Little expert advice would be appreciated ;)

[TheConductor]

Hey guys, I'm about to run a one-shot adventure for my group, which is loosely based on Left 4 Dead but in a more standard D&D setting. The ruleset is Pathfinder, though this isn't really relevant. I'm somewhat of a newbie DM, and I want to make sure the plot is good.

Basically, the plan I have so far is as follows:
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One of the PCs is approached by a merchant, and is asked to escort a caravan of supplies to a man named Galad (who is a paladin), in the village of Riverstone. They'll be asked also by a monk, to take him with them.

When the PCs inspect the merchandise, they'll notice that there's a lot of carpentry tools, food supplies, and several large barrels of oil, and kegs of water. Also some herbs and medical supplies.

As they head towards Riverstone, they'll notice that the forest is getting less and less healthy, dead trees, rotten stumps, lack of wildlife.

Once they near Riverstone, they'll be ambushed by a gang of ghouls, along with a zombie (CHARGER-type) that will render the caravan useless, and the horses will run away, panicked, leaving the heroes with a lot of supplies to take, on foot. A little while later, late afternoon, when the village is just coming into view, the silence will be broken by the sounds of combat just up ahead, and they'll see a man with a holy symbol in full-plate fighting desperately against another group of ghouls while protecting a group of bedraggled-looking peasants.

When they help the man fight off the undead, he'll introduce himself as Galad, and he will warn the party to hurry and return to Riverstone, or be set upon by "the endless hordes". This will be exacerbated by the fact that they'll be able to hear unworldly groans coming from the distance.

Once they get back to Riverstone, Galad will introduce the other notable NPCs:

Lord Yvan Rutelage - A nobleman, the mayor of the town, who bravely stayed behind in Riverstone to assist his people in escaping.

Kara Rutelage - A cleric of Pelor, also a member of the Order - she has currently been rendered unconscious with a mysterious magical disease that Galad has thus far been powerless to cure.

Captain Orland - Captain of the Militia. An experienced ex-soldier, stepped up to prepare the militia when the undead first started to plague the settlement. A good man.

There will also be various groups of dirty-looking

They explain that the attacks have been intensifying within the past few weeks, to the point where they've been trying to evacuate the civilians, with only limited success.

The undead used to only come at night, and they were slower, weaker, and easier to sneak past previously, but have been slowly changing, becoming stronger, faster, and smarter.

He sent off a message to the Order a week ago, but has no way of knowing if the message actually got there, or if they're acting on it. Luckily, the monk that is with them brings a message from the Order - they are rallying a purge-team to come and assist, and should be here within 48 hours, so if they can hold out for that long, help should arrive.

With the supplies the party brought (what they were able to carry), the food is for the peasants, the oil is to be scattered strategically around the map, and the water is holy water.

After they rest for the night in the reasonably well fortified stone templehall, (which the undead have, until the recent few nights, been unable to enter) they'll go outside, and find claw marks on the wall. When touched, the stone wall will crumble, having been significantly weakened during the night. (This is to tell the players that the temple is no longer a good place to hide)

They'll have all day to build the fortifications, and with the oil from the cart and some "flameroot" they'll be able to make incendiary explosives, if they think of that, and using the holy water and certain combinations of herbs they'll also be able to concoct "musk" which will draw all ghouls and zombies to a particular location for 4 rounds.

The PCs will be forced to defend the village for the night, until rescue comes. Along with many smaller zombies and one ghoul/player, there will be one of each Special Infected. Smoker (Mutated Mohrg with 20ft range Tongue attack), Spitter/Boomer (Undead Digester that explodes when killed), Hunter/Jockey (Bhuta with racial bonus to Jump and Improved Grab) including finally a Tank (flesh golem with Feral template).

If they can defeat all the Special Zombies, the rescue party from the Order will arrive to assist the PCs, and quickly destroy any remaining undead.

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Thoughts? I like to dodge any obvious "But why didn't they just do THIS durrrr" questions that may pop up.

If you have any questions, input, praise, criticism, or flaming poop to throw, I'd love to accept any or all of it.

I want this game to be good

 

[Hammerhead]

Where's Francis?

I hate mules. I hate wagons. I hate paladins. I hate spells. I hate otyughs...

 

[TheConductor]

Where's Francis?

