Yes. I only game with adults. Most of them are 20 ish, or right around 30 or so.
I find age and maturity are not always correlated.
I doubt many of them know. They get told things by other players and reading the internet. And as "everyone" in their social group says and believes it...whatever it is....they must do so also.
I've only run into this issue when it comes to rules interpretations or expectations regarding whether a game is more thespian or crunchy tactical in style. The examples you give are so far outside of my experience IRL or online that I feel you must have stumbled into a strange pocket culture of players.
I'm talking about Altering Game Reality as part of the players Wish Fulfillment and Easy Button desires. When the Buddy DM/Player Advocate DM alters the game willing as the players want.
Well, that's part of being a DM. The only sticking point I see here is "Easy Button". Some discussion is needed to calibrate how challenging you are going to want to make a game. From my experience with most Adventurer's League and convention games, many players would not like playing in my home game. But I'm fortunate to have a group of players interested in playing in the kind of difficult and deadly campaign I'm interested in running.
DM: "you see the locked vault door and the two iron golem guards"
Player: "AAAa...DM that is too hard"
DM: "Oh...um, you blink and see the vault is unlocked and there is just one sleeping goblin guard!"
Yuck. I've never encountered players that expect that level of accomodation. Nothing wrong with playing like that if you are into it. You, obviously, are not into this style of play and should set expectations and may need to find different players.
Or like if the player does not like traps...the DM gives a nod and "yes player" then never ever has any traps in the game
That's more reasonable. I wouldn't enjoy DMing such a game, but I can understand why some players may not be into games with lots (or even any) traps. Personally, I'm a little like this with mazes, at least how I see most of them run. I've come up with a various home-brew subsystems to make mazes less of a boring grind. But I also avoid using mazes too often.
Or when the character hits for four damage...and the player wants to win....so the DM just crosses off the 102 hp and says "oh your four points of damage kill the giant!".
Seems like these players would like to play a very different game than D&D. They'd probably be happier with a more narrative, collaborative story-telling indie game. I bet these annoying D&D players would be fun InSPECTRE players.
A good enough base example. But your example is a Dice Deflection type (where the DM can "claim to do nothing" behind a roll of some dice). In my game, more things happen on the DM Whim Type game (the DM just decides what happens).
I'm more of roll the dice in the open and let the dice fall where they may style of DM. But you can't play D&D without a certain amount of DM whim. I don't think either style would necessarily help with the kinds of players you are describing.
Ok, now this more in line what I was asking. It's also a good example of altering game reality. To start with the two base lines:
Mine: It's rare to the extreme for bandits to just "go away". Bandits want to kill and loot: it's their way of life. In general, you can't just "say" something to the bandits to make them leave. Not that it's impossible.....but it's rare.
Fair enough. In my last campaign, the bandits would ambush PCs when they were making their way back from the dungeon and very low on resources. They've lost loot and magic items to keep their lives. I'm sure that this would not go over well with many players. I'd likely ease up on this with a different group of players.
The Other Side: Bandits are silly and pointless. Anyone can get rid of bandits, or anyone else, just by speaking a couple of words and persuading them to leave.
Well, not everyone wants the game to be combat focused and playing the bard who can talk his way out of any situation is not an invalid way of playing. Personally, I am fully open to a huge helping of cheese in my game. If you roll well enough with the dice, I'll roll with it with the role play.
So rules wise I think it would be at least hard DC 20 to persuade bandits to just "move along and don't attack us". While the 'other type player thinks the DC should be easy, like below 10.
I the DC is below 10, I'm not sure a roll should even be necessary.
Though I'd also note Persuasion is not the ability to use vs bandits. Persuasion, by the rules, is only for "When you attempt to influence someone or a group of people with tact, social graces, or good nature" That does not fit a group of bandits. The 5E ability to influence a group of bandits is: Intimidate.
I disagree. There should be multiple avenues of success. Persuasion, trickery, deception are all legitimate things to try.