I used to LIKE third edition...

I'd say that the OP is falling into the same trap WotC marketing fell into - promoting the new by trashing the old - something that pissed quite a few of us off, by the way. It doesn't take much to spin it as "3.x did it this way, but I think 4e does it better" rather than "3.x was broken, 4e fixes it" but it makes a pretty big difference.
I think this particular factor is truly at the heart of the fundamental disagreements that have saturated the boards.

During the build up to 4E, I became addicted to the ideas that were being spun out of the WotC laboratories regarding all of the ways they intended to address the issues that they had identified with 3E. Some of these issues were things that already bothered me, some of them were items I had never before noticed but certainly bothered me once they were brought to my attention, and a few were issues that simply never bothered me because I used utilities or style elements that made them irrelevant.

I was persistently enthusiastic about the coming release, even to the point of forcing enthusiasm when it became obvious that the manner in which the designers had addressed most of these issues were considerably less compatible with our gaming style than I could ever have anticipated. I've tried to discuss this... and found some very enlightening discussion here on the boards... but I was also attacked for "hating" on 4E.

*shrugs* No mystery here. As serious gamers, we invest a lot of ourselves, our time, our money, our social patterns, the manner in which we identify with the world, in the games that preoccupy us. There is certainly no singular pursuit I have ever discovered that even begins to compare to roleplaying as a hobby. We're a unique people with a unique set of experiences to help define us. To say that our faith in our game systems' ability to perform to our needs is of significance to us is a gross understatement.

I still play 3.5E, but my experience with WotC's changes have damaged my relationship with the core system. I've made adjustments, some inspired by the new rules, some by Pathfinder, quite a few inspired by other books I own, like Monte's Experimental Might PDFs and Arcana Evolved. It's a work in progress. Most importantly, my players are supportive and enthusiastic in their experimentation with my new rules.

So my point is, the manner in which the WotC dream team publicly dissected the prior system to build the new one... obviously an important element of their "marketing" strategy, given that it was important to convince the 3.x players that 4E was the way to go... did a lot to invest me in their new idea, which was ultimately unequal to our needs.

This made it... tough, I suppose, to accept. Gracelessly, for many.

Worry not, Remalthis. This, too, will pass.
 

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Yeah, getting worked up over an Internet post is a sure sign you need to step away from the keyboard for a couple days. But how do you deal with "edition wars" in your own gaming group? I don't care what random Internet guy says is good or bad about edition x, y or z. But what my friend and gaming partner of 10 years thinks is important. I do care what he thinks. So how about giving that advice? What do you do when you find yourself building edition x by slamming edition y to your friends? It's a valid concern I'd hate to see lost in this thread of anti-flamewar advice.

Perhaps this is the key.

I think I get my feathers ruffled not when I see a 4e-opinion or flamebait thread, but when after reading and responding to it, I get the EXACT same arguments from my game group. Its like being flacked on two sides, and it begins to makes me want to lash out worse at randomdudeoninterent because I can't lash out at dudeIplayathomewith.

In essence, one feeds the other, which feeds it back, and by the time I explain my position and everyone has shared theirs, we have camps and wire trenches up.

I guess its a deviation from the original post, but what do you do when the anti-edition flamewar permeates your game table?
 

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