My comments will be in BOLD
Rule 1: Cut the game session down to the good bits, get rid of the filler. D&D is currently designed to have many small encounters and then one big encounter per game session. The small encounters are boring. They exist only to a) provide a sense of scenery and mood, b) whittle down the party's resources and c) fill up time. In D&D fourth edition, there will be one combat per session, and it will be a kick ass cool combat. What will fill the rest of the session? Roleplaying! This metaphor extends to other aspects of D&D as well. No more will there be four or five traps in the dungeon level. There will be one trap and it will require an entire scene, careful thought and planning to get past, not a simple Disable Device roll.
Whats stopping you from doing this now? The CR system? D&D has always had the orcs guarding the door, the ogre guarding the treasure, and the dragon at the end with the good loot. Heck, some of the "classic" D&D modules and adventures (Keep on the Borderlands) was NOTHING BUT small skirmishes. My games at home average only 1-2 combats per game currently, but the DM makes up with story-award. The rest is spent in exploration, travel, NPC contact, and mysteries. Thats using 3.5.
Rule 2: Give players options not plusses. A fighter, over the course of her 20 levels, gains 11 fighter feats (plus those for level and race). They can almost all be described as: feat a) get a plus, feat b) do this manuever without incurring an AOO. Now, one thing I have learned is that players will almost _never_ deliberately incur an AOO (unless it's from a vastly weaker opponent, see Rule 1). So the fighter ends up by 20th level with 5-6 options (bull rush, feint, etc...) and a bunch more plusses. In fourth edition, there will be many, many more options. A third level fighter will have 5-6 combat maneuvers that he can try out, with no AOO. Apply Rule 2 to magic as well. A 20th level wizard gets, what, 5 metamagic feats? If they don't take any item creation? The third level wizard in fourth edition will have at least five metamagic options right up front.
What do you suggest? The current system makes using certain techniques (disarm, bull-rush) viable even to wizards in dire enough circumstance, but makes Fighters the lords of them. Pluses are always easier to assign than new concepts. What I think you want is a feat that reads "You can fight with two-weapons. Each is at -2 to hit. Unless you have this feat, you cannot fight with two weapons."
Rule 3: No required classes. The nice thing about one combat per session is that it makes the cleric no longer mandatory. If you survive the combat, you can probably get to a temple and find some healing. So no required cleric. Also, no required thief (i mean rogue). Anyone with the proper skills and intelligence can learn to disarm traps. In fact, you can start a game with four characters who are all of the same class. The prestige class system will differentiate them as they grow more experienced. Plus, they will have different options in combat and spell casting (see Rule 2).
Your generous if PCs in your game can return to friendly local priest for healing after each boss monster. Granted, the core four mentality is a long established (and unbroken) part of D&D from when Gygax introduced the thief class. I suggest grabbing Unearthed Arcana and looking at the GENERIC CLASSES, they allow for lockpicking casters, skilled diplomats without magic, and warriors who can sneak with the best of them.
Rule 4: Characters are not their equipment list. If your high level character is stripped naked and left out in the middle of the desert, he should still be able to kick ass and take names. He might have to go hunt down and kill the guy who took his grandfather's sword, but other than that, he's cool. Magic items are rare, powerful and they _all_ level up with the user. In other words, they take time to master, and they increase in power the more of their secrets you can unfold. A third level character won't have any. A tenth level character will have maybe two. The party spellcasters can still make all those one shot magic items, potions, scrolls, magical arrows and the like, but they won't last forever. So the party will actually use them, not horde them in their multiple bags of holding. Oh, and no more bags of holding
But... They've taken ALL the fun out of killing things and taking thier loot!
A 20th level fighter, naked, can probably kill 20 some orcs with the jawbone of an ass by himself by virtue of his feats, BAB, and HP. While the current rules assume you have a suite of magical gear, SO DID THE OLD RULES!!!! (Anyone remember "+1 Weapon or Better to Hit"?)
Honestly, your sick of the class system, the combat focused XP, the magical item dependance and the distinct lack of loot. I highly suggest you avoid D&D in any way, shape, or form. You might have better luck with GRIM TALES, or even STORYTELLER/EXALTED. They seem to fit the tone of the game your looking for. No version of D&D, at least one that stays true to its roots, ever will.