"Laming up" non-compound monster names!

[Aberzanzorax]

Gelatinous Cube = Spongebob Squarepants

 

[Mark Chance]

Blink Dog = Disappearing Reappearhound
Displacer Beast = Not-There Tentaclepanther
Elephant = Fan-Earred Snakenose

 

[Set]

These are hilarious!

Stone Giant = Rockhide Tallperson
Otyugh = Dungeater Tentaclemonster
Rhinocerous = Dire Unicorn
Pixie = Butterflywing Tinyperson

 

[Tuft]

Gelatinous Cube = Spongebob Squarepants

You clearly have found the inspirational source of the recent D&D naming convention...

 

[w_earle_wheeler]

Rat = Browncoat Battlevermin

 

[DreadPirateMurphy]

Under "Human" in the Monster Manual:

Fighter: Steelplated Swordswinger
Wizard: Spellpower Magicman
Rogue: Darksneak Backstabber
Druid: Treehugger Pseudopriest
Paladin: Godsworn Stabmaster
Bard: Musedriven Enchantercaster
Sorcerer: Flexicaster Genemage
Ranger: Beastrage Specialfriend
Monk: Closedfist Nakedbasher
Warlord: Inspirefury Battlenoble
Cleric: Divinelinked Faithagent
Barbarian: Bordercrossing Herobasher

Pirate: Seaborne Scurvythief
Noble: Luckybirth Powerman
Bandit: Sneakyhurt Badperson
Cult Leader: Weirdworship Hatemeister
Merchant: Wanderweave Greedypants
Slaver: Evilmaking Freedomtaker

"So, your Godsworn Stabmaster figures out that the Wanderweave Greedypants is really an Evilmaking Freedomtaker? What do you do?"

 

[Mark Chance]

"So, your Godsworn Stabmaster figures out that the Wanderweave Greedypants is really an Evilmaking Freedomtaker? What do you do?"

"I jump on my Shodhoofed Knightbearer and try to run him through with my Longreach Sharpstick!"

 

[Electric Wizard]

Elephant = Legface Tuskmonster
Centipede = Creeping Platebug
Aboleth = Oozefish Slaverlord
Cockatrice = Stonebeak Lizardhen
Coutl = Righteous Rainbowsnake

 

[Psion]

An bit OT, but I think a big part of why these are bad is simply because we are not used to them. As a non-native English speaker, some of the monster names started out completely ridiculous, but after being exposed to them for years they become quite acceptable.

Sure, but that's a bit of difference of perspective in and of itself. Fewer English speakers speak second languages and we appropriate foreign words as-is, so the perception is a bit different.

I think doppleganger is a cool name for a creature when untranslated, but I think "double goer" would be pretty lame.

In other news, this thread is made of win.

 

[Cyronax]

I'm still bored:

Mimic = Stickybox Lurkmorph
Krenshar = Stupidface Dungeondog
Night hag = Bonydark Badgranny (!)
Pit Fiend = Musclefire Whiplord
Succubus = heidi montag
Girallon = Rendfang Snowmonkey
Bebilith = Skewerdevil Spiderlord
Wyvern = Steedserpent Pohdragon
Lammasu = Redundantlion Lamelord
Roper = Cavetentacle Mastermind

Ok, how about some reverse portmanteaus?

Shardmind = Galeb Kor (a cousin race of the galeb duhr with roots in D&D history). In fact they could be holdovers from the Dawn War.

Phb 3 -- essential diet of minerals (shardmind), white meat (githzerai), and plants (wilden), but too much red meat (minotaur).