Some great thoughts in here, thanks everyone!
An update: The DM is being very generous and has crafted a class that looks like this: good BAB, d8 HD, monkish skills and skill points, no armor, no shield, simple and martial weapons, combat expertise bonus feat, INT mod plus a bonus following monk AC progression to expertise (ie, you gain AC bonus only when you can use combat expertise, you can use -0 and still gain the AC bonus), base movement increases at higher levels, and a 'whirling dance' ability that allows certain weapons to be used similar to flurry (bonus attack, all at -2). She will have improved trip at level 2. So that is the base. Also, no multiclassing restrictions...
Unfortunetaly my character's WIS will net her a +0 modifier, so anything that adds WIS to AC is out. Cloth Dancing and Whirling Defense sounds like it could be right up her alley, though... I'll have to try to find that source!
The monk/longspear option looks like fun, but that is for another day (a Guan Do is a non-reach polearm alas...)
Swordsage... also interesting. I doubt the DM would let me double stack the INT bonuses to AC, alas... and I want to create her so that all her abilities are not magic-y, so I'd have to choose maneuvers carefully. Actually, odd as it may seem (though I'd have to see about worthwile maneuvers) the warmain may actually work in her favor, due to her higher INT. And WOW, snap kick is interesting, though she will not have the improved unarmed strike. (and man, just noticed Superior Unarmed Strike -- wow, that would be powerful for a monk).
Keep the ideas coming! I am having fun here!
not_me