I hate mules. I hate wagons. I hate paladins. I hate spells. I hate otyughs...

Thanks man, your advice has helped me to advance as a DM, and also, as a human being. How can I ever repay you for such kindness?

 

[fba827]

Overall, a good layout that should suffice for a one-shot.

A couple quick thoughts came to mind as reading

(mind you, these may very well be issues of non-importance to your group's playstyle, so feel free to ignore whatever won't apply to your group).

They'll be asked also by a monk, to take him with them.

Is this monk a PC? Or simply a plot device for the message he's going to relay later on?

Once they near Riverstone, they'll be ambushed by a gang of ghouls, along with a zombie (CHARGER-type) that will render the caravan useless, and the horses will run away, panicked, leaving the heroes with a lot of supplies to take, on foot.

Ah, this is my one real sticking point with your layout. I mean story-wise it is a good twist to make them think on how to get supplies there without the wagon (i.e. carry it). But game-wise, you are already plotting out the resolution of a combat. a) players always manage to do something you aren't expecting and b) with a foregone conclusion you could frustrate PCs into thinking "it didn't matter what we did, we could have beat everyone and he'd still take away the wagon"

After reading the rest of your layout, the loss of the wagon doesn't seem to be a huge focus, so maybe don't automatically assume the attack will end in the loss of the wagon, but instead it 'might' -- just have the zombies there and if they stop them from getting to the wagon, let them keep it.


Alternatively, if losing the wagon is important, perhaps the road to the town goes over a bridge and the bridge has been destroyed. Thus, carrying loads over the water is the only way (perhaps with the horse/mule) but the wagon simply won't make it through the high water. That way you aren't going into a combat with a foregone conclusion of losing the wagon but you still lose the wagon later on.

Luckily, the monk that is with them brings a message from the Order - they are rallying a purge-team to come and assist, and should be here within 48 hours, so if they can hold out for that long, help should arrive.

As said above, is this a PC or NPC? Also, what form will this message take? If the monk is merely "telling" the message then the question will come up "if the monk knew that there was danger here, why didn't he say something sooner?"
So, if having the monk there isn't important, then consider it being a "sealed message in the cargo" that is part of the delivery. that way the townsfolk can still get the message but you don't have the awkwardness of why wasn't it mentioned as a potential danger prior to actually getting there.

They'll have all day to build the fortifications, and with the oil from the cart and some "flameroot" they'll be able to make incendiary explosives, if they think of that, and using the holy water and certain combinations of herbs they'll also be able to concoct "musk" which will draw all ghouls and zombies to a particular location for 4 rounds.

How "kick in the door and charge with guns blazing" are your players? They may not stop to do all that prep work, they may just go out with weapons drawn ready to kill as many as they can.

It might 'cheat' the PCs a little if the NPCs in town suddenly say "lets make these explosives" - it's best if that sort of thought comes from the PCs. So maybe, sometime way at the beginning when the PCs first get the cargo and look it over, make a subtle comment that some of the cargo looks explosive and not to get fire near it ... that will plant a little seed in the players' minds for later without being obvious about it at relevant point.

If they can defeat all the Special Zombies, the rescue party from the Order will arrive to assist the PCs, and quickly destroy any remaining undead.

Just be sure there is a good in game way to relay the information about the special zombies. For instance, one of the town NPCs says something like "those groups there are blocking the main road. if we can't take them out, the reinforcements will not have a safe path to get here ..." or "we really should clear the south entrance of town since that is our escape route if they overcome us from the north and east as they'll never be able to catch us in that terrain that way" (or something to that effect to point them to the special zombies in questions)


Finally, my only other thought is ....
The town needs a reason for being defended. It can be as simple as "it is our home" but why then would the PCs care - what's to stop them from saying "screw the town, let's make a run for it (with or without the civilians)"
Maybe some of the towns folks are sick/injured from the frequent attacks? Maybe there is something special about the town itself? Maybe one of the PCs is originally from here (or has parents/siblings here)? Maybe -all- the PCs are originally from here or have ties to this place?

Anyway, as I said up top -- a good story over all. And lots of my comments may not even apply to your group (since they really just pick at certain potential play styles).

Have fun with the session!

Edit: Oh, and welcome to the boards.

