I am the laziest DM ever

[Emirikol]

Dmf

Monte Cook seems to like this one:

http://www.paladinpgm.com/dmf/

 

[IronWolf]

DM Genie! http://www.dmgenie.com

It rocks the haüs

I'm still in my trial period of DM Genie, but I must say it has been working great. Level ups for characters/NPC's are a snap, just mere minutes to do. Great tool in my opinion.

 

[Nisarg]

I just invent the bonuses I want any given monster/NPC to have in the moment, without the slightest care as to what the stats "should" be according to the rules. Why should I bother with that, I'm the DM!? I'm not going to stop the game for 15 minutes to figure out what a 5th level troll blackguard would be or what have you, I'll just jot down whatever bab, hp, powers, etc I want them to have.

Sometimes I won't even jot it down.

Since my players know that they must not question me, it is never a problem. They feel challenged, and enjoy the game.

The rules are there to control the player, not the GM.

Nisarg

 

[Aust Diamondew]

For assigning NPC ability scores I do several things:
1) Whatever the hell I feel like giving them (Really Really BBEGs, The Dark Lord).
2) 32 Pt. buy. (The Dark Captain(s), Evil Body Guard)
3) Elite array (15,14,13,12,10,8) or 25 pt. buy (Sergeant's of the Legions of Darkness).
4) 3 11s and 3 10s or 13,10,12,8,10,10. (Legionarys of Darkness).

Or something on long those lines. It mostly takes just GMs descretion these are just the guidelines I use when it comes down to it I can and might change everything.

 

[Shadowdancer]

I just invent the bonuses I want any given monster/NPC to have in the moment, without the slightest care as to what the stats "should" be according to the rules. Why should I bother with that, I'm the DM!? I'm not going to stop the game for 15 minutes to figure out what a 5th level troll blackguard would be or what have you, I'll just jot down whatever bab, hp, powers, etc I want them to have.

Sometimes I won't even jot it down.

Since my players know that they must not question me, it is never a problem. They feel challenged, and enjoy the game.

The rules are there to control the player, not the GM.

Nisarg

I'm with Nisarg on this. The NPCs/monsters have what I say they have, not what the rules say they should have. Especially if I'm making the encounter up on the fly. I usually give them the same level, BAB, hit points and AC as the PCS, to make it a fair challenge.

Now if it is a special NPC that goes along with the group, I might "create" him just like a character, and keep track of his skills/feats/abilities etc. But I don't do this for every NPC, nor even for most NPCs.