Insult me bay-bee!
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Gez
First Post
Depends on what you face. For elves, for example:
"Careful with those ears of yours, you could hurt someone."
"It must be practical when it's windy, to have ears on which you can skewer your hat."
Dwarves:
"Lookout, your facial mullet is falling!"
Orcs, Goblins, Kobolds, etc.:
"You need plastic surgery badly. Have you thought about getting reincarnated?"
"Careful with those ears of yours, you could hurt someone."
"It must be practical when it's windy, to have ears on which you can skewer your hat."
Dwarves:
"Lookout, your facial mullet is falling!"
Orcs, Goblins, Kobolds, etc.:
"You need plastic surgery badly. Have you thought about getting reincarnated?"
Thornir Alekeg
Albatross!
"The sound of your blade passing through empty space is very unnerving. Could you please try and hit something?"
"That's a nice tunic (cape, shirt...). Any suggestions about how to wash out your blood when I take it from your corpse?"
"That's a nice tunic (cape, shirt...). Any suggestions about how to wash out your blood when I take it from your corpse?"
My first suggestion would be to check out the works of William Shakespeare. His plays are loaded with some of the most entertaining and biting insults I know. I can also suggest reading "The Three Musketeers" by Alexandre Dumas, a source of great swashbuckling fun and excellant insults.
I myself have a great many insults that I use when performing at several Renaissance festivals. I would have to grab my cheatsheet to give you all of them. One of my personal favorite ones is, "Sirrah, thou art more course than pine bark hose."
I myself have a great many insults that I use when performing at several Renaissance festivals. I would have to grab my cheatsheet to give you all of them. One of my personal favorite ones is, "Sirrah, thou art more course than pine bark hose."
"If you'll be so kind as to wait right here you might have an easier time with my grandmother. --- No? That's fine, she's not available anyway."
"Word around town is your mother's just like a horse ... guys are hopping on and off her all day long."
"Simpleton! It's not 'feint, stumble, thrust.' It's more like 'feint, spin, mop your brow, pierce the heart.'" <Then demonstrate.>
"If you prefer not to lose too much blood I can switch to my wooden training sword."
Of course, all this is particularly more poignant after you have dealt a good blow. Timing is eveything, afterall. Additionally, actions speak louder than words some times. It might be most offending to fight with your weapon in one hand and a handkercheif in the other to mop your brow. Or hold some food in your off hand and taunt them while fighting and eating at the same time.
durin
P.S. My apologies to anyone offended by the mother joke.
"Word around town is your mother's just like a horse ... guys are hopping on and off her all day long."
"Simpleton! It's not 'feint, stumble, thrust.' It's more like 'feint, spin, mop your brow, pierce the heart.'" <Then demonstrate.>
"If you prefer not to lose too much blood I can switch to my wooden training sword."
Of course, all this is particularly more poignant after you have dealt a good blow. Timing is eveything, afterall. Additionally, actions speak louder than words some times. It might be most offending to fight with your weapon in one hand and a handkercheif in the other to mop your brow. Or hold some food in your off hand and taunt them while fighting and eating at the same time.
durin
P.S. My apologies to anyone offended by the mother joke.
You are a fat loser with body oder.
At night, when the moon is full, do you turn into a wereturd? 'Cause you seem about half-way there already.
Yo' momma's so ugly, troll's gotta put on beer-goggles before they'l do her.
Yo' mamma's so fat, she broke her leg and black pudding came out - 'cause it was trying get get away from her.
Yo' mamma's was so fat, when the red dragon went to eat her, there was left-overs for the next two days.
That yo' face, or you wearing a lich's butt on yo' head?
At night, when the moon is full, do you turn into a wereturd? 'Cause you seem about half-way there already.
Yo' momma's so ugly, troll's gotta put on beer-goggles before they'l do her.
Yo' mamma's so fat, she broke her leg and black pudding came out - 'cause it was trying get get away from her.
Yo' mamma's was so fat, when the red dragon went to eat her, there was left-overs for the next two days.
That yo' face, or you wearing a lich's butt on yo' head?
WmRAllen67
First Post
From the Department of Random Historical Facts...
Possibly the most insulting thing you could say to someone, in the Medieval/ Renaissance Period, was "You, sir, are a liar..."
Certain to get you a duel...
Possibly the most insulting thing you could say to someone, in the Medieval/ Renaissance Period, was "You, sir, are a liar..."
Certain to get you a duel...
Ambrus
Explorer
I once played a gnome with a knack for taunting and insulting NPCs. To quickly generate insults at the table I used the following table of insults based upon old Elizabethen slang. Enjoy.
Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":
1. artless base-court apple-john
2. bawdy bat-fowling baggage
3. beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
4. bootless beetle-headed bladder
5. churlish boil-brained boar-pig
6. cockered lapper-clawed bugbear
7. clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
8. craven common-kissing canker-blossom
9. currish crook-pated clack-dish
10. dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
11. dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
12. droning doghearted codpiece
13. errant dread-bolted death-token
14. fawning earth-vexing dewberry
15. fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
16. froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
17. frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
18. gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
19. goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
20. gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
21. impertinent fool-born gudgeon
22. infectious full-gorged haggard
23. jarring guts-griping harpy
24. loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
25. lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
26. mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
27. mangled hell-hated jolthead
28. mewling idle-headed lewdster
29. paunchy ill-breeding lout
30. pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
31. puking knotty-pated malt-worm
32. puny milk-livered mammet
33. quailing motley-minded measle
34. rank onion-eyed minnow
35. reeky plume-plucked miscreant
36. roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
37. ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
38. saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
39. spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
40. spongy rude-growing pignut
41. surly rump-fed puttock
42. tottering shard-borne pumpion
43. unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
44. vain spur-galled scut
45. venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
46. villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
47. warped tickle-brained varlet
48. wayward toad-spotted vassal
49. weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
50. yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou":
1. artless base-court apple-john
2. bawdy bat-fowling baggage
3. beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
4. bootless beetle-headed bladder
5. churlish boil-brained boar-pig
6. cockered lapper-clawed bugbear
7. clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
8. craven common-kissing canker-blossom
9. currish crook-pated clack-dish
10. dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
11. dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
12. droning doghearted codpiece
13. errant dread-bolted death-token
14. fawning earth-vexing dewberry
15. fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
16. froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
17. frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
18. gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
19. goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
20. gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
21. impertinent fool-born gudgeon
22. infectious full-gorged haggard
23. jarring guts-griping harpy
24. loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
25. lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
26. mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
27. mangled hell-hated jolthead
28. mewling idle-headed lewdster
29. paunchy ill-breeding lout
30. pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
31. puking knotty-pated malt-worm
32. puny milk-livered mammet
33. quailing motley-minded measle
34. rank onion-eyed minnow
35. reeky plume-plucked miscreant
36. roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
37. ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
38. saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
39. spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
40. spongy rude-growing pignut
41. surly rump-fed puttock
42. tottering shard-borne pumpion
43. unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
44. vain spur-galled scut
45. venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
46. villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
47. warped tickle-brained varlet
48. wayward toad-spotted vassal
49. weedy urchin-snouted whey-face
50. yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
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