I think all this needs is a race:
TOLKIEN ELF:
Racial Bonus: +1000 Cha, +30 Dex
Racial Ability:
*Badass Elf: I'm an elf, and I can do anything that's cool and suave and stylish automatically, without a roll. This includes, but is not limited to: being badass with an bow and arrow. Being badass with a sword. Being badass when dwarves are near. Being badass by walking on top of the ground. Being badass by jumping around. I can make women swoon, though guys think I'm a wussy. that's alright, they think that about all beautiful men -- I know it's jealusy.
P.S.: Dwarves suxxor! Rawr!
P.P.S.: Plus, I'm imortal
YOU GOT IT!
I know it's probably too much to hope for, but I want to see Gimli get his comeuppance. I think the battle at Helm's Deep is perfect for that -- the dwarf wins in their little contest! Show him jumping up into the air, cleaving orcs in half, taking more arrows or blows than Boromir and still swinging and laughing about it. Show him tossing blades like a chef at a ritsy oriental restaurant, turning those goborcs into Shashimi!
Personally, I like how D&D has shied away from "ELVES ROXXOR!" especially in 3e....nothing annoys me quite so much than a baised opinion with proof.
I'm not against elves rockin'. I just want to see everyone else rockin' too. Durn show-offy elf ninja! raoar!