Got it
Haagenti, M Celestial Bugbear Sorcerer2 CR 4; Size:M Type Humanoid; Hp 22; Init -1; Spd Walk 30'; AC 12 (flatfooted 12, touch 12), *Taster of Souls +5 0'/P (1d8+6 20/x2 Both M (Trident +5)) or *Taster of Souls (Thrown) +3 10'/P (1d8+6 20/x2 Both M (Trident +5)); SA: Summon Familiar, Smite Evil 1/day, Cold,Fire Resistance 5; Vision: Darkvision (60'), AL: LE; Sv: Fort +1, Ref +2, Will +4; Str 12, Dex 8, Con 11, Int 11, Wis 10, Cha 11 Skills and Feats: Alertness, Weapon Proficiency: Trident ;Climb +3, Concentration +4, Hide +3, Listen +3, Move Silently +5, Spot +3; Simple Weapon Proficiency Possessions: Trident of Eating +5; Sorcerer: (6/4) 0-Arcane Mark, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Ray of Frost ; 1-Mage Armor, Mount
Concept: A big old shout out to Sepulchrave’s Morne story hour, which inspired this pre-fall character to be played in a sort of legendary game, set long ago and far away, before the fiends fell.
There is a saying in the heavens:“He who sups with Geryon had best use a long spoon.” Not that there’s anything wrong with Geryon! He sits at the table with Moloch and Belial and that Titivulus fellow…you know the group. It goes God, that new Human thing he’s created, and then them. Lucifer hangs around with them sometimes.
Anyway, Geryon loves his food. He loves everyone else’s food too. He has some special long handled utensils made so he can even scoop food off your plate when you sit across from him. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Geryon has a weird sense of humor. But that’s you need a long spoon when you sup near him so you can recover things from his plate.
Geryon’s fork-bearer is from his demesne in the Lachrym Moors, overlooking the Styx sea. His name is Haagenti. The inhabitants of the Moors are these things called bugbears. They don’t really have anything to do with bugs or bears: that’s just what they’re called. Now the Moors are an…interesting place. Really. The high salt content of the Styx means everything gets salty or brackish (or both) within twelve hours. All the food is salty, clothes get salty, skin gets salty: it’s kind of obnoxious if you don’t like salt.
So Geryon thought up a clever plan. He’d get his forkbearer to go out and wander around with his fork. He’d lay a magic on his fork that would transfer the taste and goodness out of whatever it was stuck into and transfer it to him. That way he could get fresh food every day even if he had to be stuck in his castle.
The very next day Haagenti found himself leaving the castle and walking inland to find something that looked tasty and poke it. Three bananas and a phoenix egg later, Geryon was tremendously satisfied with his breakfast. He ordered Haagenti to keep on going.
As Haagenti summoned a horse to carry him along his way, he had an troubling thought.
“I’m carrying Geryon’s fork on a quest. All I am now is something to devour things with…like one of those fish…”
“A shark?” Lucifer suggested.
Haagenti jumped three feet in the air.
“You know, you’re really not like a shark at all. Geryon’s the shark. You just help him taste new things. There’s nothing wrong with it, Haagenti. God made the shark, and he wouldn’t make anything wrong, would he?”
“Nnnooo…”
“Well then there can’t be anything wrong about being a shark. In fact, you should try to be a sort of shark yourself.”
“I should?”
“Yes…a loan shark.”
“What’s a loan shark?”
“It works like this, Haagenti. You do something nice for someone…say, give them money. That’s good, right?”
“Yes.”
“The trick is, you ask the people you gave the money to give it back later, along with some more money.”
“If they have to give it back, it’s not very charitable.”
“Right, but then you take that money they gave back to you and give it to someone else. That’s charity again: another good deed. Now that money has been used for two charitable purposes instead of one. You’re doing twice as much good with one bit of money. That adds up after a while, you know.”
Haagenti nodded. “That’s clever, Lucifer. Thanks for the idea.”
Lucifer shrugged. “Pas de probleme. But don’t let them keep the money, or you lose all your leverage.”
Haagenti nodded again. “They’ll pay up or be punished for stopping charitable works.”
Lucifer grinned. “That’s the spirit!”
