Internet Romance: Dream or Reality?

[dreaded_beast]

Do you think it is possible to have a real/mature romance through the Internet?

I have read a few articles and have heard through word of mouth, about many individuals that have meet through various Internet resources, ranging from chat rooms to MMORPG.

However, I am curious as to whether or not these relationships last for the long-term. Many of these Internet couples, so I have read, have never met face-to-face and only do so once there is a permanent commitment involved, such as marriage. I'm sure some of you remember the couple that met through Ultima Online then got married, but only saw each other face-to-face for the first time on their wedding day.

In my opinion, I consider these Internet relationships similar to long-distance-relationships: sometimes they work, but more often than not, they don't.

Thoughts?

 

[Akrasia]

Do you think it is possible to have a real/mature romance through the Internet? ...

No.

Go outside and talk to real people.

It works better.

 

[Turanil]

In my opinion, I consider these Internet relationships similar to long-distance-relationships: sometimes they work, but more often than not, they don't.

Thoughts?

From what I have seen (at least in France), seeking a mate through the Internet is in most cases doomed to fail. It's not just something I did read, but something I have seen people experience around, and myself also, err... For example: I know two women who are actively searching on the net, and both are cute (especially one) and also good-tempered. Now, it must be known that on the net there is one woman for 5 to 7 men. So the two girls meet many men, but none of these men really want a true relationship (you guess what they just want then leave). And when you are a man, you have a hard time encountering any woman.

People who really want relationships go out in real life and meet people for real. Those who seek on the Internet may be genuinely interested in finding someone, but often unconsciouly don't want to. It took me time for me to realize that I really don't want a relationship, it was just Nature inside wispering to me "Hey, look at this girl, isn't she cute?!".

 

[I'm A Banana]

Like long distance relationships is a good way to describe them. They're tough to pull off, especially without the person right there. And they're tough to do at first -- fanboys are a very real fear for a lot of girls, and coming on too strongly (in some opinions, coming on at all without seeing them IRL is coming on too strongly ).

But the perscription isn't nearly as dire as some might think.

First, let me say it is undoubtedly better to try it face to face...that stuff's guaranteed to work. The online relationship is a lot touchier.

But I've discovered happiness through it.

I've known her for 10 years, and while until recently it was never a 'relationship' (just kind of a mutual desire without any real possibility), it did last for nearly a decade. Now as we're getting able to meet, I've been careful NOT to make too much out of it. A lot can happen upon first sight. But by knowing her for 10 years, I know her really well.......just like she knows me, I'd think. And by not making it a relationship until we can meet, we're still free to see other people, etc.

Basically, I'd say it's quite possible. But it's certainly not common. And it's certainly not for everyone. And it's more a matter of the exposure to new types of people than it is anything else. If you find someone, you click, and you owe it to the thing that could be to explore it fully. Just like most other relationships, distance and personality conflicts crop up a lot. But if you've both been interested for a decade, well, it's no different than falling in love exchanging letters with a pen-pal. It's definately rare. But it's also definately possible.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Do you think it is possible to have a real/mature romance through the Internet?

In most cases, no. Nearly every internet romance I've witnessed has failed (sometimes spectacularly). You might find somebody you enjoy talking to, and they might send you a flattering photo of themself, but it's hard to really get to know somebody when most of your communications with each other consist of emails, instant messages, and phone calls.

The one exception I've seen involves a two people who are now engaged. They met over the internet, but traveled back and forth to see each other many times before they got engaged, and they seem quite happy with each other. They're both currently working and saving their money so they can relocate and begin their new life with each other. However, they definately seem to be the exception rather than the rule.

Myself, I actually go out and try to meet girls. I've had a few flirtations with girls over the internet, but to me they're far less satisfying than actually doing it in person.

 

[poilbrun]

A friend of mine has married and has had three children with a woman he met online. They have now been living together for about 10 years now... I don't know if there was much internet romance going on, or if they met quickly after encountering on the net, though.

 

[orchid blossom]

In my experience, internet romances work much better when the people involved weren't looking for romance. I talked with my SO online for about 2 years before I took a vacation and went out to meet him in person. He later came out to see me, and I eventually moved. We've been together in person for 4 years now.

 

[Umbran]

I think one thing we must remember is that relationships are hard, in general. It doesn't matter much where you meet, getting romance to blossom isn't easy. Getting it to work in a medium that doesn't allow as much expression (lack fo vocal intonation, for example) sure won't make it easier.

 

[Aeolius]

I met my wife on AOL, back when I was a "PubTend" in a chat room called LaPub. We chatted online for months, dated for several months (she lived 3 hours away), we moved in together, then got married. We are coming up on 11-year anniversary and have three children.

 

[Ferret]

My brother found someone online, and they're happy.