[Humor] D&D Outsider: Naughty or Nice?

[Peraion Graufalke]

A hilarious article by Jared von Hindman AKA OhGodtheRats.
Dungeons & Dragons Roleplaying Game Official Home Page - Article (Naughty or Nice?)

I'd play the Litterbug in a heartbeat. That one is just EVIL.

 

[Ryujin]

I have to admit to being a MetaBard, on more than a few occasions.

"Hey guys, this poor Succubus, who is pretending to be a lost female Cleric of Ioun, is all alone here. Maybe we should bring her along with us so that we can kill her first, in the next combat, instead of her sneaking along behind us and ambushing us, at the worst possible moment?"

Funny thing is that I just have to consider what I would have done in a situation, as what one friend refers to as the "cruel and unusual DM", in order to figure that stuff out

I haven't been an "Old School" since....., well shortly after I started playing in the late '70s. Evil Elf Fighter/MU. Get to the last room in the dungeon, where the treasure is sure to be stored. The rest of the party has taken a beating and want to leave. Sleep - cut throats - open door and take all the treasure.

 

[TarionzCousin]

ProTip: If your DM is running an adventure module, it’s totally in-character to use bardic knowledge to secretly read it between sessions. This trick also lets you play a mean psion. How better to make yourself appear psychic than by knowing what the DM is thinking?

With my Uncanny Insight, I could have told the DM he was doing this, but why spoil his fun?

 

[MrMyth]

Currently playing a Druid (Sentinel) with a Bear Companion and a focus on Summoning, though I resisted the temptation to multiclass Shaman for a Spirit Companion...

We used to joke about this type of build in 3rd Edition as "The Amazing Mister Wizard", since back in those days it was a lot easier to completely fill the board with summoned buddies and pets and companions. All things considered, I've tried to avoid having my own summons reach quite into Litterbug levels, but it is tempting to have a bit of fun with it...

Defendus Interruptus can be pretty bad these days, with the real danger being, as noted, missing a trigger until after it happened, and then wanting to rewind and see how things would have actually played out.

In my last 3rd Edition game, I decided the party should go all out (it was a Planescape game), and gave the party approval to play the most absurd builds they could come up with, both in terms of mechanics and concept. Basically, a party filled with Freaks. When the 'normal' members of the party included warforged, faeries, half-minotaurs and undead wizards, it's hard for someone to stand out - but one player perservered. Enter 'Paulie', some sort of... feral, half-minotaur, anthropomorphic owl... monk? I think he had another template in there, but it basically all resulted in a pouncing charge with 20 or so attacks. And, of course, looking like some sort of bizarre, man-sized flying abomination.

 

[Peraion Graufalke]

Defendus Interruptus can be pretty bad these days, with the real danger being, as noted, missing a trigger until after it happened, and then wanting to rewind and see how things would have actually played out.

That happened a lot in my days of (old) Vampire LARPing, and I don't remember the system having interrupt-type powers. I blame gamer ADD.

 

[MrMyth]

That happened a lot in my days of (old) Vampire LARPing, and I don't remember the system having interrupt-type powers. I blame gamer ADD.

Oh yeah, it still definitely happens without actual in-game 'interrupts'.

DM: "Alright, so the Ancient One has just awoken, and..."
Player 1: "Hey, did you remember Bard Song?"
Player 2: "Oh, right... I guess I did 3 more damage."
DM: "I guess the monster died, and didn't kill Player 3."
Player 3: "I'm alive again! I guess I finished scratching out the runes on the platform on my turn, then."
DM: "I guess the Ancient One that just erupted through the portal and turned you all into gibbering madmen... instead vanished into mist. But when the runes were broken, instead, the cavern also starts to collapse, so rocks fall and..."
Player 1: "Oh yeah, I mentioned I was casting Earthwalk on all of us before we entered the last fight, right?"
DM: ...

I think it's more common now less because interrupts let you do stuff during other player's turns, and more because having triggers means needing to play much closer attention to the game - and some attention spans aren't quite up to the task.

 

[the Jester]

Bah, that's easily fixed with the phrase "Too late now!" judiciously applied once it's the next person's turn.

"I guess you should have been paying attention."

 

[OhGodtheRats]

I'd play the Litterbug in a heartbeat. That one is just EVIL.

Fun Fact: When I wrote the article I also included a photograph+diagram of how a psychotic Litterbug can occupy/fill 35 squares in the first 2 rounds of combat. Apparently when the Editors of the Coast gave the Outsider a bit of polish, it was left out. It might have been me using rebased My Little Pony Minis...I don't know. My pet theory is it contained the secret formula of which man was not meant to know, but I suspect I'm romanticizing a bit. I'm away from home for the pre-holiday, but when I get back on Wednesday I'll post it up here. Somehow methinks you'll get a kick out of it.

Sadly I played a Litterbug With Uncanny Insight in my local campaign, so honestly the origins of this article is part confessional, part penance. Fun, horrible, shameful times.
-Jared

 

[Aegeri]

My typical response to someone realizing they missed a trigger is "too bad" - minding extra damage things I forgot I frequently add back in (for example if I forgot the monster had a +3 bonus to damage it took from a bonus). In that case I will "retcon" the damage and possibly potential subsequent actions. At the same time, I am consistent with this and if I forget a monsters bonus damage or a trigger, I do not retcon it except in certain (very rare) circumstances.
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[Truename]

Every D&D Outsider column so far has been solid gold. Great work!