they chop off the legs of their slaves, just below the knee. Have a torch and a couple of cure minor wounds spells ready, and presto -- goblin-sized slaves who have a hard time escaping or fighting back! Plus, you have dinner for two hungry goblins.

I think making adult humans mine while standing on their bloody knees seems more likely than amputating their lower legs and magically healing them.

If this wouldn't work, you could just steal children to work in the mines, and eat them once they got too big.

Seriously, how much more perfectly Goblin could you get?

Even if goblins don't steal children to work in the mines, I'm sure that every mother in the kingdom tells her kids that they steal them. Especially naughty children who don't mind their mothers.

 

[Pielorinho]

I'm glad you like it, Pielorinho/Daniel. Did you follow the link from the front page here?

Yep!

Sewers?

Well, if a city is advanced enough to have a sewer system, then it probably drains into a river somewhere, and the drains are probably not well-guarded. And while most folks would turn their nose up at crawling through human sewage, goblins don't really have a nose to turn up.

Seriously, how much more perfectly Goblin could you get?

Heh -- the children thing might make a great convention one-shot adventure. The local goblins are stealing children to work in their mines, and it's up to the PCs to rescue them.

The PCs, of course, are kidnapped children. A scrappy little girl whose older brother taught her stickfighting; a tiny little boy who's incredibly sneaky; a reclusive girl who has an almost supernatural bond with the family pooch; and a teenage boy around whom strange, magical things seem to happen sometimes.

Daniel

 

[mmadsen]

Heh -- the children thing might make a great convention one-shot adventure. The local goblins are stealing children to work in their mines, and it's up to the PCs to rescue them.

The PCs, of course, are kidnapped children.

Excellent!

A scrappy little girl whose older brother taught her stickfighting; a tiny little boy who's incredibly sneaky; a reclusive girl who has an almost supernatural bond with the family pooch; and a teenage boy around whom strange, magical things seem to happen sometimes.

Or, for Harn fans, they're all poor peasant farm children with no special talents at all.

 

[mmadsen]

Sir Whiskers, you make an excellent point: every Goblin is out for himself. The Goblin King can't let his lieutenants get too powerful, he can't really trust his magical advisors, he has to intimidate his grunts enough that they're more scared of him than of human raiders, etc.

This lets us design a reasonable Goblin Kingdom that the heroes can still invade -- because traps fail, guards run away, etc.

 

[Nifft]

Sir Whiskers, you make an excellent point: every Goblin is out for himself.

Here's how I modeled this in my little goblin mine:

1 chaotic evil leader: rules by strength.
2 lieutenants: one chaotic evil, one lawful evil.
7 sergeants: nearly as strong as the lieutenants, but less politically powerful and closer to their specific troops

Every goblin is CE, NE or LE. The CE and LE goblins will side with the lieutenant of their alignment.

2/3 of the troops are CE (including most of the rogues).

1/4 or so are LE (including all of the mages and clerics).

Killing the leader will start a civil war, though only the LE troops have a real reason for wanting to keep the mine ... so the CE forces will probably just leave, and go raid a nearby settlement.

The worgs have loyalty to the leader. If he dies, they will side with whoever seems strongest. The LE side has more rangers, so they'll probably win the worgs over, though the worgs won't act on either side's behalf until the other side is already clearly losing.

Killing a lieutenant will result in lower morale for those goblins who share his alignment, and a promotion for one of the sergeants. Thereafter, killing the leader results in the more-experienced lieutenant taking over relatively peacefully.

Killing both lieutenants results in the defection of 1/3 of the goblins and the promotion of two sergeants to lieutenant status. Thereafter, killing the leader results in anarchy -- squads deserting, infighting, etc. Two squads will remain with the spellcasters, who tend to stick together. They'll probably be able to hold the mine. The worgs may remain or may not.

Killing a sergeant results in lower morale for his troops until another sergeant can be created (through a level-up of a trooper). His old troops will fall directly under the supervision of one of the lieutenants (random) who will gain prestige and have an advantage over the other in any conflict.

Killing a trooper will lower that squad's morale by one, and for every goblin past the first lost, that sergeant must make a Will check (DC 10), and then an Intimidate check (DC 10 + 2 x # of goblins lost) to attempt any dangerous assignment. Failure indicates shirking.

Anybody got more similarly specific ideas?

-- Nifft

 

[hong]

Well, if a city is advanced enough to have a sewer system, then it probably drains into a river somewhere, and the drains are probably not well-guarded. And while most folks would turn their nose up at crawling through human sewage, goblins don't really have a nose to turn up.

Neither do adventurers!


--- repost ---
The Toilet Cleaner



Being a janitor in a typical fantasy city isn't just fun and games. The sewers beneath the city teem with far more hideous creepy-crawlies than you can poke a stick at. We know this, because many characters have in fact poked sticks at these creepy-crawlies and somehow lived to tell the tale. These characters were toilet cleaners, the unsung heroes of legend, fighting to make cities safe for all clean-living folk.