 

[nedjer]

That's entertaining but, as the man said, there are quite a few set outcomes/ what happens next is dependent on a particular outcome.

I'd be more than happy to play, but I doubt if I'd follow the 'instructions' all the way. E.g. in a mercenary world it'd be an option to let the ghouls and Galad beat up on each other - then collect on a full set of plate armour

 

[Lhorgrim]

Thanks man, your advice has helped me to advance as a DM, and also, as a human being. How can I ever repay you for such kindness?

I think Hammerhead was making a funny about Francis from the Left4Dead franchise you mentioned.

As I recall, Francis' audio cues mostly began with "I hate...".

 

[Piratecat]

Some thoughts:

- Consider having the ghouls target the horses right away. This could set up a really neat combat scenario where the ghouls are trying to kill the horses and the PCs are desperately trying to protect them. I'm not sure why they're so excited about the horses, other than "ghoul riding a ghoulish flesh-eating horse" is a pretty awesome image.

- I have a dislike for "what perfect timing!" scenes. You could avoid the nick of time rescue of the paladin if they find dozens of dead zombies and signs that a survivor beat feet for a nearby farmhouse. the farm house is now surrounded by zombies, the paladin is resting and recovering his strength, and the PCs need to break the zombie siege to get him out.

- I'm also not sure why the PCs don't simply leave while they still can. I could see my group doing that! You could always sucker them into staying by not mentioning the special zombies until its too late.

- Instead of a disease, think about why this is happening. Perhaps a necromancer found a cursed orb and has become the zombie leader. Killing him and ending the siege is much, much more satisfying than being rescued by outsiders.

Sounds fun in any case.

 

[the Jester]

I dunno man, I see a whole lot of predetermined outcomes here.

Understand that your party may not follow the thread as you desire. They may leave the town to its fate; they might slay the attacking undead before the caravan is destroyed; they might decide to seek the source of the problem instead of defending the town; they might decide to flee the area completely; they may decide to keep all those supplies to fight the undead with themselves.

I strongly recommend against taking away or neutering player choice.

 

[TheConductor]

My responses in Bold.

Overall, a good layout that should suffice for a one-shot.

A couple quick thoughts came to mind as reading

(mind you, these may very well be issues of non-importance to your group's playstyle, so feel free to ignore whatever won't apply to your group).


Is this monk a PC? Or simply a plot device for the message he's going to relay later on? He's a PC played by the guy who usually DMs for us. I'm running a one-shot this week due to one of our players being unavailable. He has no idea of the theme of the game.

Ah, this is my one real sticking point with your layout. I mean story-wise it is a good twist to make them think on how to get supplies there without the wagon (i.e. carry it). But game-wise, you are already plotting out the resolution of a combat. a) players always manage to do something you aren't expecting and b) with a foregone conclusion you could frustrate PCs into thinking "it didn't matter what we did, we could have beat everyone and he'd still take away the wagon"

After reading the rest of your layout, the loss of the wagon doesn't seem to be a huge focus, so maybe don't automatically assume the attack will end in the loss of the wagon, but instead it 'might' -- just have the zombies there and if they stop them from getting to the wagon, let them keep it.

Alternatively, if losing the wagon is important, perhaps the road to the town goes over a bridge and the bridge has been destroyed. Thus, carrying loads over the water is the only way (perhaps with the horse/mule) but the wagon simply won't make it through the high water. That way you aren't going into a combat with a foregone conclusion of losing the wagon but you still lose the wagon later on. This is a really good idea, I'll let the combat play out for itself, then have the bridge destroyed up ahead. If they can defend the wagon that's fine.

As said above, is this a PC or NPC? PC. Also, what form will this message take? If the monk is merely "telling" the message then the question will come up "if the monk knew that there was danger here, why didn't he say something sooner?"
So, if having the monk there isn't important, then consider it being a "sealed message in the cargo" that is part of the delivery. that way the townsfolk can still get the message but you don't have the awkwardness of why wasn't it mentioned as a potential danger prior to actually getting there. This is a really good idea. I'll also use this one. I really can't rely on a PC to relay info.

How "kick in the door and charge with guns blazing" are your players? They may not stop to do all that prep work, they may just go out with weapons drawn ready to kill as many as they can. I think they'll definitely examine the supplies closely.

