Let's read the entire run

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 227: March 1996


part 8/8


TSR Previews: The forgotten realms takes twinkitude to 40th level, 10 more levels than generic characters can manage, in Faiths and Avatars. As if gods weren't scary enough. It also gets Realms of the Underdark, another collection of short stories giving drow fanboys some more material to consume, and Tangled Webs by Elaine Cunningham, the second book starring the exiled drow princess Liriel. Busy busy busy.

Planescape gets Uncaged: Faces of Sigil. You've already had the general guide. Now you can get more full stats and relationships between characters. Oh go on then. More generally useful but not essential stuff.

Ravenloft sees Van Richten's ghosts come home to roost in Bleak House. And then he may well become a ghost himself. In any case, this is another big metaplot event, with a fairly substantial amount of railroading crap involved. Be ready to acquire derangements, possibly lose stats permanently, and deal with long spells of tension building bits trapped in fixed locations. Not suited for hack and slashers at all.

Mystara finishes off it's current book series with Dragonmage of Mystara. The good guys and the bad guys have to join forces to deal with the even worse guys. Sounds fairly familiar.

And our generic book is Den of Thieves. Do we not already have a complete handbook for this class. What do you have to add to the pot, huh?


The current Clack: This year continues to be the one that really changes the roleplaying landscape, mostly for the worse. GDW shuts down, giving the rights to most of it's games back to their original creators. It's better than bankruptcy, but not by much, and still means Traveller isn't going to get any new books for ages. Meanwhile we get some more elaboration on why White Wolf engaged in substantial layoffs, despite the fact that their sales are still increasing. Just like TSR in 1983, they'd been expanding beyond their means, and living large like they were going to keep increasing exponentially in profits forever. Goes to show, at least a few people got to live like rock and roll stars for a while from roleplaying. But now they have to learn to be a sensible company if they want to survive long-term. Bah. Adulthood sucks. So it's not all bad news, but it is still a bit dispiriting. You can only be carefree and happy-go-lucky if someone else is taking care of things for you.


It's definitely becoming less of a struggle to review this year than it was the last one, but once again, there is a good deal here to be bored and/or unsettled by. The gaming landscape in general is shifting in uncertain fashions, and they're not sure whether to experiment more, or retreat into safe territory, and as a result are trying to do both at once in a manner that's tentative and lacking in confidence. Which doesn't quite work. Better to go out with a bang than a whimper, and at the moment it feels more like a fizzle. It all makes me want to move on to better times all the faster.

 

[Richards]

The ecology of the Osquip: ...We see said sages bicker, theorize, and aim snide remarks at one-another. And make poop jokes. Oh yes.

And thus the Monster Hunters Association was born.

Johnathan

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 1/8


124 pages. Ahh, once again it's april. Spring is starting to be sprung, flowers are starting to bloom, and you can just bet you'll be squirted with water if you sniff the wrong one. And although they aren't leading with them, it does look like they're not skimping on the goofy choices this year. Gotta keep a brave face on, even if the only jokes you really want to make are gallows humour. On we go.


In this issue:


The wyrms turn: It used to be conventions were mostly concentrated in summer, (weather being better for travel, plus you can bring your kids, since they aren't in school. ) As the world gets smaller, and the geek population ages, these become less of an issue, and we can enjoy stuff like Winter Fantasy. However, what seems initially like a slice of life recounting like Roger used to do actually turns out to be primarily another tool for promoting their Official RPGA Tournament Games™. Bait and switch! I find this vaguely insulting, but also very telling. They're not just restricting their new RPGA recruitment drive to it's column, they're going to put it in the editorial, and quite possibly the letters page as well. The last traces of resistance to the idea of the magazine being purely a TSR house organ are being eradicated as we speak. This definitely makes me grumpy. The contrast between the old staff, who'd been part of the company for years and had a less formal relationship with their colleagues is not as obvious a change as many, but it is part of the tonal shifts they've made. And it does make it seem like the relationship is more master/servant and less bunch of guys trying to make a living out of a fun hobby.


D-Mail: A letter from someone wondering what the hell a flumph is. You don't know what you're missing out on. No, really. They're brilliant. One of the old skool classics like rust monsters and green slime, only friendly. Don't diss the flumphs.

