(humor) Monster Madness!!!

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Mime Flayer - a strange creature interested only in the hides of silent performers

Seems, as if Lord Vetinari has some Mime Flayer blood...

Mustrum Ridcully

 

[KDLadage]

Mind Fillet-er -- A rather ominous individual (aka: Red Neck) with a long fishing knife and an obsession for grey matter... See also the Mime Fillet-er.

Gift Yankee -- beware notherners bearing gifts...

 

[Aeolius]

abracadaboleth - a magical fish thingy

Hair elemental - summoned by cousin It

andro-sphincter - don't go there

animated abject - small items that spring to life, only to mope around

Aquatic Elvis - King of the Sea!

bipolar bear - happy one minute, carnivorous the next

candid chimera - Smile!

gargirls - often seen hanging around the docks

hamspatula - fiendish chef

Harpy birdie (two ewe) - sorry, had to

Ho, monkey lass! - Not a way to endear popularity with the ladies

indivisible stalker - stern, but see-thru

Phantom fun guy - knock 'em dead!

tendridiculous - yes, that describes the drawing, alright

toe-jam eat'ya - the worst of Ooze Eww...

 

[Pixie Barbarian]

The PHB races

Shelf - A prissy pointy-eared overused race that should be left on the bookshelves.

Have Fling - A promiscuous race of small hedonists.

Hugh Jackman - "Bub ... shnikkt! ... you just signed you're death warrant!"

Half-elk - Another example of the disturbing inter-species breeding habits of DND creatures.

Hall-orc - Uneducated sub-race of humanoids that are usually hired as security guards in public places.

Gnope - Wouldn't play them as illusionists; won't play them as bards. Gno sir, gnope!

Barf - A related race to dwarves, who are succeptable to nauseating effects.

 

[Praeco]

Smurfneblin - a race of repulsive blue skinned cave dwellers, of which there is only one known female

Towelbear - usually only found in the restrooms of fancy restaurants.

 

[Praeco]

Oh! Got another one.

Twink dog - natural habitat is game stores, they are capable of magically teleporting themselves into any RPG group and completely ruining the GM's plans.

 

[Privateer]

Well, I know I'm not going to do the "ash rat," it's too easy *ahem*

Dow: A race of dark skinned, underground dwelling investors. They have been known to duel weild ballpoint pens.

Knobgoblins: A race of higly militaristic door-makers.

Slack Dragons: A gigantic race of swamp dwelling dragons who don't really do much of anything.

Barkmantle: An unfinished wooden fireplace accessory.

Gobblins: Small, low CR creatures with voracious appetities.

Bork: Uncivilized, greataxe-wielding swedish chefs.

 

[FireLance]

Displacer Magical Beast: Same thing, 3.5e name.

 

[demiurge1138]

Forc: A race of barbaric humanoids that have excellent table manners.

Chasm: A creature that can only shape-shift when falling off cliffs.

Ghull: A grave-robbing undead sea bird.

Bar guest: An infernal wolf that frequents taverns. Often found accompanied by budbears.

Beerholders: The best floating 11 eyed barkeeps in the multiverse.

Demiurge out.

 

[Steve Jung]

Oat-yugh: Scavengers that only eat whole grains.
Raw umber hulk: Burrows deep into crayon boxes.