Lamest character deaths ever!

[ironmani]

My worst death? I was playing a 9th lvl rogue and scouted ahead for the party. Since I was to be out of sight, I couldnt comunicate with the players as not to tip off the enemy. So there was alot of note passing. Long story short. The party was getting antsy and told the DM that they had spells, crossbows and bows at the ready. (A Cleric, Mage, a Fighter and Ranger) I start coming back around the corner to tell the party what I found. The DM then tells me to make two reflex saves, which I fail, and get hit by, a flamestrike, a lightning bolt, a crossbow bolt and a crit hit and regular hit from the ranger. - 10, dead. I sat there for a second, then the Mage said, "Uh....sorry about that." and then just busted a gut laughing. Tears were rolling down my cheeks I was laughing so hard.

 

[Heinrich_Uberlich]

Just recalled two more, from the a player who played the lamest wizards ever.

Wizard #1: Decides to sneak off alone to search for treasure while invisible. Finds and evil temple and enters. Steps on a glyph of warding. ZAP. Fails save. Instant death. Party never found him.

Wizard #2: Party enters a room and meets and beholder mage. The wizard invisble and flying spots some treasure on a ledge above and flies up to it. During the combat the beholder mage having Detect Invisibilty on spots the wizard and fires a ray at him. Invisble wizard standing on ledge to the side fails save. Turned to stone. While still invisible.
The party having no other spell casters takes treasure and assumes wizard was disentegrated. They were really good at keeping character and player knowledge seperate.

 

[cdtaylor_nats]

I once played a mage in a game where a really annoying player had a 7th level Fighter. He was attacked by something called a Volt which kept zapping him every time he attacked it with a sword. Eventually he grabbed it by the tail and while it shocked him continually he yelled at me to fireball it saying he would survive.

I've never rolled all sixes before - he died.

Oh and Volts - immune to fire damage

 

[Altamont Ravenard]

I can't say I have had very lame deaths. I have had a multiple of boring and meaningless deaths, I don't know if they qualify...

- We learned that an aboleth laired in a cavern not too far away. We go in, somewhat prepared. The party fighter gets dominated, and hacks the rest of the party to bits. The bard runs away.
- Got attacked at night by (a random encounter of) displacer beasts. If we had been prepared, we might have taken them out, but surprised at night, without the possibility of escaping (the displacer beasts could outrun us), it was a near TPK (the same bard, who knew Expeditious retreat, got a chance to flee).
- Died twice because of a Symbol of Death. "ok we go down this corridor". "You die". "ok, we go in that room". "You die".
- Died fireballed to death (it only took 2) when my diviner, who couldn't swim, was stuck on a boat going 5' per round while a sorcerer, on the shore, was tossing spells at us. I also didn't want to dive because I would have lost my spellbook anyway. I would have become even MORE useless than I was at that moment (4th level diviner in a low-magic campaign where the other characters were 7th+).

That's about it.

AR

 

[Mark]

Had a player once and his character contracted a disease but absolutely refused to believe that a disease could kill a player character. Wouldn't accept a cure from a cleric in the party, as if to dare me to let a player character die by a disease.

I did.

He died.

The player quit.

I asked the other players if I should call him and try to invite him back, even to apologize if necessary. The players told me if I did they would all quit rather than play with him again. The campaign went on to last a few more years.

Somehow we struggled on without him...

 

[Elrik_DarkFury]

Rogue 9/Assasin 3 really proud of his character and his ability to.. u know,kill people with his blowgun remaining hidden,gets himself killed the following way.On a really good placed set-up he uses one of his "special" poisons and his blowgun to kill a really strong bad guy.On the surprise attack he rolls 1 and then again 1.The Dm decides he swallows the poisoned ammunition(he actually kind of sipped that stuff instead of u know,blowing ) and seconds later he dies out of lethal con damage,because he failed the fortitude save of his own poison!!!
I ll never forget the look of his face and the laughing we had.

______________
The Wizard

 

[Ogre Mage]

Lame deaths

1. Here's one which I suppose which has happened to everyone at some point ... the joys of being critted by a goblin when you are 1st level ...

