While I don't disagree with the meat of your post, I feel the need to add a caveat here.Ultimately, It's up to the players and the game master to work within the rules to turn the game into what they want out of it.
While certainly the GM and players should try to use the rules to make what they want... if the system just does not support the type of play they want, then they're up a creek without a paddle.
Wealth in 3e/4e D&D is built purely as an arbitrary system of balancing what magical items are balanced for your level. The minute you try to apply that system to anything else, it falls apart, because the wealth system doesn't make sense for that. The same with "I want courtly intrigue", when the non-combat social rules breaks down to just single rolls of Bluff/Sense motive or Diplomacy vs. DC. You might as well use just use Paper/Scissor/Rock; it's just as robust.
My point is that if the system doesn't support the play the group wants, then it's unfair to assume it's the group's responsibility to make it work with the rules they're given. There is only so much you can do before it's a square peg/round hole situation.