Sanackranib
First Post
LOL this is the funniest stuff I've read all day.
[Humor] News in the Realms !!! Headlines....
- Thread starter Rashak Mani
- Start date
der_kluge
Adventurer
Baldur's Gate: (AP) After nearly twenty-five long years, the E & S Electrum mining company has closed its doors today. "This is a sad day in E & S's history. I never thought I'd see the day when electrum demand completely dried up.", said Markaine Sempsi, partial owner of E & S mining operations, INC., "The saddest part of all are the miners and their families. They've been hit the hardest of all." Indeed they have, Dorga Klugaxe, a dwarven miner all his life doesn't know what he intends to do. "This bites, big time! Life used to be good, down in the shafts, with me pickaxe and lantern'd helmet; I could tear down a wall in 5 strokes, and be 'ome in time for supper, but now my lass an' I don' know what we're gonna do, since the mine is closed"[sic].
E & S spokesperson, Annelise Vogel stated that the sharp decline in electrum coins and other materials dropped sharply "...almost overnight, in fact" and the mine has had a hard time staying afloat ever since. "There were some that continued to seek out electrum ore for various reasons, but the overall demand was too low to sustain our operations." The mine company managed to hold on to a small, but loyal group of miners and maintain operations despite the downturn in demand. "We knew it was inevitable,", Sempsi said, "but we fought it for as long as we could". Vogel stated that E & S would do everything it possibly could to help displaced miners find new work, perhaps in the growing adamantine and silver mining industries, who have recently entered a boom in demand.
E & S spokesperson, Annelise Vogel stated that the sharp decline in electrum coins and other materials dropped sharply "...almost overnight, in fact" and the mine has had a hard time staying afloat ever since. "There were some that continued to seek out electrum ore for various reasons, but the overall demand was too low to sustain our operations." The mine company managed to hold on to a small, but loyal group of miners and maintain operations despite the downturn in demand. "We knew it was inevitable,", Sempsi said, "but we fought it for as long as we could". Vogel stated that E & S would do everything it possibly could to help displaced miners find new work, perhaps in the growing adamantine and silver mining industries, who have recently entered a boom in demand.
Wippit Guud
First Post
Arms Race "Heats" Up
Reports are sketchy, but it seems a new spell has been developed by a grou of Waterdeep sorcerers which has the magic community on edge. It's been dubbed the "scorching ray", and early indications that this blast of fire not only competes with damage levels consistant with modern-day fireballs, and not only can be cast with less training... but if rumors are to be believed, there is no way to dodge the effect!
"Scariest thing I ever seen," states one Padfoot Skiprock, a halfling rogue who mysteriously is a lot less adept at finding north, but that is a nother story, "I was walking around this hedge maze I used to frequent, and for some reason couldn't find my way out for the first time in years. Next thing I know, this wizard fella, couldn't have been any older than 19, walks by me and shoots this fire ray out of his hand. Completely destroyed the wall of the maze. Which is good, cause it got me the heck out of there."
The mage guild in Waterdeep couldn't be contacted for comment, but a representative from the Cormyr Battle Mages confirmed that this spell does in fact exist, and that it is being considered the newest weapon in the battle with the Red Wizards of Thay.
Reports are sketchy, but it seems a new spell has been developed by a grou of Waterdeep sorcerers which has the magic community on edge. It's been dubbed the "scorching ray", and early indications that this blast of fire not only competes with damage levels consistant with modern-day fireballs, and not only can be cast with less training... but if rumors are to be believed, there is no way to dodge the effect!
"Scariest thing I ever seen," states one Padfoot Skiprock, a halfling rogue who mysteriously is a lot less adept at finding north, but that is a nother story, "I was walking around this hedge maze I used to frequent, and for some reason couldn't find my way out for the first time in years. Next thing I know, this wizard fella, couldn't have been any older than 19, walks by me and shoots this fire ray out of his hand. Completely destroyed the wall of the maze. Which is good, cause it got me the heck out of there."
The mage guild in Waterdeep couldn't be contacted for comment, but a representative from the Cormyr Battle Mages confirmed that this spell does in fact exist, and that it is being considered the newest weapon in the battle with the Red Wizards of Thay.
Rashak Mani
First Post
Rony Lighthand the Notorious Rogue was arrested today incredibly on assault charges. Apparently he was trying to buy a second Glove of Storing and after being told the price hit the salesman.
"Last week I bought the first one for 2250 gp... and I really liked the glove... so I went back to buy a second one and the guy has the courage to try and charge me 10,000 gp !!"