It might 'cheat' the PCs a little if the NPCs in town suddenly say "lets make these explosives" - it's best if that sort of thought comes from the PCs. So maybe, sometime way at the beginning when the PCs first get the cargo and look it over, make a subtle comment that some of the cargo looks explosive and not to get fire near it ... that will plant a little seed in the players' minds for later without being obvious about it at relevant point. We have a rogue skilled in herbalism, and a wizard skilled in alchemy and potion-making who just LOVES using stuff in random ways. I'm confident they will find it without a cue.

Just be sure there is a good in game way to relay the information about the special zombies. For instance, one of the town NPCs says something like "those groups there are blocking the main road. if we can't take them out, the reinforcements will not have a safe path to get here ..." or "we really should clear the south entrance of town since that is our escape route if they overcome us from the north and east as they'll never be able to catch us in that terrain that way" (or something to that effect to point them to the special zombies in questions)I think I forgot to mention in my description that the paladin and cleric were escorting the civilians out of the city, to a settlement called Shiring, half a days travel from River

Finally, my only other thought is ....
The town needs a reason for being defended. It can be as simple as "it is our home" but why then would the PCs care - what's to stop them from saying "screw the town, let's make a run for it (with or without the civilians)"
Maybe some of the towns folks are sick/injured from the frequent attacks? Maybe there is something special about the town itself? Maybe one of the PCs is originally from here (or has parents/siblings here)? Maybe -all- the PCs are originally from here or have ties to this place? This is a good idea - I might have the paladin be the monk's father.

Anyway, as I said up top -- a good story over all. And lots of my comments may not even apply to your group (since they really just pick at certain potential play styles).

Have fun with the session!

Edit: Oh, and welcome to the boards.

Thanks heaps man, your input is greatly appreciated. And I'm not being sarcastic this time, a lot of your points have been massively helpful to me.

I think Hammerhead was making a funny about Francis from the Left4Dead franchise you mentioned.

As I recall, Francis' audio cues mostly began with "I hate...".

Yeah, I did of course get the reference. I apologize for being a tad snarky, I thought he was being a bit of a troll.

Some thoughts:

- Consider having the ghouls target the horses right away. This could set up a really neat combat scenario where the ghouls are trying to kill the horses and the PCs are desperately trying to protect them. I'm not sure why they're so excited about the horses, other than "ghoul riding a ghoulish flesh-eating horse" is a pretty awesome image. Nice idea, I'll have the ghouls target the horses, and the "charger" target the cart.

- I have a dislike for "what perfect timing!" scenes. You could avoid the nick of time rescue of the paladin if they find dozens of dead zombies and signs that a survivor beat feet for a nearby farmhouse. the farm house is now surrounded by zombies, the paladin is resting and recovering his strength, and the PCs need to break the zombie siege to get him out. This is a fair enough comment, but I think that my players would probably just walk on by without an immediate reason to intervene. The monk being the son of the paladin is an excellent reason

- I'm also not sure why the PCs don't simply leave while they still can. I could see my group doing that! You could always sucker them into staying by not mentioning the special zombies until its too late. Nah, I have confidence that they'll go all the way. I think the monk's urging would be a good incentive for the others.

- Instead of a disease, think about why this is happening. Perhaps a necromancer found a cursed orb and has become the zombie leader. Killing him and ending the siege is much, much more satisfying than being rescued by outsiders. I was originally planning to have the disease be a symptom of a deal that the mayor made with a necromancer years ago - to save his daughter from a wasting disease in exchange for his own soul. The zombie swarm could be the necromancer trying to collect. The problem is I'm not sure how to implement that...

Sounds fun in any case.

Cheers man, I appreciate the input.

I dunno man, I see a whole lot of predetermined outcomes here.

Understand that your party may not follow the thread as you desire. They may leave the town to its fate; they might slay the attacking undead before the caravan is destroyed; they might decide to seek the source of the problem instead of defending the town; they might decide to flee the area completely; they may decide to keep all those supplies to fight the undead with themselves. The NPCs in the village are going to definitely allow the PCs to use the supplies to fight the undeads.

I strongly recommend against taking away or neutering player choice.

Thanks for the advice dude, but I think most of this was probably already covered above.

Thanks everyone for the helpful advice!