Lines you've always wanted to use in game...but never have.

[Dannyalcatraz]

Last year, my PC was on point and rolled a 10 for his Spot check, telling the party the path ahead "Looks clear." The party advanced and was jumped by a foe that we took down quickly, after which my PC was asked to scout the way again, and again checked the path ahead. After rolling a 9, he declared the path ahead "Looks clear"- all an accidental re-enactment of a scene from[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88vlVe8CBPY"] Pitch Black[/ame]

After the last syllable was pronounced, smirks turned to guffaws for the next 5 minutes.

But sometimes you want to deliberately interject a bit of humor into the game, and you play a wiseass PC, or you look for an opportunity for a pun, a funny movie quote or some such. Sometimes, though, you come up with a line you KNOW will make your buddies laugh...and have no way to set it up.

For instance, I have always wanted to tell a NPC scrutinizing the party that "These aren't the Druids you're looking for."

Anyone else have a one-liner or pun you haven't been able to deliver?

 

[Lanefan]

I can't think of any right now, mostly because when a good line leaps to mind I usually find a way to force it in - admittedly with sometimes less-than-stellar results.

Lan-"wipe them out - all of them"-efan

 

[Doug McCrae]

"I accidentally mummified an ice cream vendor!"

My PC, the Masked Archer, a Golden Age 1939 superhero, missed his target with his Mummification Arrow, during a battle at the NY World's Fair. However I never actually delivered that line in character.

 

[S'mon]

Line I did deliver while running Rahasia - the PCs killed a small minotaur, then later on encountered a giant minotaur:

"My name is Inigo Minotaur. You killed my brother. Prepare to die."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Line I did deliver while running Rahasia - the PCs killed a small minotaur, then later on encountered a giant minotaur:

"My name is Inigo Minotaur. You killed my brother. Prepare to die."

That is damned funny! Well played, sir, well played!

 

[Relique du Madde]

Imagine, playing in a Star Wars campaign. Your group is forced to withdrawl as their Rebel base slowly falls into Imperial hands. You have little choice of action, since you know that the base's main frame will reveal several rebel strong holds. So instead of falling into the GM's finely crafted rail road, you decide to take some darkside points and blurt out "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

In the end of the day, thousands are sacrificed and die, but the rebellion lives.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

That brings a to my face as well.

 

[White Tornado]

Years ago I was DM'ing 2nd edition. A friend of mine, Harry, decided to give it a try. He rolled up a 1st level wizard, cast his two spells in the first battle, and then started complaining that he couldn't do anything.

"Well, that's just the way it works, dude. You're a wizard, Harry."

Laughter ensued.

 

[Mallus]

I find a way to use all the humorous lines I come up with. Last session it was this:

"You know the old Dragonborn saying: "Stealth in numbers!"

Said as my paladin was trying to convince the entire group to break into an Eladrin cathedral --using a ancient mechanical digging machine-- to steal back the deities they stole from other cultures.

 

[Wednesday Boy]

In high school we were playing bounty hunters in a WEG Star Wars game using the No Disintegrations module. One of the bounties was for the recovery of some orb artifact. We had the orb but were being pursued by the previous owners, so my character passed it to my brother's character before getting nicked. Our adversaries caught my PC and vowed that they would next catch my brother's PC, so I sneered back,

"Like hell you will. He's got a two minutes head start on you, which is more than he needs. He's got friends on every planet and moon from here to Tattooine. He speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom. He'll blend in. Disappear. You'll never see him again. With any luck he already has the orb already."

To which my brother chimed in, "Does anyone here speak Bocce?"