Paul Farquhar
Legend
I'll share a couple of magic items that are a bit goofy, but they are actually in my game, so they don't go completely over the top:
Branch of the Nether Oak
Weapon (club), rare (requires attunement by a druid, ranger or wizard)
While holding this magic weapon, you gain a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it, and you gain a +1 bonus to spell attack rolls and the saving throw DCs of your druid, ranger and wizard spells. The branch has 7 charges and regains 1d6 + 1 of its expended charges daily at dawn.
Spells. While holding the branch, you can use an action to expend some of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC: Druidcraft (at will), Entangling Strike (1 charge), Guardian of Nature (tree form only, 4 charges), Awaken (plants only 5 charges).
Sentience. The branch is a sentient neutral evil weapon with an Intelligence of 12, a Wisdom of 16 and a Charisma of 12. It has normal vision and sight out to 30 feet. It can speak Plant. Anything it says sound like “I am Grunk” without Speak with Plants. It seeks self-preservation, growing back into a treant, and the restoration of Netheril, in that order.
Sonic Screwdriver
(Wand, very rare, requires attunement).
This small wand-like device functions as a set of thieves’ tools +2 and has 7 charges that can be used to cast the following spells: Knock (1 charge), Arcane Lock (1 charge), Shatter (2 charges). It regains 1d6 + 1 of its expended charges daily at dawn.
Branch of the Nether Oak
Weapon (club), rare (requires attunement by a druid, ranger or wizard)
While holding this magic weapon, you gain a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it, and you gain a +1 bonus to spell attack rolls and the saving throw DCs of your druid, ranger and wizard spells. The branch has 7 charges and regains 1d6 + 1 of its expended charges daily at dawn.
Spells. While holding the branch, you can use an action to expend some of its charges to cast one of the following spells from it, using your spell save DC: Druidcraft (at will), Entangling Strike (1 charge), Guardian of Nature (tree form only, 4 charges), Awaken (plants only 5 charges).
Sentience. The branch is a sentient neutral evil weapon with an Intelligence of 12, a Wisdom of 16 and a Charisma of 12. It has normal vision and sight out to 30 feet. It can speak Plant. Anything it says sound like “I am Grunk” without Speak with Plants. It seeks self-preservation, growing back into a treant, and the restoration of Netheril, in that order.
Sonic Screwdriver
(Wand, very rare, requires attunement).
This small wand-like device functions as a set of thieves’ tools +2 and has 7 charges that can be used to cast the following spells: Knock (1 charge), Arcane Lock (1 charge), Shatter (2 charges). It regains 1d6 + 1 of its expended charges daily at dawn.