A rather long letter complaining about Skip's ruling on the Frisky Chest. Skip is unrepentant. People trying to apply magic scientifically should not be surprised at all when things don't work the way intended. Magic is based upon exceptionalism, not formula, and that is what makes it different from physics.

Yet another person singing the out of print blues and asking for the magazine to repeat stuff. No. You can pay the price and mail order them the hard way.

Someone wondering what has happened to the rest of Krynn during the 5th age. Buy all the stuff we have planned now, or you'll never find out! One continent is enough work for now. Which is their worldbuilding in general. They call it that, but they never get anywhere near complete at worldbuilding, even if they make the world substantially smaller than earth. There ought to be a better way.

Another letter from someone who wants to submit their stuff to to TSR. That's 4 issues in a row. This really is getting out of hand. Is this what they have to put up with all the time? I can see why that would wear on the sanity.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 2/8


Real jungles: Hello again, Mr Detwiler. I see you've done your research and want to show up a few people's misconceptions again. Is that worth putting in pole position? Actually, yes, as it's a very interesting topic, as it's a great place for adventures, while also being counterintuitive enough to someone raised on media portrayals that you can get it completely wrong easily. Some of these can be worked out via examining more conventional forests and applying logic, such as the fact that while the vegetation is really thick and verdant on the edges, once you get past that into areas where sunlight is blocked out, it's surprisingly empty and quiet. What's less intuitive are the somewhat disturbing ways life can parasitise off itself, growing intimately interconnected as things compete to get more sunlight, and thus more energy to grow Grow GROW! It definitely doesn't make for neat right angled walls and flat floors that are easy to draw maps for. Tricks like how to blend in with the animals, the way the diurnal cycle becomes even more critical without significant seasonal variations, and the dangers that are mainly a problem for nonnatives, with their excess clothing and flashy, easily detected and rusted metal equipment. This is presented with a pleasantly conversational tone with some neat bits of humour slipped in. The main thing that raises my eyebrows is a reference to their Living Jungle campaign, yet another bit of subtle RPGA promotion. Still, I suppose that's a further positive in their book, so this does indeed deserve to be first, as it's both entertaining any useful in any system.


Final Quest: For two years, we've had people talking about their first game. Wouldn't one about people's last games make just as much sense. Well, we're in luck! April fool. Roger Moore finds the time to tell us about the amusing ways characters have died in games he's known, and also some ways in which they haven't, but it would be really embarrassing if they did (so don't go getting ideas ) He also takes the piss out of the silly red triangle graphic, but that's merely an aside in a massive barrage of schadenfreude that is oh so aware of the game's tropes and how to subvert them. After all, long years of reading letters from the magazine mean he knows more than nearly anyone how people are actually playing their games, and the stupid things they think are cool. This is indeed pretty hilarious. Let anyone trying to play a half-elf who's grandfathers are Drizzt and Elminster and dual wields staff/swords be warned. The DM can always find new ways of killing you, and if they can't the other players can.


101 uses for a (wet) blanket: Remember the Miller Milk Bottle? (issue 51) I said at the time that it was a pretty blatant rip-off of Douglas Adams' hitchhiker jokes. Well, here's an even more blatant one. Why? Who knows. April fool. This does exactly what it says on the tin, giving you another example of just how versatile a seemingly innocuous household item can be, while also making quite a few bad jokes. And just like the original, about the best response I have is Oooookay. They say that when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, so what does everything look like when all you have is a blanket? Or a bottle. Or a spoon? Answers can be sent in written or sewn on a blanket please.


The Athalantan Campaign: Ooh. Milieu opening time again. The Forgotten Realms is already the most detailed and furthest ranging campaign setting in terms of geography and variety of environments by quite some way. But of course, as in reality, every expansion reveals a new frontier. New continents have dropped off in recent years, but they can't keep just repeating the same places again with different perspectives, so what are they do do? Historical settings! The realms already has quite a few prequels, and Elminster's origin story has driven up demand for details of the past quite a bit. And Ed Greenwood is all too enthusiastic to help, with 9 pages on the long destroyed country of his youth and it's notable people and events. As befits a country ruled by mage-kings, most of the significant NPC's are spellcasters, which means the tendency for them to seem the most important part of the setting (maybe because they're the ones telling the story to the writers of this world ) is even more exaggerated than normal. It does seem a pretty interesting place to adventure, and of course, you'll have a freer rein to avoid running into canon than you would in the present day Realms. And even better, it isn't an obvious real world analog of something. While not as fizzy as many of his articles, this is a pretty ambitious one that once again shows us new things to do with the Realms. Once again he's produced something that I really enjoyed consuming on it's own, that also fits into a larger picture and makes the world ever more complete.

