Raven Crowking
First Post
Nope....you gotta go through the book to find them. Which is actually quite fun in and of itself, IMHO.
I need some useless Magic Items.
- Thread starter Oryan77
- Start date
Nope....you gotta go through the book to find them. Which is actually quite fun in and of itself, IMHO.
Are there any Monty Python fans in your group? Here's some stuff that I remember from a module based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail published somewhere years ago. Some of these were meant to be written on paper and rolled up in "scrolls" that players could open and read:
And now for something completely different: The PCs are instantly transported to another totally different adventure.
Coconuts of speed: A coconut cut in half. By banging the halves together to make a sound like a horse galloping, you could increase your speed by some amount. But you get a penalty on charisma roles and it is easy for enemies to hear you coming.
Trojan Rabbit: A large wooden rabbit appears behind the walls of your enemy's lair/castle/whatever. That's all, just a large, empty wooden rabbit with a trap door, but nobody inside it.
Knights who say "Ni!": When you open the scroll (a prop), you read instructions stating that your PC acquires an extreme adversity to hearing a common word like "it" or "the." Whenever your PC hears the word, he cringes and covers his ears, yelling "you have spoken the word we are not allowed to hear!" Of course he can't tell the party what the word is, because to do that he would have to say it.
Brave Sir Robin's Bard: Upon reading a scroll, your own personal bard appears - not the fighting type, just a musician who follows you around constantly and plays songs to accompany your heroic exploits, even when you are trying to be silent, trying to negotiate with someone, etc.
Helm of Taunting: Placing this on the head causes a PC to compulsively taunt his enemies by giving them rasberries, colorfully insulting their mothers, using rude hand gestures etc. - but the PC can do nothing else during combat.
There were more, but I can't remember them now.
And now for something completely different: The PCs are instantly transported to another totally different adventure.
Coconuts of speed: A coconut cut in half. By banging the halves together to make a sound like a horse galloping, you could increase your speed by some amount. But you get a penalty on charisma roles and it is easy for enemies to hear you coming.
Trojan Rabbit: A large wooden rabbit appears behind the walls of your enemy's lair/castle/whatever. That's all, just a large, empty wooden rabbit with a trap door, but nobody inside it.
Knights who say "Ni!": When you open the scroll (a prop), you read instructions stating that your PC acquires an extreme adversity to hearing a common word like "it" or "the." Whenever your PC hears the word, he cringes and covers his ears, yelling "you have spoken the word we are not allowed to hear!" Of course he can't tell the party what the word is, because to do that he would have to say it.
Brave Sir Robin's Bard: Upon reading a scroll, your own personal bard appears - not the fighting type, just a musician who follows you around constantly and plays songs to accompany your heroic exploits, even when you are trying to be silent, trying to negotiate with someone, etc.
Helm of Taunting: Placing this on the head causes a PC to compulsively taunt his enemies by giving them rasberries, colorfully insulting their mothers, using rude hand gestures etc. - but the PC can do nothing else during combat.
There were more, but I can't remember them now.
Belt of the Drunken Master
When worn, the wearer immediately gains use of the Improved Unarmed Combat Feat and all Feats with IUC as a prerequisite.
In addition, the wearer immediately becomes Staggered and Confused. Each subsequent round, the wearer must roll on the table below to determine their condition.
When worn, the wearer immediately gains use of the Improved Unarmed Combat Feat and all Feats with IUC as a prerequisite.
In addition, the wearer immediately becomes Staggered and Confused. Each subsequent round, the wearer must roll on the table below to determine their condition.
- Normal
- Confused
- Dazed
- Fascinated
- Helpless
- Nauseated
- Prone
- Sickened
- Stunned
- Unconscious
innerdude
Legend
It's perhaps a bit naughty, and depending on the type of group you run, it might be inappropriate....
But our gaming group has a long-running gag with a useless magic item called:
*drum roll*
The Gloves of Superior Banking (substitute the "B" in "banking" with a "W," and, well . . . you get the idea).
This item can typically be procured from wandering gypsies, bored nobles with frigid wives, and clerics of particular religious denominations that promote celibacy.
But our gaming group has a long-running gag with a useless magic item called:
*drum roll*
The Gloves of Superior Banking (substitute the "B" in "banking" with a "W," and, well . . . you get the idea).
This item can typically be procured from wandering gypsies, bored nobles with frigid wives, and clerics of particular religious denominations that promote celibacy.
Echohawk
Shirokinukatsukami fan
Page 1589, Table Q: Humorous Items.
TarionzCousin
Second Most Angelic Devil Ever
Aurora's Whole Realms Catalogue.
Some useful stuff, but lots of humorous items, too.
amazon.com's [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Auroras-Whole-Realms-Catalog-Forgotten/dp/1560763272"]page[/ame].
Some useful stuff, but lots of humorous items, too.
amazon.com's [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Auroras-Whole-Realms-Catalog-Forgotten/dp/1560763272"]page[/ame].
Prosthetic Dragon Teeth
Just like the name says, they're false teeth for dragons...
Penguin Suit
A full set of formal attire, when worn, it makes the wearer's face look like a Penguin's.
Invisibility Suit
A full set of formal attire, when worn, the fabric becomes nearly invisible...but the wearer's body is covered by an illusion of a mosaic of flesh-colored squares.
Wonderous Woodwind
This is a class of magical instruments- any instrument that is played by blowing into it can be of this type. When played, they are silent, producing the notes as 1" wooden notes that clatter to the floor in the order they were played.
In the hands of a Bard, they do not interfere with performing Bardic music & magic, but non-magical performances face a -10 modifier against being properly appreciated.
Just like the name says, they're false teeth for dragons...
Penguin Suit
A full set of formal attire, when worn, it makes the wearer's face look like a Penguin's.
Invisibility Suit
A full set of formal attire, when worn, the fabric becomes nearly invisible...but the wearer's body is covered by an illusion of a mosaic of flesh-colored squares.
Wonderous Woodwind
This is a class of magical instruments- any instrument that is played by blowing into it can be of this type. When played, they are silent, producing the notes as 1" wooden notes that clatter to the floor in the order they were played.
In the hands of a Bard, they do not interfere with performing Bardic music & magic, but non-magical performances face a -10 modifier against being properly appreciated.
On Puget Sound
First Post
Minor Ring of Invisibility: This ring is invisible. It exists, but you can't see it. It's magic!
alternate Minor Ring of Invisibility: When worn, the finger it is on becomes invisible.
Gandalf's Fireworks: when lit, they make a spectacular display in the sky.
Sleeping Bag: A cloth sack that emits a loud snoring sound. Anything you put into it (an animal, a magic item) "goes to sleep" - becomes inactive for 8 hours or until removed from the bag.
alternate Minor Ring of Invisibility: When worn, the finger it is on becomes invisible.
Gandalf's Fireworks: when lit, they make a spectacular display in the sky.
Sleeping Bag: A cloth sack that emits a loud snoring sound. Anything you put into it (an animal, a magic item) "goes to sleep" - becomes inactive for 8 hours or until removed from the bag.
Bold or Stupid
First Post
Trident of Fish Command.
That is all.
That is all.
David Howery
Hero
I think the most (unintentionally) useless magic item I remember was from the 1E module "Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan". There was a kind of Aztec sword that had a bonus vs. gas spores. You remember what gas spores do when you hit them, right? They BLOW UP! You DON"T WANT TO HIT THEM! What the hell good is a sword that has a bonus to hit them?!
Similar Threads
