[Humor] Your DM needs a break when...

[Falcon]

Your DM needs a break when...you return to play at his apartment a week later and everything was as you left it then--the maps on the wall, the empty glasses and bottles, and the half-eaten pizza on the soggy paper plate.

 

[KarinsDad]

Your DM needs a break when...you return to play at his apartment a week later and everything was as you left it then--the maps on the wall, the empty glasses and bottles, and the half-eaten pizza on the soggy paper plate.

I'm confused.

Isn't this how it always is?

 

[Wuxia]

Your DM needs a break - When every fight that your group has been in for the last 6 sessions have been alphabetical. The beholder didn't kill you, but the D's look like they could start soon.

 

[DM with a vengence]

You know the DM needs a break when it takes longer to generate a character than it does to play them.

You know the DM needs a break when anything less than a TPK is considered a victory.

You know the DM needs a break when all of the place names a curse.

You know the DM needs a break when the average EL is 5 levels above that of your party.

You know the DM needs a break when you are all arbitrarily charmed to fight the other characters, for three straight sessions.

You know the DM needs a break when the characters start having one name and a number (AKA Soveliss #6).

 

[justinsluder]

You know the DM needs a break....when he begins speak of himself as if though he's an NPC.

You know the DM needs a break....when he continually shows up dressed as one of the NPC's, and act's like them no matter what happens.

 

[Sonny]

You know your DM needs a break when all his adventure plots start resembling his real life problems:

Last weeks adventure? It seems good King Azoun of Cormyr has forgotten his wife's birthday. Can the party come up with a way for him to make it up to his beloved queen? Thus saving the him from having to sleep on the royal um... couch for the next month.


This weeks adventure? Lhaeo, Elminster's trusty scribe has been caught going through the Archmage's stash of Playelfs and Sune's of Waterdeep ( Faerun's best underclothes catalog). Should the great wizard banish Lhaeo to his room for the next tenday? Or perhaps, is it time for the archmage to sit the scribe down and have a little talk about the birds and the bees? Only your party can help Elminster through this dire crisis...

 

[Aitch Eye]

When he neither sighs, groans, shakes his head, nor weeps in response to any player during the game.

When the party is speculating on what might be going on and he exclaims: "Ooooh, that's much better! Lets go with that instead."

When he carves his girlfriend's name in dwarf runes on his chest with a razor blade.

When he has to compulsively scrub his hands each time he consults his copies of the player sheets.

When he carves a comprehensive list of famous girlfriends from history, literature, and the lively arts--with extensive notes on primary and secondary sources--in dwarf runes on his chest with a razorblade.

When you inexplicably hear the sound of dice rolling each time he sneezes.

When he plays a tape of a game session to his fiancee because she was curious about what they're like...the one where a very, very tired player decided to start casting Enlarge on various extremities of innocent peasants while quoting Monty Python.

When he claims to have Monte's secret project "in his pants." [Somebody was bound to say it, I just wish it hadn't been me...]

Two of the above examples are true. One other was inspired by reality.

 

[Sonny]

Originally posted by Aitch Eye
When he claims to have Monte's secret project "in his pants."

Sadly, I've fallen for that claim one too many times...

"Lots of icky goodness" is not what I'd call it.

 

[UD]

When every seemingly minor NPC you meet has at least twice your levels, and kicks your ass if you show them disrespect. Meanwhile, nobles and other bigwigs fall over dead if you spit on them. [/B]

Whats wrong with this? *blinks*

When the party is speculating on what might be going on and he exclaims: "Ooooh, that's much better! Lets go with that instead."

Another of my favourites, only I normally do it in jest...

And so this post isn't completly off topic...

You know your DM needs a rest when...
He can't arsed to change the page over for teh next encounter and you end up *fighting* something 13 CR's above the average party level (and no Im not *that* bitter)

In character creation the group ends up been 2 full borgs, 2 guys in power armour... not so unusual for Cyberpunk.... but then this is a 3e DnD...

 

[pontus]

When he declares: "OK guys, this session will be focused on character development. You're in a bar. Hold an in-character conversation." And then leaves. And doesn't come back for four hours.