In love

[Silly]

Here's a question which has caused me to shy away from bringing romance into the game: how should the DM handle PCs falling in love?

In my game, if two PCs want to have a romantic relationship they can; but what about relationships between PCs and NPCs?

Is it OK for the DM to tell a player that his or her character is in love with an NPC? I can see two sides to this:

1. We can't control who we fall in love with. So it's reasonable for a PC to have feelings beyond his/her control.

2. On the other hand, would it be fun for the player? What if the player hates the loss of control this gives him/her?

Have you played or DMd a campaign where a PC fell in love with an NPC, and if so, was it the DM's or the player's call? How did it work out?

 

[Skade]

Have you played or DMd a campaign where a PC fell in love with an NPC, and if so, was it the DM's or the player's call? How did it work out?

Romance has played a large part in many of my games. I have never forced the concept on a character, and think doing so would be unfair to the player, and really would make the whole concept somewhat pointless. Generally, if I intend on using romance in the game I try and create situations that will inspire the character towards getting to know the NPC as something more than just an objective in the game. I bring up personality quirks, and anecdotes that the character will find interesting, or create an almost antagonistic role where the two learn more about each other than they may prefer, and thus a relationship builds despite initial dislike. My players have been quite good at taking the initiative and building detailed relationships with most plot based NPCs, so the steps necessary to become romantic are not really a stretch. Also, if I intend on romance being a major part of the campaign, I speak to the players before the story begins, and find out if anyone volunteers for the role. The most difficult thing in using this as a plot element I think is actually saying "I love you" to your unshaven, chain smoking gaming buddy across the table, who is far from your dream woman (or man as the case may be).

 

[hunter1828]

Is it OK for the DM to tell a player that his or her character is in love with an NPC?

I wouldn't tell the player his/her character is in love with an NPC. I'd let it be clearly known what the NPCs feelings for the PC are, then let the PC/Player make the decisions.

1. We can't control who we fall in love with. So it's reasonable for a PC to have feelings beyond his/her control.

To a certain extent, we can. Otherwise, we would be falling in love with someone new every 10 minutes or so.

Have you played or DMd a campaign where a PC fell in love with an NPC, and if so, was it the DM's or the player's call? How did it work out?

In my current primary campaign I have two NPCs that are in love with two different PCs. One couple is married, the other just long-term relationship. It was a mutual decision on both parts and has added wonderfully to our games.

hunter1828

 

[BSF]

I wouldn't force Love on a character. If that waas an interesting direction to go, I would offer opportunities for the character, but nothing that removes control from the player.

Now, this isn't to say that I won't remove control from the player when the character is charmed! You know, something like "Her voice is like the voice of angels andinspires the deepest love you have ever felt. she calls to you, inviting your embrace. You walk forward, oblivious of the 500 foot cliff you are about to drop off of." Then worry about the second Will save granted to the character charmed by the harpy song since they are about to throw themselves off a ledge. That is something I would do. Of course, that isn't quite the same thing, even though they are falling in love.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

Is it OK for the DM to tell a player that his or her character is in love with an NPC? I can see two sides to this:

1. We can't control who we fall in love with. So it's reasonable for a PC to have feelings beyond his/her control.

2. On the other hand, would it be fun for the player? What if the player hates the loss of control this gives him/her?

Have you played or DMd a campaign where a PC fell in love with an NPC, and if so, was it the DM's or the player's call? How did it work out?

I would say no.

Most people of a certain age do have a grasp on their emotions and can control who they fall in love with. I (and most people I know) have been attracted to people but realized they had some sort of problem or issue or personality quirk I could not deal with, and thus am not in love with them. Lets say you meet someone who is kind, caring and attractive but they are an absolute bore to be with? You are initially attracted to them, but you'd probably be able to control falling deeply in love with this person because you knew it would never work out. Does that make any sense?

If the PC decides it, then I don't see a problem with it, since they know their character and they know better who their character would be attracted to. The DM can push the matter , maybe, by having the NPC make the first move, so to speak, but the initial decision to stay with this NPC in a long term relationship should be the PCs to make. The player is supposed to control the PC's decisions, not the DM, unless there is something, like a spell cast on them, that the PC can't control.

I also suppose it also depends on your definition of love. Do you mean that the person will be a lifelong part of the PC's world ? Or do you just mean they have a brief relationship, be it a couple of nights of fun or what?

Is this feeling returned by the NPC? Is the PC a known flirt? DO they do this every other week as part of their personality? I think relationships between PCs and NPCs can be a good role-playing tool, but you also don't want one PCs personal life to eat up all your game time, either.

 

[diaglo]

double post. sorry.

they are so in control of their emotions they can't control how they post.

 

[Umbran]

1. We can't control who we fall in love with. So it's reasonable for a PC to have feelings beyond his/her control.

2. On the other hand, would it be fun for the player? What if the player hates the loss of control this gives him/her?

The character may not be able to control their feelings, but the player sure as heck can. There is little to no point in telling a player that their character is in love, unless the player agrees to go along with it. If they don't want it, they simply won't play it, and it will mean absolutely nothing.

 

[TalonComics]

It's really up to the player on pretty much *any* direction they want to go when it comes to dealing with NPCs. I'm the kind of GM who loves lots of different NPCs making them with their own agendas and patterns. If a PC takes an interest in one that makes it all the better.

On a related note: If you're the kind of GM who feels the need to "roll for pregnancy" if my character or any other character has a sexual encounter then you're the kind of GM I have no interest in playing with.

~D

 

[Voadam]

Here's a question which has caused me to shy away from bringing romance into the game: how should the DM handle PCs falling in love?

Is it OK for the DM to tell a player that his or her character is in love with an NPC?

Only under a few limited circumstances.

A DM should not tell a player how he feels or what he thinks, he should give the pc information for the player to react off of.

However, if you want it to be a background factor that you have worked out with the PC, that would be fine.

Also the DM is completely within his purview to have supernatural effects that can drive a character to feel a certain way, perhaps you have a love spell, potion, or cupid type arrow. Then it is up to the PC to roleplay out the situation.

This is how charms are handled in our campaigns. Normally you decide whether someone is your friend or not but when my good loremaster got mass charmed by a Vrock I immediately began making arrangements to ally with him to hunt down a Kyton we knew was running around the dungeon, and I almost convinced the party paladin it was a good idea before our arcane trickster used a dispel magic on me.

I always find it annoying to be told what I think or feel, but if it is a game effect I find it an ingame roleplaying challenge and not an attempt to usurp my control of how I play my character.

 

[Wombat]

One of my characters (back in Pendragon, ergo terribly appropriate) fell desperately in love with the NPC wife of his liege lord -- this was something that the GM asked me to join in on as the NPC and my character were already close. I thought it was good for my character and good for the game. This wasn't so much "forced love" as "suggested love" and, under the circumstances it both worked and made sense.

I have, as a GM, seen characters fall in love either with each other or with NPCs; equally I have had NPCs fall in love with PCs, sometimes requited, other times not.

It's funny, but love is often a touchier issue for gamers than piles of gore, torture, or gross mayhem.

Personally, I prefer the love