 

[Erik Mona]

Dragon Magazine Issue 227: March 1996


part 8/8


TSR Previews: The forgotten realms takes twinkitude to 40th level, 10 more levels than generic characters can manage, in Faiths and Avatars. As if gods weren't scary enough.

I always sort of looked at this book as a very high point in the creative development of the Forgotten Realms. This thing was used HEAVILY in the RPGA's Living City campaign, and all of the little cultural details in this book brought a lot of life to characters I encountered when traveling around the country playing in the campaign around this time.

The follow-ups, Powers & Pantheons and Demihuman Deities, were also quite good, but got more tertiary and less "tenderloin" as far as the gods went and were thus a bit less interesting overall. As a Dragon-appropriate side note, most of the gods in Demihuman Deities were culled from Roger E. Moore's original Dragon magazine article series of the same name.

When they tried to rekindle the magic in 3rd edition with the hardcover Faiths & Pantheons (by original series co-author Eric L. Boyd and yours truly), most fans seemed to prefer the original Faiths & Pantheons for its focus on mythical and cultural detail rather than the "you can kill Thor" stats-based focus of the newer book.

--Erik

 

[Orius]

Final Quest: For two years, we've had people talking about their first game. Wouldn't one about people's last games make just as much sense. Well, we're in luck! April fool. Roger Moore finds the time to tell us about the amusing ways characters have died in games he's known, and also some ways in which they haven't, but it would be really embarrassing if they did (so don't go getting ideas )

And this was my introduction to the flumph. I'd already seen it before, in 2e's reprint in the MC annuals, but I paid it no heed. But when this article exposed me to the player humiliation potential, I admit that I've made a few attempts here and there to use flumphs lethally.

Roger's games sound like fun. He's got a sick and twisted sense of humor it seems (like sending the PC's to Winnie the Pooh's world), and I approve.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 3/8


The dragon's worstiary: Chocolate golems are very much a paper tiger. They may look big and imposing, but they're just so YUMMY! that you're unlikely to find them a challenge. Om nom nom nom. April fool.

Chia Golems give you another means of surprising stupid adventurers. Terrifying animated topiary! Make sure you take good care of them, or they'll grow into just a big blob of greenery, and that won't be good for their mobility.

Plush golems are genuinely creepy, although they'd be even more so if they could grow and shrink as needed to the situation, thus allowing then to be more innocuous when not needed. They react to the subconscious desires of their owners, which we all know is just a recipe for trouble. So these may be a joke, but they can certainly be used in games that are mostly serious. Which I suppose is a fairly optimal combination. People will certainly remember this one over the articles surrounding it.


All in the family: Ah yes, involving your family in adventures. Another of those things that's really cool if it works, but has the potential to go horribly horribly wrong, especially if they players aren't invested enough in the reality of the world (or if they have crafted an elaborate backstory featuring them, and the DM just ignores that for a cheap plot device or refrigerator moment. ) So incorporating family only really works in a long-term game where they have chance to make an impact over extended time periods both IC and OOC. Otherwise, they might as well just be wandering loners anyway. That said, if it works, it can be brilliant, so don't get discouraged because many have done it badly, just as you shouldn't give up on trying to build healthy relationships and a family because you've failed repeatedly in real life.


Network news: Big crossover event time! Raven's bluff is under siege and needs lots of adventurers to help defend it. Become a hero and maybe even influence what happens next! Ah yes, how very very 90's. In a way, I miss this kind of ambition. And then I remember why it went out of fashion. Metaplot is hard enough when it's top down. When it's dictated by the results of tournaments, as was also done in L5R, it can just seem nonsensical all too easily. Which makes this another cool sounding advert that has some rather interesting and strange implications if looked at a little closer. It is nice that they're trying to involve us in an ongoing storyline, but that puts a heavy burden on us and them to get it right. Will they manage it without the Drama Llama getting involved OOC? Were you part of this big event? If so, what did your character do in it?