In a similar story when a recently married merchant tried to buy a Wings of Flying for his new Love he discovered the prices had soared to 50,000 gp.
"Its absurd ! I was planning our honeymoon and flying over the sightseeing spots.... now I find that prices have gone up 10 times !"
The Wizards Association was sending a spokesman to explain the reasons for this... but apparently his Fly spell didnt last enough and he floated down into the nearby Blood Swamp.
"Last week I bought the first one for 2250 gp... and I really liked the glove... so I went back to buy a second one and the guy has the courage to try and charge me 10,000 gp !!"
In a similar story when a recently married merchant tried to buy a Wings of Flying for his new Love he discovered the prices had soared to 50,000 gp.
"Its absurd ! I was planning our honeymoon and flying over the sightseeing spots.... now I find that prices have gone up 10 times !"
The Wizards Association was sending a spokesman to explain the reasons for this... but apparently his Fly spell didnt last enough and he floated down into the nearby Blood Swamp.
Burglary attempt gone awry -
Late this night mr. Banks hear a lot of noise outside his him. When he went out, he found an unconscious gnome lying the trash in the alley at the back of his house. Apparently the burglar had fallen from the wall he was climbing. Later questioning learned that his spider climb spell suddenly had stopped working. Even more to the burglars surprise though was that the guards even found him. When he was dragged away, he kept screaming "I am invisible, you are not supposed to see me". Mr. Banks though was not complaining about the incident.
Late this night mr. Banks hear a lot of noise outside his him. When he went out, he found an unconscious gnome lying the trash in the alley at the back of his house. Apparently the burglar had fallen from the wall he was climbing. Later questioning learned that his spider climb spell suddenly had stopped working. Even more to the burglars surprise though was that the guards even found him. When he was dragged away, he kept screaming "I am invisible, you are not supposed to see me". Mr. Banks though was not complaining about the incident.
Rashak Mani
First Post
The recent cataclysmic combat seen near the High Wizards Tower last week was only explained recently. Apparently several so called "change resistant" wizards and other adventurers were attempting to stop the new changes happening in the realms. Using powerful magic, arguments and complaining of the economic costs they tried to reverse the process.
Fighting with the Wizards were Gnomish Mechanical geniuses, Gnomes that hate art, Hasted Sorcerors, Buffed up Fighters, Clerics that Buff and Rogues that knew where North was.
The Tower was taken in a surprise assault by a major coalition of mainly Monks, Rangers, Barbarians, Druids and Dwarves. These claim that injustices of the past had been corrected and that they would not accept going back to the old ways. They were helped by Sorcerors who no longer know sleep spell, Fighters who like to Trip, Gnomes that like to sing, Bards that dig Armor and Rogues that hate Read Lips and have trap sense.
The assault on the towers was done mostly by Summoned Animals, Scorching Ray and Short term Buff spells. A group of Double Axe wielding Orcs seemed very happy about using only one feat instead of three as well.
Notable exception in the major battle were the Paladins who arrived soon after the bloodshed stopped... on Foot. Which side they were going to back up is still unknown.
Fighting with the Wizards were Gnomish Mechanical geniuses, Gnomes that hate art, Hasted Sorcerors, Buffed up Fighters, Clerics that Buff and Rogues that knew where North was.
The Tower was taken in a surprise assault by a major coalition of mainly Monks, Rangers, Barbarians, Druids and Dwarves. These claim that injustices of the past had been corrected and that they would not accept going back to the old ways. They were helped by Sorcerors who no longer know sleep spell, Fighters who like to Trip, Gnomes that like to sing, Bards that dig Armor and Rogues that hate Read Lips and have trap sense.
The assault on the towers was done mostly by Summoned Animals, Scorching Ray and Short term Buff spells. A group of Double Axe wielding Orcs seemed very happy about using only one feat instead of three as well.
Notable exception in the major battle were the Paladins who arrived soon after the bloodshed stopped... on Foot. Which side they were going to back up is still unknown.
Voadam
Legend
Archmages everywhere report a sharp decline in the potency of their combat spells with rumors running rampant that it was caused by Thay in an attempt to increase the comparative advantage of their tattoo magic over foreign practitioners the world over.
The Simbul is quoted as saying that "even damn gnoll soldiers are resisting my (now harder to cast) polymorphs some of the time, what is going on?"
The Simbul is quoted as saying that "even damn gnoll soldiers are resisting my (now harder to cast) polymorphs some of the time, what is going on?"
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