I'm A Banana
Potassium-Rich
I still think the PHB cover looks a bit like "Sudden Constipation On Awkward Rock: A Love Story."
It tells the story of an ugly stone-beast with no eyes and an underbite and the hooker with the cursed bustier of almost-bursting, and how they hurl their bottoms at each other full force in order to cement their love. But as they're about to have their moons collide, they suddenly realize that something is deeply wrong, and also that they can't balance very well, and they fall, perhaps to their untimely demise.
The other two are fine. The Dragon = DM metaphor is keen, and Orcus leaping off the page to smack you in the face with awesome is quintessential monsters, but the PHB cover lacks fu.
It tells the story of an ugly stone-beast with no eyes and an underbite and the hooker with the cursed bustier of almost-bursting, and how they hurl their bottoms at each other full force in order to cement their love. But as they're about to have their moons collide, they suddenly realize that something is deeply wrong, and also that they can't balance very well, and they fall, perhaps to their untimely demise.
The other two are fine. The Dragon = DM metaphor is keen, and Orcus leaping off the page to smack you in the face with awesome is quintessential monsters, but the PHB cover lacks fu.