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[JOKE] Paraprosdokians

Legatus_Legionis

< BLAH HA Ha ha >
[FONT=&quot]The first time I heard about paraprosdokians, I liked them. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]1. Where there's a will . . . I want to be in it.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ... but it's still on my list.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]3. Since light travels faster than sound . . . some people appear bright until you hear them speak.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]4. If I agreed with you . . . we'd both be wrong.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]5. We never really grow up . . . we only learn how to act in public.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]6. War does not determine who is right . . . only who is left.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]9. I didn't say it was your fault . . . I said I was blaming you.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, notify . . . ." I answered, "a doctor."[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]13. I used to be indecisive . . . but now I'm not so sure.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit . . . the target.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]17. I'm supposed to respect my elders . . . but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Spread the Laughter,[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Share the Cheer,[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Let's be Happy,[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]While we're still here![/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
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