Vraille Darkfang
First Post
OK. I've about had it. Although my wife is only a few years younger than me, she is of the 'TV generation' whereas I am not.
By TV generation, I'm referring to more a culture than an age. While it seems to be more prevalent the younger the population, it exists in all ages. (Including my mother-in-law, which is where my wife gets it).
By TV Generation I am referring to thus people who 1,000 years from know anthropologists will say worshipped the god known as Television.
Once the TV is on, her eyes get glossy, mouth droops open a little bit and 100% of her attention is dedicated to the TV. And I mean 100%, communication becomes impossible if the TV is on. In fact, disturbing her TV viewing is akin to clubbing baby seals-with clubs made from Panda bones. Not that disturbing her is easy, short of an electrical outage or physically blocking the TV (which is what I do, risking my life every time), she won't pay attention.
She just been raised that way. Her mother is EXACTLY the same. I've nearly been thrown out of her house for talking while Charmed was on. And my wife was an only child & her mother had to raise her alone (her dad being a Grade A+ waste of human genetics), and money was tight. Thus TV became a cheap sitter. She was raised to spend hours looking at the tube.
But, its gone beyond that. Her mother uses TV as an excuse to avoid human interaction. My wife uses it the same way. TV on, no one speaks until TV off. The very idea of using TV as a way to get together with others is unthinkable (such as movie parties). They use it as a shield to cut themselves off from humanity.
My mother-in-law does it because, well, she used Charisma as her dump stat. Actually, that's not true, she just prefers to take 1 on all her Diplomacy checks. She has issues & I'll leave it at that. (Know those women who'll ONLY date guys if they'll treat her like a completely useless piece of sh** & sponge off them? She's one of those). Now my wife is getting into the same rut. Telling her she turning into her mother is not a viable option, as I like living, thank you very much (despite her telling me I SHOULD tell her if I see her turning into her mother, I've been married long enough to know the difference between what a women SAYS & what she MEANS, which in this case is 'how comfy is the couch?')
Two examples that sum it up.
1. I'm grilling some juicy sirloin steaks. We have a very cheap little charcoal grill right now & flame-ups are a real problem. So this huge glob of fat hits the coals & the flame up is scorching the meat with foot tall flames. I forgot my little spray bottle, so I start shouting for my wife (not wanting to leave foot tall flames alone. After I've been shouting for 30 seconds for help, she comes to the window & yells at me "I'm watching TV" (as if that answers everything).
I respond "I need some water the flames are getting out of control & could ruin the steaks" (not the cheap kind either).
"But I'm watching TV, get it yourself!"
"I don't want to leave the fire alone"
"Fine" (Loudly stomping, sounds of dishes being harshly rattled, wife runs out, throws a thing or water at me, runs back inside to her TV show; a re-run of SG-1 she hadn't seen. Of course her uncle has all of them on DVD, but that doesn't matter as that show was on NOW).
Example 2.
Me, my wife & my Mother-in-law had to make an emergency trip to Mexico. Fine, my Grandmother lives in west Texas. We could drive down, spend the night with her, drive to Mexico, drive back, spend another night then head back to Missouri. So we are there & they (wife & her mother) turn on the TV (which my grandmother only uses for 4 things: Weather Channel, CNN, MSNBC, & NFL Cowboys' Games).
She wants to talk. After all, she's 78 years old & wants to learn about the new people in the family as she doubts she may ever get a chance to meet them again. So she stands between my wife & her mom & the TV and says "Why don't we all sit around and visit?"
Wife & her mother: One leans to the left to see around my grandma, the other leans to the right.
Grandma shuts off TV & says, lets visit, I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to find out all about you.
My grandma lived through WWII, worked with my Grandfather in the Natural Gas business for 40 years, has had skin cancer twice & a complete hysterectomy. She was never closer to dying than she was at that moment. I thought I was going to have to keep my mother-in-law from throttling my grandma. But, they sulked & visited. (my wife really enjoyed it, more so that what was on TV).
When we got back from the trip, they complained how rude my grandma was for shutting off the TV. "You mean the women whose HOUSE we were staying in for 3 days on a week's notice, cooked every meal, did your laundry, replaced my flat tire we got driving down there & paid my speeding ticket I got getting there (Damned Texas Highway patrol, see an out of state plate & you're screwed, I was speeding; 80 in 70; but my car WON'T go 95; I've tried), and who wanted to find out about the new people who are MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY NOW?"
"Yes, that was just inexcusably rude to turn off the TV when people are watching it."
And that sums it up. My wife has been raised to elevate TV above people. I haven't. Interacting with people trumps TV every time. I'd rather spend time with my friends & family than watch a re-run of Buffy. And truth be told, so does my wife. I just have to put up with the couple hours of 'Death Gaze' before she gets into it.
So after a very long rant began by being exiled to the computer room upon the discovery of an X-Files episode (I was going to go out & birdwatch, but a hawk paused in my yard, which while exciting, drove all other wildlife into hiding).
So, how do you wean a TV addict? A life-long Addict? The daughter of an Addict? This is the one thing about my wife that really ticks me off & that I'll NEVER be able to accept. All her other quirks & stuff I can handle; but this will continue to grate on me every day.
(I should point out my wife is, overall, a wonderful women. Intelligent, cute, funny, a gamer, even paints miniatures. I don't for 1 second regret marrying her, I just wish to find a compromise between Family, Friends, & TV. Actually, no compromise is involved, I say family & friends is more important than a bunch of electronics; and deep down I think she does too, I just not sure how to get her to realize that).