2. Our cleric was frustrated at his ineffectiveness so he tried to b!tch slap (unarmed attack) a huge earth elemental with his 12 STR. Yes, you heard me correctly. This, of course, drew an attack of opportunity which killed him. :\

3. Our party walked into a room of complete darkness which was actually an enlarged sphere of annhilation.

4. Not a death, but awfully close: *FoF Spoiler*

Our ranger got critted by the Animated Table in the Forge of Fury and knocked down to -7. Luckily the cleric managed to save him in time. Nevertheless, how embarrasing -- he got schooled by a table!

 

[Brother MacLaren]

We were playing a whimsy game. 40th level characters and all that. I was playing the wizard. So, it took me like 12 hours to write up a 40th level wizard with all the spells, items etc... First round of combat I take a thousand points of radiation damage. Up to that moment radiation damage didn't exsist, so I hadn't taken any protection spells. 12 hours of creation, two minutes of play. UGGHH

Okay, I've heard a story about a radiation dragon from someone I used to game with back in California, who is from Washington, has a fondness for magic, and who thinks I was too hard on magic and mages as a DM. All things consistent with your posting. Have we gamed together in the past? Just way too many things making me think I know you. Sorry there's no other way to ask.

 

[Django]

Way back in the days of yore, I played a dwarf tank in a game of GURPS. The little bugger was nigh unkillable. He waded through his foes like a foul tempered lawn-mower.

Alas, when I constructed him, I gave him a phobia. I forget how many points it was worth, but it ended up being his undoing. He was afraid of large bodies of water. He hated crossing rope bridges over rivers, travelling by boat, that sort of thing. I figured that since he was always wearing heavy plate armor, a phobia against bodies of water wasn't such a stretch. Seemed reasonable at the time.

So anyway, one day, the GM rolled on his random encounter list he had hidden in his binder and came up with my dwarf's nemesis: a random flash flood. My dwarf panicked, slipped, and failed an unfortunate succession of 'calm the hell down and stand up' rolls and drowned.

The little bugger died in 2 feet of water.

 

[Chimera]

Two events that I almost allowed to happen at the start of my last campaign.

1: Campaign starts with the characters, 1st level, on the run from the devastating destruction of the training camp in which they grew up. In the initial write-up, their characters manage to evade wizards on dragons, a force of trolls and a skirmish line of bugbears, all of which are more than a match for the PCs, because older, more senior types sacrifice themselves to help *someone* (ie, the young) get away from what is an overwhelming defeat.

The write-up continues with the PCs waking up in a wooded patch where they had all collapsed in exhaustion, to see a bunch of others stupidly cooking breakfast around a campfire. Dragons come in and kill the lot of them. The whole thing is a setup to establish that the PCs are 'on the run' and in extreme danger.

So...what do they do? Well, the initial response is to want to turn back toward the army that they just ran from. No, that's suicide folks. So they run parallel to it, despite my hair-pulling attempts to get them to see that this is NOT A GOOD IDEA.

All day long, they have to stop and hide as wizards on dragons fly overhead. They at least have the good sense to do this.

That night, what do they do? Light a campfire...

NO NO NO NO NO.

"Ok, the NPCs try to stop you and, failing that, they run away, saying you are suicidally stupid" Sure thing, the players insisted on the fire. So I gave the players a choice. a> Throw away your character sheets and come up with new ones, b> Give up on the whole idea of this campaign, or c> GET THE CLUE and not only not light the campfire, but FREAKING RUN AWAY ALREADY!!!

So, after several days of moving AROUND the army and watching everyone get killed around them, they're running from a bunch of Bugbears. Dwarf Ranger gets separated, runs the wrong direction and crests a hill to see the backside of a Beholder. I give it to him that the thing doesn't initially see him. What does he do?

"I attack".

WHY? "I figured you wouldn't throw anything at us that we couldn't handle.". This from a long-time D&D player. *sigh* Guess you haven't been paying attention, have you.

"Ok, I'll give you one more chance. a> Come up with a new character; b> go home and don't come back; c> RUN AWAY ALREADY!!!"