AD&D Triviathlon: In another instance of promotion which makes me go Huh? they promote last month's triviathlon again. Call the clue hotline at 90 cents a minute if you're having trouble with the answers! Oh dear. That does make this seem rather like a blatant cash grab. Sure there are prizes to be won, but any well-planned competition of this kind will ensure the income is well above the expected costs, and this is just one way to do that. So this ups the tackiness rating of this little business quite a bit. I do not approve.

 

[Orius]

Chia Golems give you another means of surprising stupid adventurers. Terrifying animated topiary! Make sure you take good care of them, or they'll grow into just a big blob of greenery, and that won't be good for their mobility.

I've always wanted to use these for some reason. Maybe because it's the sort of thing that seems like a real monster and not as much of an obvious joke like the other two entries.

 

[(un)reason]

Dragon Magazine Issue 228: April 1996


part 4/8


Rogues gallery: Gangsters of the underdark? It looks like it's time for an article that's theoretically usable, but would be out of place in all but the most goofy of campaigns. April fool. Have fun spotting the bad puns and references, since prohibition era gangster culture is not one of my geek specialities. Dear oh dear. :sigh: Whatever will they come up with next?

Gnormahlenvaey "Squeaky" Catonerihn is an incredibly annoying voiced gnome who is rather insecure about his height, and makes preemptive jokes about his mother. The kind of NPC that makes players really happy to kill them, in other words. Who's da april fool now huh?

Vikhrumn "100 Gold" Coil is a beholder that always levitates a sharp suit and gangster hat around him, and "rubs out" people for the above quoted price. The assassin's guild might like to have words about that, but they're still recoving from the 2e cartel breaking, and how do you backstab something with 11 eyes anyway? Maybe poisoning his drink would work.

Brikhalana "Dutch" Ipprszhen is the very model of a refined mind flayer gentleman, with handlebar tentacles and a gambling habit that's made so much easier when you can read and control minds on a whim. I wouldn't want to frequent a bar run by someone like that.

Felyndiira "Mad money" Shi'narrvha is a misanthropic race traitor drow who uses polymorphed wolverines as her personal bodyguards. Oookay. That's very specific indeed. What the hell are the references on this one?

Grey'shivnarien "the fiddler" Taliain is an insane drow in clown makeup who's fiddle can shoot poison darts. Again, I'm not entirely sure what the joke is, but I am scared. Clowns are scary enough when they're sane and not playing music at you.

Sir Elliot of Kness is (Of Course! ) the trenchcoated and fedora'd guy who has to hunt down all these undesirables. The means he uses to accomplish this may jeopardise his paladin status, but hey, someone's got to clean up the underdark. Do you have a better plan?


Role-playing reviews: Throwing Stones is a somewhat odd attempt to incorporate CCG design into roleplaying. You character is defined by a selection of dice, and of course you will need to buy at least one set per player, and quite possibly do some trading to get the character you want. It's CCG elements mean it's fun in PvP, but player vs GM challenges are a bit dull, and the worldbook is just incredibly generic. You'll have to play to it's strengths if you want to make this work.

Chronomancer leaves Rick pretty much baffled by the rules details. It looks cool, and the writing is authoritative and convincing, but damned if he could run it as written. One for high crunch game lovers only.

Guardians is another CCG review. It's well illustrated, amusingly goofy and fun to play, but probably too crunchy for it's own good. Not a complaint we're unfamiliar with. The game designers need constant reminding to KISS if they ever want to be kissed in real life.

 

[Orius]

Sir Elliot of Kness is (Of Course! ) the trenchcoated and fedora'd guy who has to hunt down all these undesirables.

He also has the most groan worthy entry as well, being obviously based on real life Probition agent Eliot Ness. Forthright Band of Investigators? Jayed Garhoov'r?! Ugh.

I also note with amusement that part of your review of the first April issue of Dragon I read just happened to be posted on April 1. Nice coincidence.