End of way too long rant.
By TV generation, I'm referring to more a culture than an age. While it seems to be more prevalent the younger the population, it exists in all ages. (Including my mother-in-law, which is where my wife gets it).
By TV Generation I am referring to thus people who 1,000 years from know anthropologists will say worshipped the god known as Television.
Once the TV is on, her eyes get glossy, mouth droops open a little bit and 100% of her attention is dedicated to the TV. And I mean 100%, communication becomes impossible if the TV is on. In fact, disturbing her TV viewing is akin to clubbing baby seals-with clubs made from Panda bones. Not that disturbing her is easy, short of an electrical outage or physically blocking the TV (which is what I do, risking my life every time), she won't pay attention.
She just been raised that way. Her mother is EXACTLY the same. I've nearly been thrown out of her house for talking while Charmed was on. And my wife was an only child & her mother had to raise her alone (her dad being a Grade A+ waste of human genetics), and money was tight. Thus TV became a cheap sitter. She was raised to spend hours looking at the tube.
But, its gone beyond that. Her mother uses TV as an excuse to avoid human interaction. My wife uses it the same way. TV on, no one speaks until TV off. The very idea of using TV as a way to get together with others is unthinkable (such as movie parties). They use it as a shield to cut themselves off from humanity.
My mother-in-law does it because, well, she used Charisma as her dump stat. Actually, that's not true, she just prefers to take 1 on all her Diplomacy checks. She has issues & I'll leave it at that. (Know those women who'll ONLY date guys if they'll treat her like a completely useless piece of sh** & sponge off them? She's one of those). Now my wife is getting into the same rut. Telling her she turning into her mother is not a viable option, as I like living, thank you very much (despite her telling me I SHOULD tell her if I see her turning into her mother, I've been married long enough to know the difference between what a women SAYS & what she MEANS, which in this case is 'how comfy is the couch?')
Two examples that sum it up.
1. I'm grilling some juicy sirloin steaks. We have a very cheap little charcoal grill right now & flame-ups are a real problem. So this huge glob of fat hits the coals & the flame up is scorching the meat with foot tall flames. I forgot my little spray bottle, so I start shouting for my wife (not wanting to leave foot tall flames alone. After I've been shouting for 30 seconds for help, she comes to the window & yells at me "I'm watching TV" (as if that answers everything).
I respond "I need some water the flames are getting out of control & could ruin the steaks" (not the cheap kind either).
"But I'm watching TV, get it yourself!"
"I don't want to leave the fire alone"
"Fine" (Loudly stomping, sounds of dishes being harshly rattled, wife runs out, throws a thing or water at me, runs back inside to her TV show; a re-run of SG-1 she hadn't seen. Of course her uncle has all of them on DVD, but that doesn't matter as that show was on NOW).
Example 2.
Me, my wife & my Mother-in-law had to make an emergency trip to Mexico. Fine, my Grandmother lives in west Texas. We could drive down, spend the night with her, drive to Mexico, drive back, spend another night then head back to Missouri. So we are there & they (wife & her mother) turn on the TV (which my grandmother only uses for 4 things: Weather Channel, CNN, MSNBC, & NFL Cowboys' Games).
She wants to talk. After all, she's 78 years old & wants to learn about the new people in the family as she doubts she may ever get a chance to meet them again. So she stands between my wife & her mom & the TV and says "Why don't we all sit around and visit?"
Wife & her mother: One leans to the left to see around my grandma, the other leans to the right.
Grandma shuts off TV & says, lets visit, I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to find out all about you.
My grandma lived through WWII, worked with my Grandfather in the Natural Gas business for 40 years, has had skin cancer twice & a complete hysterectomy. She was never closer to dying than she was at that moment. I thought I was going to have to keep my mother-in-law from throttling my grandma. But, they sulked & visited. (my wife really enjoyed it, more so that what was on TV).
When we got back from the trip, they complained how rude my grandma was for shutting off the TV. "You mean the women whose HOUSE we were staying in for 3 days on a week's notice, cooked every meal, did your laundry, replaced my flat tire we got driving down there & paid my speeding ticket I got getting there (Damned Texas Highway patrol, see an out of state plate & you're screwed, I was speeding; 80 in 70; but my car WON'T go 95; I've tried), and who wanted to find out about the new people who are MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY NOW?"
"Yes, that was just inexcusably rude to turn off the TV when people are watching it."
And that sums it up. My wife has been raised to elevate TV above people. I haven't. Interacting with people trumps TV every time. I'd rather spend time with my friends & family than watch a re-run of Buffy. And truth be told, so does my wife. I just have to put up with the couple hours of 'Death Gaze' before she gets into it.
So after a very long rant began by being exiled to the computer room upon the discovery of an X-Files episode (I was going to go out & birdwatch, but a hawk paused in my yard, which while exciting, drove all other wildlife into hiding).
So, how do you wean a TV addict? A life-long Addict? The daughter of an Addict? This is the one thing about my wife that really ticks me off & that I'll NEVER be able to accept. All her other quirks & stuff I can handle; but this will continue to grate on me every day.
(I should point out my wife is, overall, a wonderful women. Intelligent, cute, funny, a gamer, even paints miniatures. I don't for 1 second regret marrying her, I just wish to find a compromise between Family, Friends, & TV. Actually, no compromise is involved, I say family & friends is more important than a bunch of electronics; and deep down I think she does too, I just not sure how to get her to realize that).
End of way too long rant.
![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
(Don't ask me how however... 
