Howzabout a Warnin'?

[Desdichado]

It's not for you to say how people should feel and react. You control your own words and actions. It's your responsibility to be considerate. Any emotional reaction triggered by your words and actions is your fault - your actions have an impact on the people around you, whether you like it or not.

There's a difference between being considerate and constantly walking on eggshells. Not that I'm making any commentary on the specific case this thread is about; just speaking generically. I consider myself a relatively considerate and thoughtful guy most of the time, but I do have a tendency towards bluntness and direct speech that occasionally comes across as hard and unfeeling. While I recognize that I sometimes inadvertently offend people this way, I also tend to wonder what the heck is wrong with blunt or direct speech sometimes. In any case, I certainly don't agree that any emotional reaction triggered by my words and actions are my fault. In fact, that goes quite against the conventional wisdom that I teach my kids all the time: any emotional response I feel to anything is my issue and mine alone. I'm responsible for how I react to things, not the person who prompted the reaction.

 

[MerakSpielman]

You have to admit a minimum of shared responsability. You have no way of knowing all of the emotional weaknesses that you may encounter in any given individual. They could be food sensative, filled with grief, addicted to something, filled with self loathing, the potential is endless.

You're right, people have weird foibles. You never know what will offend them. The general rule of thumb is to not bring up religion, politics, or sex, all of which are forbidden on EnWorld more or less for this reason. If I trigger one of those individuals hot topics, I will apologize for offending them. That's me taking responsibility for my actions. Then, if they are polite, they will generally say, "no, it's all right, you didn't know" but as far as I'm concerned they don't need to, since I consider it to be my fault and I couldn't blame them if they didn't want to talk to me any more.

 

[DaveMage]

I think the real issue here (and in all conversations) is "respect"--not so much who should or shouldn't take offense.

EN World (usually) is a place where we respect other's thoughts and opinions. To me, THAT is what makes this such a special place.

I would hope that each of us would be respectful of fellow posters here, especially when it comes to that which could be personally hurtful.

(However, if you don't like being respectful, well, that's what Nutkinland is for. )

 

[MerakSpielman]

Good point DaveMage. Respect. Always treat others with respect, as far as I'm concerned, no matter what.

 

[the Jester]

While I agree that adults have the responsibility to control their reactions to the words of others, not all kids have yet developed this trait.

Remember, there are kids here too. You can't expect them to react maturely to everything that is said, so you have to do your part to avoid causing offense.

 

[Crothian]

Place a little trust in mods. So far I've never seen them do much wrong and I think it's a little childish to start threads to complain about a thread being closed. This really should have dealt with e-mails.

 

[mythusmage]

alsih2o overreacted.

Henry overreacted and reacted hypocritically, insofar as he had contributed to the list prior to shutting it down.

Somebody is going to take offense to anything you say, no matter what it is. Not all complaints will have validity and you need to learn the difference between those complaints that are valid, and those that are not.

In no wise and at no time was the thread an attack upon any group, or a call to bring harm to any group. And alsih2o knows this. I don't know what brought the tirade on, but I strongly doubt it had anything to do with the thread, the thread was only a target for an anger caused by something else. alsih2o's behavior was uncalled for, and he knows it.

Now, if I had started a thread entitled, "...You Might be an Orc Wizard" with the same jokes would anyone have complained? What if the thread had been, "...You Might be an Al Queda Wizard"? But since it included a real world group somebody feels himself to be a part of, and an oppressed part of, things went bad.

alsih2o has shown himself to be without honor, and so is now on my ignore list. Were Henry not a moderator he too would be on my IL. But since he is a moderator I need to be aware of what he says when he is acting as a moderator.

Except for alsih2o every self-identified redneck who posted to the thread had nothing bad to say about it. A couple even chided alsih2o on his rant. Hell, there are people out there who would call yours truly a redneck, considering my socio-economic situation and current living conditions. The fact alsih2o assumed I was some sort of elitist attacking 'lesser' creatures tells me more than I care to know about him, and shows me he is not worth my time. Not because he might be a redneck, but because he has convinced me that he is a common bigot.

In the greater scheme of things the thread in question was utterly inconsequential. It threatened no one, advocated nothing. Had one person used a lick of sense before writing about it, it would've had its day and then passed into history. As it stands now he has alienated me, and given another a reputation he will have to work hard to overcome.

To make this short, in my considered opinion it would be best were alsih2o to take some time off from these forums, to review his life, and those elements in his life which caused his outburst. And then, when the review is done, to make those corrections as are necessary to set his life right. In other words, he needs an oracular lumberectomy, and soon.

That is my say on the matter.

 

[Darrin Drader]

Oh the woes of political correctness! Rather than place legal limits on freedom of speech, instead we use social forces to do exactly the same thing. I am utterly against the notion that we must walk on eggshells to avoid offending someone else'a delicate sensibilities.

Personally I refuse to be PC. I am firmly in the freedom of speech camp, even if this speech sometimes offends. There are some religious groups (that I am not naming) that I have less than no respect for and feel that the world would be better off if they didn't exist. There are certain cultural groups (again, I'm not naming them) that I feel have no redeeming values and go to great lengths to stay away from. We all have these biases, but some of us don't like to admit to it. I do admit to it rather than being a hypocrit about it and I don't think this makes me a bad human being. If I say something potentially offensive, then it is up to the individual in question to decide whether or not to be offended.

On the other hand, I do realize that there is a responsibility that goes along with freedom of speech and if I offend someone with no control over their emotions or their fists, I just might get decked.

 

[Umbran]

alsih2o overreacted.

That's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

Henry overreacted and reacted hypocritically, insofar as he had contributed to the list prior to shutting it down.

Ah. I see here we have a man who has never, in his entire life, done a thing and then thought better of it. Or done a thing, then learned more information and figured that a different course was better. Always done the right thing on the first time, hm? Gee, I'm glad your house doesn't have any glass in it, mythusmage, 'cause you're doing a pretty good job of chuking stones about.

It is very, very easy to criticise the people who have to make decisions when you yourself don't have the responsibility for making those decisions. It is easy to get annoyed at others for not taking chances when you yourself don't have the needs of a whole community in your lap pushing you to err on the side of caution.

 

[Dinkeldog]

Consider this your "warnin'". No more insults and accusations. I'd also recommend against congratulating yourself for being better than other people. There's invariably something at which you're not as good.