Dragon Magazine Issue 129: January 1988
part 3/5
Sage advice is absolutely huge this month. This is what happens when you skip them. You wind up having to binge later on. Everyone knows that aint healthy.
How should you divide experience (Equally amongst everyone, even if they died or were lazy bastiches. Other methods promote competitive play, and may result in bad blood. And we can't possibly risk that in the new safehappy family friendly TSR.)
How much damage does a two handed staff do. (Same as it ever was. This is not your beautiful 3.5)
What is a concealed door (one hidden by having something put in front of it. It's like a secret door, only an amateur production.)
Can a good creature be convinced to join an adventuring party. (Hmm. Can you convince a good creature to tag along with a bunch of random humanoids for some indiscriminate killing and looting. Tough sell. )
How do you get yellow mold spores out (neutralize poison. For even the toughest toxins. )
When can you exchange ability scores (Only during character generation. And really, you should just roll a new character instead. S'not like they're hard to come by in BD&D )
Can crossbows hurl rocks? Can clerics use them if they do (yes, no. We don't want to mess with established game balance. Clerics'll have to stick to slings. )
How long is a round (10 seconds. Doesn't that make waay more sense than AD&D's minute long ones. )
How do you determine how fast you move. (Encumbrance table, mutha




a. Do you use it. Honestly. Skip swears that if he see's one more person ignoring encumbrance, Skip is gonna kneecap that bitch. )
What's the difference between chain mail and plate mail (Do the books not have diagrams? Is Skip gonna have to carve one on your chest?)
What's the difference between different races of elves (None. This is D&D, not AD&D. That would be way too fine a granulation for a quick pick up and play game. )
If elves are such great archers, why don't they get a bonus. (Again, you're thinking of AD&D, not D&D. The two are completely separate games, and we have to keep them so, otherwise Dave Arneson will sue us. )
What is encumbrance (What are you, some kind of computer with no experience of the real human body. Pick stuff up. See how much you can carry before you can't walk. That's encumbrance. )
When you use a wand of magic or enemy detection, who can see the glow. (everyone, including the creature detected. Violence may ensue rapidly)
Which monsters have infravision (Nearly all of them. It really isn't fair on humans, is it.)
Do you turn to stone if you see a medusa using infravision (Yup. No weaseling out that way. )
Can you see undead with infravision (probably. Even cold bodies don't radiate heat quite like the surrounding air. As for the insubstantial ones, it would be entirely in genre for them to artificially chill the air around them )
Can you see invisible things with infravision (no. It's be a bloody sloppy spell that only affected the visual spectrum. That'd be the kind of cut price variant Bargle would sell people. )
Can you use a mirror to look around a corner with infravision ( not unless it's made specially. As infra red is of a longer wavelength, it diffuses into objects more readily, plus the longer the wavelength the lower the resolution of fine detail in general. But enough of real world physics. What place does that have in a D&D game? )
Do character levels equal hit dice for purposes of calculating how something is affected (in most cases. We'll probably think up some arbitrary exceptions at some point.)
Can you copy spells from scrolls into your own book (yes, but this erases the scroll. Conservation of something is at play. Not sure what exactly.)
What's the penalty for using a weapon forbidden to your class (none, you just can't do it. It's like asking out a really hot girl. No matter how much you'd like too, you just can't make that move. And then you watch the bloody jock do it no trouble and you're left wondering why and how. Bitter, Moi? )
What's the highest level (36 for humans. Other races generally have lower limits. )
What's the best saving throw you can have (2. Failure is always an option.)
What does 2 in 6 mean (Are you Dense? Are you retarded or something? I'm the Goddamn Skip Williams. Roll a d6. if you roll a 1 or 2, you succeeded. How much simpler do you need it?)
Why aren't there rules for half-breeds (Again, simplicity. To squeeze the game into 64 pages, you need to leave stuff out)
How many Hp do you regain when you eat (none, this is D&D, not a computer game. )
How do you determine hit points (What is this, the remedial class? What happened to the hard ones about specific spells and social contracts. Skip so does not need this. )
How much food does a pack of iron rations have (A weeks worth. Not a very nice or satisfying weeks worth, though. )
Can you turn a stoned character back (yes, but you'll need a 12th level wizard to help you out. This may not be easy, depending on how rare high level characters are. )
How much Xp are rats worth (1. A good ratcatcher could gain several levels in a year. Don't underestimate your NPC's)
What's the AC of a sprite (5. I can't even be bothered to rant about how dumb you are this time. )
How long does a potion of gaseous form last (same as any other. 7-12 turns. I'm now going to be an idiot, and forget the difference between rounds and turns. Oopsie daisy)
Do area attacks hit automatically (yes. You're doomed. This is why smart teams treat their wizards like artillery)
Which weapons can halflings use (Any that are small enough. It's not some arbitrary absolute restriction like the spellcasters have to deal with. )
How do you run missile fire (Same as melee. If they're in range, shoot. If you hit, roll damage. Skip would be happy to demonstrate using you as a target, because skip is not having a good day. )
Can you restore hit points without magic (You get 1 hp per day of rest back. Getting better from being sliced up takes a lot of work in D&D)
Are holy symbols magic (no, but clerics can't cast spells without them. They're like a catalyst in chemistry. Or a beacon so your god doesn't forget where you are and to grant you spells )
Are creatures that need magic weapons to hit immune to paralysis (not nececarily)
Can you get a benefit from one gauntlet of ogre power (No. If one gets eaten by the washing machine, you might as well throw the other one out)
How many charges do rods have (none. They aren't like those one trick wands or flashy exhaustible staves. Rods can go on and on and on. Yeah baby. Who's the daddy now then?
What's the encumbrance of a magic item (normally the same as a normal item of the same type)
What's the Xp value for monsters (calculate it using the table. It's easy enough. )
I don't understand why you need to keep track of time ( You're gonna have a tricky time getting on in life then, and get fired from jobs pretty damn often. Knowing who is where doing what when is vital for maintaining a consistent universe. This can not be stressed enough. Write it down, because it's less stress than trying to remember everything everyone has done and intends to do. )
What do you keep when you become undead or lycanthropic (DM's choice. What you don't get is to keep them as a PC. They're a monster now, raaar. )