Requirements

BAB +6 (to stand a fighting chance against otyughs, jellies, carrion crawlers and other things that lurk in sewers -- monstrous alligators, for example)
Skills: Craft (janitor) 7 ranks, Swim 6 ranks
Feats: Great Fortitude, Iron Will
Alignment: any non-evil (self-serving individuals know better than to try cleaning the toilets in a fantasy city)

Hit die: d10

Advancement

[color=silver]
Level    Attack     Fort    Ref     Will   Special
         bonus      save    save    save
1         +1         +2      +2      +0    Favoured enemy (vermin)
2         +2         +3      +3      +0    Stainless equipment
3         +3         +3      +3      +1
4         +4         +4      +4      +1    Immunity to polymorph
5         +5         +4      +4      +1    Favoured enemy (oozes)
6         +6         +5      +5      +2    Windex of Doom
7         +7         +5      +5      +2    
8         +8         +6      +6      +2    Whirlwind attack
9         +9         +6      +6      +3
10        +10        +7      +7      +3    Favoured enemy (aberrations), mop of death
[/color]

Special Abilities

Weapon and armour proficiencies: The toilet cleaner is proficient in simple and martial weapons, and exotic weapon (mop).

Favoured enemies: At 1st level, the toilet cleaner gains vermin as a favoured enemy. This mimics the ranger ability in all respects. If the janitor is also a ranger, the favoured enemy bonus stacks.

At 5th level, the toilet cleaner gains oozes as a favoured enemy. The bonus associated with vermin increases by +1.

At 10th level, the toilet cleaner gains aberrations as a favoured enemy. The bonuses associated with oozes and vermin increase by +1.

Stainless Equipment: At 2nd level, the toilet cleaner gains knowledge of the lore of stainless steel. Any equipment he is using is rendered immune to rusting attacks and acid-based attacks.

Immunity to polymorph: At 4th level, the toilet cleaner gains immunity to polymorphing effects.

Windex of Doom: At 6th level, the toilet cleaner gains the ability to inflict critical hits on oozes (which are normally immune to such hits).

Whirlwind Attack: At 8th level, the toilet cleaner gains the benefits of the whirlwind attack feat, when using his mop. He does not have to meet the usual prerequisites for the feat. If he already has this feat, he can make a whirlwind attack as a standard action instead of a full-round action.

Mop of Death: At 10th level, the toilet cleaner gains the dreaded Mop of Death ability. The toilet cleaner merely has to strike his opponent with a successful melee attack to set up the deadly vibrations. Anytime thereafter, within a period of 1 day/level of the toilet cleaner, he can will the victim to die. The victim must then make a Fort save vs DC 10 + the toilet cleaner's level + the cleaner's Cha modifier or be slain immediately. This ability functions even on creatures immune to critical hits. It can be used once per week.

 

[mmadsen]

Killing the leader will start a civil war...
Killing a lieutenant will result in lower morale for those goblins who share his alignment...
Killing both lieutenants results in the defection of 1/3 of the goblins...
Killing a sergeant results in lower morale for his troops...
Killing a trooper will lower that squad's morale by one, and for every goblin past the first lost, that sergeant must make a Will check (DC 10), and then an Intimidate check (DC 10 + 2 x # of goblins lost) to attempt any dangerous assignment. Failure indicates shirking.

Interesting ideas, but will any of them (except the last one) come up in the game? Won't the leader and his lieutenants die in the big battle at the end? Or run away with a rag-tag force that isn't much threat?

I like the gist of your sergeant-vs-grunt rule though.

 

[Nifft]

Won't the leader and his lieutenants die in the big battle at the end? Or run away with a rag-tag force that isn't much threat?

Yep, in the actual ambush, the players (and a powerful NPC) targeted a lieutenant. He was down to 6 HP when he finally got away.

On the other hand, the party nearly lost their only cleric and only actually killed one goblin before the goblins heeded the "retreat" order.

There are a number of ways for this scenario to end. I'm allowing the party to use "unconventional" tactics (assassinate leaders, etc.) and have to plan for the consequences. There's also a good chance that the goblins will be in the midst of a very destabalizing civil conflict by 3/4 into the scenario.

There are a few hoops that I want to force the players to jump through, but mostly I just try to model what a bunch of greedy, lazy, nasty, bruttish and short goblins might do.

-- Nifft

EDIT: spelling & grammar

 

[mmadsen]

Yep, in the actual ambush, the players (and a powerful NPC) targeted a lieutenant. He was down to 6 HP when he actually got away....I'm allowing the party to use "unconventional" tactics (assassinate leaders, etc.) and have to plan for the consequences.

Are the players consciously aiming to assassinate leaders and destabilize the rule regime, or did they just go for the big goblin?