EricNoah
Adventurer
Hey there,
As some of you may know, I recently came to a disturbing realization that I was no longer enjoying RPGs the way I once did. That realization came toward the end of a summer with very little gaming action -- and when I did finally get to DM my campaign, I found there was no joy left. Learning/discovering that a major part of my life was over was a serious blow to me. I had a day of sheer panic, and a then weeks of soul-searching before I really, truly realized that (at least for now) DMing is a thing of my past. It was like a part of me died. It was like the future me that I had always had in my mind was dead. And even now I miss the idea of D&D in my life. I certainly feel like I've lost touch with my players and that it might be a long, long time before I see them again. I'll miss that the most.
I am now in the process of trying to re-define what it means to be "me." What my copious spare time is now for. What activities beyond gaming I might enjoy. My biggest weakness is my fear of failure, and I predict that finding a new hobby will be a challenge due to this weakness. I have lost about 20 lbs this summer and am in the best shape of my adult life. I don't want to backslide in this area, so for sure one of my new "hobbies" is simply to maintain my health through diet and exercise. But I have found that I am not eating quite as healthily nor exercising quite as much, so I really need to work on finding a physically active hobby or activity that I can do frequently.
I don't know why I'm sharing, other than the fact that a) it helps me clear my mind and organize my thoughts, and b) just sharing a life change with friends makes me feel better and helps solidify it in my mind. Mourning is an appropriate reaction to a life change of this magnitude, I believe. And then getting back up and dusting myself off is the next important step, and I think I'm up to the challenge.
As some of you may know, I recently came to a disturbing realization that I was no longer enjoying RPGs the way I once did. That realization came toward the end of a summer with very little gaming action -- and when I did finally get to DM my campaign, I found there was no joy left. Learning/discovering that a major part of my life was over was a serious blow to me. I had a day of sheer panic, and a then weeks of soul-searching before I really, truly realized that (at least for now) DMing is a thing of my past. It was like a part of me died. It was like the future me that I had always had in my mind was dead. And even now I miss the idea of D&D in my life. I certainly feel like I've lost touch with my players and that it might be a long, long time before I see them again. I'll miss that the most.
I am now in the process of trying to re-define what it means to be "me." What my copious spare time is now for. What activities beyond gaming I might enjoy. My biggest weakness is my fear of failure, and I predict that finding a new hobby will be a challenge due to this weakness. I have lost about 20 lbs this summer and am in the best shape of my adult life. I don't want to backslide in this area, so for sure one of my new "hobbies" is simply to maintain my health through diet and exercise. But I have found that I am not eating quite as healthily nor exercising quite as much, so I really need to work on finding a physically active hobby or activity that I can do frequently.
I don't know why I'm sharing, other than the fact that a) it helps me clear my mind and organize my thoughts, and b) just sharing a life change with friends makes me feel better and helps solidify it in my mind. Mourning is an appropriate reaction to a life change of this magnitude, I believe. And then getting back up and dusting myself off is the next important step, and I think I'm up to the challenge.
